I know what you mean. I'm Canadian as well and I enjoyed our family gathering with my daughter and her family, but I still felt the loss of my ES and his family. I try hard to plan ahead and make sure we are not alone for a holiday. Do you have friends who you can get together with to celebrate special occasions to try and fill the gap? I'm already planning Christmas as best I can. Between estrangement, and family members working different shifts, it can be difficult. I even find ordinary weekends lonely if we don't have something going on with friends. We're entertaining a lot more now. That helps.

I understand how you feel. I dread Christmas. Spend it alone most years. Think my son is going away this year. Never enjoy it. Just glad when it's January 2nd and its all over. It just rubs it in the state of things the way they are. I am sure we are not alone in thinking this way.

To our Canadian friends, Blessed Thanksgiving.

Yes holidays are difficult when our children are estranged or when loved ones have passed including my mother this year. The main thing I must remember is God is good and we have many blessings. Let's pray one for another this holiday season.

We all understand - it is very hard and so unfair. Last year we spent Thanksgiving and Christmas by ourselves despite moving back 1200 miles the year before, at our youngest ED's request, to live closer to them. It was the hardest thing for us to do - that is stand our ground about the horrible treatment we had received from them that whole year. I refused to sit down and have Thanksgiving with liars who remain unrepentant. If we would of caved, it would of been our unspoken approval that they can treat us however they want and they can't - not anymore. After 10 months of silence, the oldest ED finally made a move towards us by inviting us to our grandson's 13th birthday and now we are attending every one of our other grandson's football games every week and we actually sit together. I can still feel the strain of all that remains unsaid but am leaving it up to God to orchestrate all of that. Also, even our oldest ED has acknowledge that due to her sister's toxicity that she doesn't blame us for keeping our distance from her. Baby steps, but some progress. Trying hard not to get ahead of the Lord on this and allowing Him to guide us in His timing. Still so hard because things are still not right and the holidays will soon be here where we will have to decide if we will again choose not to sit down at the same table with someone who lied about us, removed her children from us, and threatened us. It doesn't feel right to me right now.

We dont know how we are going to handle holidays this year,dh said he doesnt want to go to sons home and dh said he doesnt want me to be cooking for everyone either its to much for me and it is{really}even when we go to sons home i have to cook majority of food.Its such a sad time,we get invited only so they wont feel bad.

I dread the holidays too. When October comes I start to feel the pain even more and I don't feel better until Jan. 2. It is just so hard to see the happy families and know I won't have this. I am thankful to be alive but I just pray things could be different.

I struggle with holidays but always have since ES married over 20 yrs ago. The DIL always starts up something and makes things a mess anyway. The ED, her husband is from India so does not care about our holidays and pretty much does the same thing the DIL does. (wish the DIL and SIL would have married each other !)

When the kids were growing up we had so many fun traditions. Always spent time with my family and husbands too. I decorated the house up so pretty. We decorated Christmas cookies together. We never involved the "santa thing" in it though....that takes away the true meaning. We think our ES and ED do the "santa thing" and don't want us around taking away their "new fun' they found. It is so sick how they have grown so far away from the Lord. But they became what they married into. I struggle with even praying for them any more.....let God work out with them....one day they will stand before Him as we all will. They will answer for what they have done to us.

My husband recently sent ES an email saying "if you have no time for us while we are alive, then you will never know when we die, and that is a promise". I don't want them around me when I am grieving they are mean to us and I would rather be alone.