Yesterday was just HORRIBLE. I cried, got mad, yelled at God, yelled at my husband, no one was left out, including myself :-) Does anyone have days like that? I've never yelled at God before. I said "God, if you aren't going to listen to me, Im not going to make it". I KNOW that a lot of my bitterness stems from my own guilt, which is from the enemy. I hate to admit this, but I thought all day of just ending it all, I cant take the pain anymore. When I went to brush my teeth, my hands were shaking so bad, I could hardly hang onto the toothbrush. I started my diffuser & sat there for awhile. All of a sudden, literally, I felt a peace & calm come over me. It was as if God said "Nancy, let the guilt go". I almost didn't want to go to sleep because I was afraid the feeling would go away. I woke up at 5 this morning, which isnt unusual for me. I have Hashimotos thyroid disease, which makes staying sleeping difficult, not to mention it makes my depression 10X worse. I feel the same this morning, that knot that has been in my stomach for 2 weeks seems to be gone. I have been fasting in an attempt to get closer to God. After a few days, my appetite went away too. I know this sounds horrible too, but I had to MAKE myself say my chaplet to St. Michael last night. I did one thing different. At the end of each Our Father, I said Alleluia, Praise God. Im not sure exactly what part did it, I know the glory ALL belongs to God. This morning is the first morning in a LONG time I haven't woken up with guilt in my heart. You lose this battle satan, & will ALWAYS lose! I am no longer feeling guilty, it isn't my fault! Praise God!