CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...
I hadn't seen my daughter since July 5th 2011 and got to the hospital a few hours before she had a c-section. She called me when she went into labor and I drove the nine hours virtually non-stop to be by her side. She began some contact a few months ago - - very random by email only. On Christmas we skyped and we skyped once in January. She mentioned me coming up to dog sit for her when she had the baby sometime late last year. I ignored the part of dogsitting and ran with it.
I have to say she was happy to see me and it is like no time has passed. I haven't left her side since the baby was born. Fighting back tears as I am typing - - she is only feet away from me.
Her bf is still very much in the picture (unfortunately). Since he is unable to cross the border to be with her he is extremely jealous that I am here and he isn't. She has spent more time on skype with him than she has spent with the baby. I have had to bite my tongue more than once. IT IS SO DIFFICULT.
He is now going to try to cross the border one of the nights I am here! I told her that is fine, I can find a hotel for the night. I know it is a control thing. This relationship is toxic.
I don't know what is going on yet or if she will stay in contact when I leave, just taking what I can get while I can get it.
Emilie Elizabeth born 03/18 @ 1:01 am 6lbs 14oz 20" and very healthy. Very contented baby. I am blessed.
Still praying for God's will. BUT I have added please have his will be that she invites HIM back into her life. Please pray for us. Thanks!
I have to say she was happy to see me and it is like no time has passed. I haven't left her side since the baby was born. Fighting back tears as I am typing - - she is only feet away from me.
Her bf is still very much in the picture (unfortunately). Since he is unable to cross the border to be with her he is extremely jealous that I am here and he isn't. She has spent more time on skype with him than she has spent with the baby. I have had to bite my tongue more than once. IT IS SO DIFFICULT.
He is now going to try to cross the border one of the nights I am here! I told her that is fine, I can find a hotel for the night. I know it is a control thing. This relationship is toxic.
I don't know what is going on yet or if she will stay in contact when I leave, just taking what I can get while I can get it.
Emilie Elizabeth born 03/18 @ 1:01 am 6lbs 14oz 20" and very healthy. Very contented baby. I am blessed.
Still praying for God's will. BUT I have added please have his will be that she invites HIM back into her life. Please pray for us. Thanks!
For now, I see this as an opportunity to build on what is there for now. It may not be much and you may have to walk on eggshells for a while until you can figue out which way the wind is blowing but it is a start. Perhaps it might be a good time to reach out to the new father by buying all three a small gift. He is going to be a part of your daughter's life it seems and evidently they do care for each other. Your daughter, if necessary, will choose the boyfriend over you it seems from what you write, so anything that might bring peace with the bf will help keep you in the picture. Anything within reason of course.
thanks so much for giving us your happy news and your update.
Yes, we will indeed keep you in our prayers! I understand all of your apprehensions about your fragile relationship with your daughter still and it's understandable. I commend you for biting your tongue! (Haven't we all got tongues that have been bitten into??)
Pray for them (new grandchild, daughter and b/f) as fervently as you have never before. This is when our faith gets to be practiced and put into "full gear".
There's nothing like a new life to come into the world and change the family around them.
Just hoping you protect your heart, knowing that there's always the possibility that your daughter who you are now reconnected with could someday revert back to her old estrangement behavior. I'm not trying to discourage you dear friend, just being honest, as this happened to me with our ES. I got to hold my baby grandson within 10 hours of his birth..mind you and I was thinking..ok..this little child will help to mend some of the distance between us..but not to be. Not fair to put that responsibility on a child anyway..they are innocent ones..and really as their grandparent, we only have such fragile connections often times.
I sure pray that for your new baby granddaughter's sake this doesn't happen.
It does looks hopeful that your once estranged daughter has realized just how important a person you are in her life, and that of her newborn child.
Enjoy every precious moment, hours and days with both your "girls"right now...it's these moments which will keep your heart afloat when you need to return to your every day life nine hours drive away from them...
Congrats again on "Emilie"..such a precious and beautiful Easter joy. A wonderful season to become a grandmother!
God's mercies and grace and gifts to us are such blessings when they come!
Maddie
Please keep us posted. We thrive of good news and stand ready to help those who have not yet seen signs of softening of hardened hearts.
Blessings,
CM
As I was reading this board she just called to check in... she told me the baby slept well last night and she asked that I call her when I get home so she knows I am safe. Wow!
I met several angels that are now in her life. One is a volunteer for Gabriel's Angels the other is a non-practicing social worker appearing as a photographer. God is good.
God is working in your daughter's life as she seems to be showing you a lot of respect and concern for your safety...
Thanks for giving us this update.
You'll be missing them, so we will pray and hope that you will still be connected through calls and computer connections..God is indeed good!
We love to hear such good news! It gives hope to the rest of us who are still waiting for a break through with our estranged adult children..
Smiling with you!
Maddie
Her dad is heading up this coming weekend. I am sending some additional items. For now, I am taking what I can get.
Praying for everyone in this group that they too will make the connections with their ED or ES. Please add a prayer for Nancy my daughters Gabriel angel who is being tested on Monday for uterine cancer.
For now, I would not focus on that possibility, just keep focusing on what is in front of you today and enjoy the blessings that God has provided for you. Keep you eyes wide open but let tomorrow take care of itself.
Take care,
Paige
It was a baby that opened the door between my mother and my sister after 7 years of no contact. They worked through it and were able to keep the new relationship.
I will pray for such a blessing in your family.
I really wish she would move back to this area where she would have far more opportunities to pull herself out of poverty. As long as baby daddy is in the picture that isn't going to happen. I am trying to be tolerant of the relationship, I just feel it is toxic.
It had been 20 months since I had seen my daughter. I am hoping that this baby does end the estrangement but I know that is a lot to put on a tiny baby.