soverysadmom, so sorry for your pain. The balance between hope and acceptance is a difficult one. Cling to the Lord each day for renewed strength and endurance. Try to focus on the blessings you do have and keep yourself busy. I know for me, too much "thinking time" can be devastating and send me right back to square 1.
In my quiet time this morning, I feel like God is telling me to be sure my hope is in Him alone and nothing/ no one in this world.
Have you ever read the book "Parents with a Broken Heart"? I really liked it- good Christian perspective of encouragement and reality of our situation.
Hang in there.
hugs.

Happy Birthday. I am sorry you were disappointed on your birthday. Sadly, this is common of EC. It was brave and well meaning of your DH to do this. Our EC are self centered or being stopped by others (including the enemy) to do the right thing in many cases. In our ED's case, she would not respond either. We continue to pray that God will change their hearts. Out ED will have to reach some sort of bottom first DH and I believe. They are losing so much from us and the Lord, this way.

We are mothers and always hope. Our hope is in the Lord who can do all things. The word Accept is a good word until that time.

Happy Birthday Soverysad!! I think they do it to us on purpose....its their way now of "acting out" their displeasure at us! When they were little and we were with them 24/7 they had ample opportunity to show us their little fits and tantrums. We then dealt with them and life moved on. Now they want us to know how they feel to punish us, and if you are not completely detached from them, then ignoring us on our birthdays become a way to "show us" and to "hurt us" without having to be around us all the time! Just my take on the situation...could be wrong, but my own ES#1 was doing this to me for several years before the detachment came and I knew it was to "hurt me and to tick me off" as he was making this a game between us those last few years. He is very arrogant and cocky and likes to brag to his buddies and his wife and used to brag at family gatherings to DH and I also, about ticking people off on purpose that he doesn't like or is mad at, then laughing at them behind their backs...so it did not take a PHD for me to figure out when this behavior was aimed at me what game was being played with me. When I refused to take the bait in front of him, then his behavior towards me became worse and worse in those last years. But I digress Soverysad....as my point was that it could be that you are being hurt in this way on purpose too. I don't have any advice on how to handle that....my way obviously did not work for me....as this ES got so ugly and abusive we had to detach for me to maintain my sanity!