I am a nobody, but I think you need to stick with your husband. I always say keep the communication open because there is hope, and I havent heard from my boy in over 4 years now, so I know that hurts. But I would not think letting your son come between you and your huband is ever a good idea.
What ever you decide I hope works out for you.
(hugs)

Oh Soverysadmom, my heart hurts for you! Truly you are in a tough spot! But my gut (Holy Spirit) tells me to honor the marriage vows first, last, and always, as the scripture says the husband is the final word on decisions....now don't misunderstand me....spent too many years as a brainwashed legalist where they tried to tell me even if husband said to sin, that I must....know better than that, even back then...which is one of biggest reasons I lost my sons....they are still deceived in legalistic cult type church...and for the record here....I do not say denomination because these types of churches are in all of them...so not meaning to offend anyone's denomination here by my statements about legalism! But I have to agree with Paws4it, who gave you good advice! Stick with your husband!

My reason is this, if we always do right by the scriptures, then God always can "work all things together for the good" for all of us! If we sin with our EC, then when reconcililation comes, and it will!!!.....we have given a good testimony to our children and don't have the added complications that our sin against our marriage vows will add to the reconciliation. Keeping the family intact is the highest goal we should strive for. Division of any kind is of the devil...so when you find yourself in a divisive situation...understand it is demonic....can't be from God...division is never God's ways or motive in a family!!

But know this Soverysadmom, whatever you decide to do, we will all gather together with our arms around you and love you through it as the choice is yours to make!!

Heavenly Father, I pray you give your wisdom and discernment to this dear sister in making her decision, while at the same time you cover this entire situation with the blood of Jesus and let Your will be done here! in Jesus Name, Amen!

In Jesus name, Amen!

(hugs)

Dear beloved mother I would tell each one that I choose myself . That: My heart loves each unconditionally and I choose to love each as such . They can hate on each other but not on the mama not on the wife . I would tell them each I choose to forgive my part in any of this and I forgive each of you . I am claiming my joy and my peace and trusting God to deliver both of you to a sane and compassionate place where each can finally forgive . mean time I am already there. waiting on you both and I love you.

I agree to pray!
If it was my situation I would tell my husband that I love them both, but if a son or daughter is willing to try and make a connection, if even with 1 I would meet and find out why. Tell him you won't put up with him trying to get you to speak bad against your husband. You're only there to start reconciliation and to be a mediator between him and your husband since he seems to have some grievence against him. You know your husband best and may be able to understand where the misunderstanding is and give your husband's view.
If you can't meet in person have him write out what he wanted to say and both you and your husband look at it

Thank you all for these encouraging words of wisdom. I needed it.

Just pray and see what your insides or Holy Spirit tells you. You will know which feels right and which feels wrong. I probably would want to see my son so much that I'm not sure what I would do. But I think my heart would probably tell me that my DH is always at my side whereas my ES changes like the wind and just makes impossible demands. Pray. May God show you His way.

Sovery, It is encouraging that your ES still wants to meet with you. However, I do believe that to do so apart from your DH would not be the way of the Lord. If DH would give you his blessing then it would be different. This is between you and the Lord. We are here for you.

Savery, I agree with lindajoan. God will guide you but also ask God to work with your DH and your ES. I decided that my DH came first and I kept praying for 7 years. Just in the last few months our ES has reconnected with us.

I'm sorry this is happening with your ES. Keep praying, it's the only answer I have. I keep getting discouraged too, but know that praying is the only answer, but still I wait!

let us know what happens , we love and support you

I would agree to see your son and if you can work things out with him that would be great. I would make it clear to both though that I wouldn't take sides wiht one against the other and if one is treating the other badly tell that one so. You are in a tough spot and I really hope it all works out for you, your husband and your son.

Well I guess his wife found out and he will not answer my email now. It was parent weekend at his Bible college this weekend. Of course we were not invited.

soverysadmom, I'm so sorry for your pain. How ironic that it was parent weekend at his Bible college. You are in such a tough situation, and everyone has their view, experience and protection mechanisms. Have you considered seeing a Christian counselor? They are so good at helping you sort through these things. Some big churches offer free or discounted sessions.

Keep praying... the waiting to me is always the hardest part. Hang in there.

((((( BIG BIG HUGS)))) soverysadmom!!! (((((HUGS)))))