My experience is that it was my firstborn who was the one who was wild and in trouble alot and who got angry with me for just being a mother at times. He is in his mid thirties now and we have a good relationship. Then nearly a year ago, my daughter and her bf were living with us and her few month old, i LOVED having my little grandchild here, he was such a delight. I had told my daugher ALB that I felt like the most blessed woman alive having both she and the baby here. Then I got seriously ill, with a heart attack and congestive heart failure. Only a few days after I got out of the hospital, still barely able to walk across a room; she told me there were moving to bf's parents' in less than a week. I was shocked..... I asked questions of course, but the answers I got were so far fetched....I could tell it was excuses. I didn't say anything else really. Then two days laters her bf ALL OF A SUDDEN copped an attitude and said they were leaving right that minute. He even called the cops saying "he feared for his life". When they left, she told me after she got all her belongings I was "no longer her mother". We had a couple confrontations about the times they got their belongings, but they got them all. Whatever she left here she told me to do whatever I wanted with it. So far it's still down in our basement. She blocked us on facebook, so I blocked her also but my reason was because she took offense at almost everything I wrote. Most of the time it was not anything that possibly be offensive in any way. I had the support of all my loved ones through this. During one phone call preceding a trip to get the rest of their belongings, she told me she hated me with every fiber of her being. That was the last we heard from her and she was pregnant when she moved out and has since had another baby, (13 months apart are her two) which we have never seen. A famly friend from another state was copying pics of her newborn from FB and sending the to both myself and my brother and my daughter blocked her too on FB. Wow, huh? This is such a shock for me, as the gifts and words she spoke and wrote for the past 5 years were "my mom is more than my mother, she is my best friend." Now, nothing. What do I think about this? It is true my husband and I don't like her bf at all, but we never treated him with anything but respect and love while he lived here. He made al sorts of false accusations the day he called the cops, and I told the cops the truths: he didn't work, didn't help wtih the baby, was very critical always, didn't take care of his dog, quit every job he ever got, couldn't get along with people, was antisocial, and now with the move to his parents was alienating my daughter from her friends, family, and life in particular. I was honest, because he would not suppport his family we were buying diapers and dog food.
I had to go into counseling because this was so devastating to me. The timing was bad, being so soon after I had my heart attack and diagnosis of CHF another life long health condition to add to my list of disabling things........ This came as they moved in only a month after my husband nearly died from Legionnaires' Disease and spent a month in the hospital fighting for life. Too much all at once I suppose for me to take.
It's nearly a year now, and my heart still breaks. I had sent her baby clothes for the newborn, and a gift card for the one year old on his birthday. Nothing. I tried emailing, texting, calling (she has since blocked my number from calling her). What do I do? Do I still bang my head against the wall by trying to contact her? Or do I let it alone and see how it comes out......... I told her at one point i was sorry I hurt her. But she was not receptive. And truthfully, I don't feel I did anything to apologize for.
One year priior to all of this, we had words because she had lied to me about having a brain tumor. My husband and I dished out ALOT of money to be sure she had good insurance coverage to treat it. Turns out there wasn't one, and of course the mother in me confronted her. She still has yet to deny or confirm it to us........
I am at a loss here......... Help?
I had forgotten that she during a phone call after the move out, she told me on the phone that she "hated me with every fiber of her being. She left alot of photos here and childhood things such as stuffed animals, and a huge tote full of Barbies and accessories........ But she DID take the dollhouse her biological father built for her when she was 2 years old......... and a doll cradle he built when she was 2 or 3. He hasn't been much in the picture since her early childhood. But I know she now has contact with him and has taken both grandchildren to see him. I am going to post my latest email to her, only a few months after my last attempts to contact her during which time she has NOT responded. She blocked us on FB, and went so far as to block my phone number from reaching her phone number. Prior to that I had made calls and sent texts of apology and love for her and when she was ready I was here to talk with her.