CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group

Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...

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I sometimes wish my son wouldnt call me..

gordos4
gordos4
My youngest son just called me & could tell he'd been drinking. He just started a new job, & seemed to be getting better. I have been hoping & praying for him to get some help or stop drinking. He called 2 Fridays ago, & was drunk, combative, argumentative,etc. I told him that night NOT to call when drunk. It kills my heart a little every time I talk to him & know he's been drinking. He calls every other day, which is sweet, I think he's homesick, but I know he suffers with depression. I have told him SO many times that alcohol makes depression worse. I guess he likes the temporary high from alcohol.
I know this sounds horrible, but I know he will have to hit rock bottom before he will get some help, & I don't know if Im up for the consequences. He will probably have to move home, get some professional help, etc..I am sooooo tired of this drama. Plus, my other son's girlfriend likes to play games with me. We were supposed to have our GS tonight & she wouldn't answer her phone or my texts, so, no grandson tonight. Why can't these kids just take care of themselves like we did? Please pray for my youngest son Brody.
lindajoan
lindajoan
Praying for him. It is true many of our EC will have to reach bottom before they look up and turn around We believe that of our ED.

Please think of what having your son move home would mean for you. Pray first. God will show you what is best for him and you. God bless.
edr1961
edr1961
I am sorry for your sorrow and sadness i wish i could give you some answer of why the kids cant take care of themselves but i know your tired.God give you rest!
whyonlychild
whyonlychild
In another discussion, the subject of phone calls was discussed. The thought seems to be that you can let your machine or service answer the phone and if they leave a message you can pick up or call back I don't know if that is anything that would help your situation.

Unfortunately, our EC do have to hit rock bottom many times before any change can or will be made. Pray and let God lead you as you go day by day and step by step. He will be there to guide you. You will feel Him in your heart as each thing occurs. Follow what He tells you. Are you able to have your son back with you? Is there any way he could be forced into rehab? (I'm sorry but I don't know about things like that)

All I can say is that my heart, thoughts and prayers are with you. God bless and be with you. Prayers and hugs
gordos4
gordos4
whyonlychild, I was told the only way he can be forced to re-hab is if he gets in trouble with the law, i.e. a DUI, or altercation. His old boss told me that Brody came in one day with a black eye & a fat lip, so I assume he got in a fight. He never did tell us about that one. It's hard not to answer the phone, because he isn't drunk every time he calls, but just about. My husband told him flat out today "DO NOT call us when you've been drinking, we don't want to talk to you when you're drunk". I hope he remembers that. I'm weary from all the drama with my kids, I just want to go away somewhere so we wont be around to deal with it. I know, the problems would still be here when we got back. It sure would be nice to have a break. It's been NON STOP since last December...ugh!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Gordos4, I can relate to how you feel about the phone calls, and also the games they play. The truth is, I don't think they are games in their own minds. I think they tell us something such as that we will have the grandchildren, then they simply forget, and then they try to turn it around that they never said it in the first place. I had learned, before the estrangement, to not expect anything until they were here in the flesh. Even then, they usually left quickly. We cannot get inside their heads, so we have to simply go on with our own lives.

In regards to your other son's phone calls, difficult as it may be, I think you should take those calls. He is obviously reaching out to you. My suggestion is that you be there for him. Some have to hit rock bottom, others don't. You never know what God has in store for your son. Often the most rebellious end up being the strongest Christians because they know what they have been saved from. You know… he who is forgiven much loves much……
gordos4
gordos4
CanadianMother, I have only not answered the phone twice, both times because I didn't feel well & didn't feel like talking to anyone. He acknowledges he has a problem & says he is working on it. I have to hold onto the hope & have some faith in him. I just pray to God several times a day to take care of him & my ES. My husband is pretty dismissive about the whole thing, so this is the only place I have to talk about it.