There is a site called meetup.com that can help set up a local group, but I'm not sure how you would "advertise" it outside of that main site… But I suspect, just like we all found this site, hurting people will find that one. "Build it and they will come"

Another way could be to speak to your Pastor or Priest and ask about starting one at the church, then it could be advertised via the church bulletin and possibly in the newspaper.

Are there local coffee shops? When I lived in NC, we had a family run coffee shop that had comfy seats and people advertised there with flyers to meet certain nights or mornings for coffee and Bible Study, games, support groups, etc…

Even if there is just one other hurting parent, it would be a blessing to sit face to face…
"For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst." Matthew 18:20

What a good idea to start up a group. I can only think of doing it through a church. It could be put in the bulletin. The pastor or church leader may have some suggestions,also. This would be a great blessing to those going through estrangement who may feel lost. We all know what that felt like. God bless you and please let us know how you are led.

Love Katesmom's reply. Let us know if you start the group.

I think it is really needed. The ONLY thing holding me back is fear of judgment. Knowing how gossipy this town is, it scares me think of possibly getting people that cant keep things confidential. I friend of mine went to an al-anon meeting in another town, 25 miles away. The next week, EVERYONE knew she went to the meeting, why she went & were gossiping about her family. That raises a huge red flag for me. The last thing I need is more judgment. I have to try to work through & move past that fear, with the Lord's help. I have talked to our parish counselor & she thinks it would be hard to do, because people are reluctant to talk about such personal things, as we all are. I think if I can get a group of Christian people who can keep the things shared in confidence, it will be great. She said she would help me start it, but wants to wait until after Confirmation in March. We just got a new Bishop assigned to our Diocese & he has to approve these things. He also gets ordained in late March. Im looking at possible summer before we can begin. I have never been good at speaking in front of people, but working at an elementary school for 10 years has helped me in that area lol. Thank you for all your words of encouragement! I wish you could all come here for a meeting!

Gordos,

That's really terrible as Alanon and the like is suppose to be confidential. It just goes to show that this world is really scraping the bottom of the barrel in the way people choose to conduct their affairs...

At any rate, I think it's a fabulous idea. I think you should do it if you feel strongly about it. I also live in a smallish area but they have tons of AA groups but the other kinds, zero, Most of the time they meet at local churches who allow them to use the space,

I agree USITMON, our world is getting worse by the day. That poor woman hid in her house for weeks & has vowed never to go to another Alanon meeting. It just so happened that someone else from our town was in the back where she went unnoticed. My friend thinks this woman just goes to be nosy. How bored & vengeful would a person have to be?? I need to move forward with this & just PRAY for confidentiality. I am thinking a "general" support group would be best. It could be for depression (which I also have), anxiety, family issues, etc.

Hi Gordos, I too think a group would be awesome, but all the drawbacks mentioned would be daunting to overcome. I attended a group when my first daughter was acting out called "Stand Up Parenting". It used to be called "Tough Love". Groups are run by volunteers weekly but they might be worth looking into. They have a well planned format and people attend from all walks of life to get support for their "acting out kid" (a-ok). We would form groups of 3-4 people and the first 1/2 hour we'd share how our weekly "plan of action" went. The 2nd 1/2 hour, we would have a speaker or share relevant educational material. The last 1/2 hour we would break into small groups again and each discuss and write down a plan of action for the coming week. If you could find a group like this, or start one yourself, you may find more neighbors than you think attending. We all had a strong bond and shared each others pain. They have great training too. Check them out at http://www.standupparenting.org/

Maybe you could speak to your pastor about collecting anonymous prayer requests from the congregation during a service, for anyone with an estranged family member who would like prayer. If there's a good response, maybe he will support you in sponsoring a lunch following a service one day, and advertise it in the Church bulletin.

I think it will be difficult though, since most of us feel hurt and embarrassed by the actions our EC have taken.
It's one thing to request prayer, but another to sit and speak about a child that chooses to avoid us. It's very unnatural, and feels too embarrassing to talk about openly.

Gordos4....I very much admire your desire to help others that are in the same sad situation that we all are with our EC. I read your post several times and the words, "Judge not, lest ye be judged yourself", kept playing in my mind. These "good Christians" you say that live in your town don't sound like they live by the Word if they stand in judgment of others or how your "mother" conducted her life. What a sad place to be if a person finds their self in such a lofty position that they feel they can judge your mother, how you turned out, your problems with your child/children or how anyone else conducts their lives. Maybe you should ask your pastor/priest to give several sermons on humility, love, kindness to one another and non judgment of other humans misguided pasts, etc. I too have problems with my children.....they feel they are so perfect that they can "judge" me. Yet I see them both making the same or far worse mistakes than I made. Life is a cycle and until we as humans, learn to look within our own hearts and spot our own faults and stop judging others for theirs......the cycle will continue. Good luck with your endeavor to enlighten people to the heartbreak of older adult parenthood and God bless you with the knowledge on how, not only to help those of us who suffer through this but those who would stand in judgment of us.