I have also been pondering calling my son, who has had nothing to do with DH and me in over 6 years. I thought maybe if he heard my voice, he might find it in his heart to reunite. I have been asking God to let me know if I should call or not.

I think God has answered my prayer through you. That is probably the same scenario we would experience. And I am fearful of another rejection.

God knows these EC's hearts. We must pray and wait. Sending you hugs; know you are not alone in this painful experience

Thank you Norske1. Prayers for you.

I read your post to my DH and told him I thought your post was God speaking to me because I have been waiting for God to tell me if I should call my son. My husband agreed with the post being a sign from God and he said I should not call our ES.

If it were a simple matter of picking up the phone, I would pick it up a thousand times to be with my daughter again. At this point, I have no pride. If things cannot return to normal, I would at least like to know why. How can it mean nothing to them that you gave everything you had to them and still would? Now that she is in her 30s, can she not see that her mother (my ex), did everything possible to poison her against me? She and my ex hated my mother for 30 years (for good reason, I might add); why does she now seek my mother out like they are close friends? Is it just to talk about how horrible a person I am? I have many questions but I am perfectly willing to keep my mouth shut just to have a relationship with my daughter again. Even a superficial relationship will do. For true meaning, I look to God. Only He can know what is in her heart and what she needs to do to have peace.

Be careful what you wish for. My H and I wanted anything and so we Made it happen. Wait for Gods timing. The superficial, meaningless, degrading relationship can and did in our case, take you down to a level beneath the floor. For us, we had to let go.

Oh, it would be so nice to talk to my son. However, that is not what he is right now. I have no desire to talk to the person who calls me names and lies about how he was treated growing up. I pray that God will get back in his heart and show him that the world does not have to be full of hate and disrespect. Even if I am not a part of his life ever again, I still wish for him to be as good as he is capable. I know I cannot change him and have prayers for God to do His work.

Littlemom and wearyofitall, I think you both have it figured out quite well. there are limits, or as my therapist would put it, boundaries, that everyone should have and that must be respected. May the love of the Christmas season be with you all. --EJ

Little mom you just spoke my heart.

I think you're right Littlemom. There was a time until very recently that I wanted to have peace so badly with my ED no matter what. I thought that peace was God's way and we should almost be willing to playba victim role to gain that peace if need be. I don't see that as what Jesus would do or does any longer. Yes He was the world's greatest peacemaker and it cost Him everything but those He offered peace and a relationship to had to accept it gratefully and lovingly. Of course He would never close the door but He does not force anyone. Is that what our EC are to do with our offer of love and peace and a relationship to us as their parent? I believe so.