I understand ..sometimes we get down ...stay strong ...The Lord knows your Pain x

We need Jesus every moment. He wants you to live. Praying.

barbyzhere, the blues are normal for everyone occasionally, and we're dealing with the estrangement of a child.
But....our main purpose in life is to Honor God, and to remember that He has all things in His control. Pray for His peace that surpasses all understanding. I do that every single day. I will keep you in prayer.......

Sometimes pain meds can cause depression too....I have found that out when I had surgery.

Take care of yourself and know that God did create you for a purpose and He loves you more than you know !

((hugs to you))

Yes, Bella! Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you....plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.

Barbyz, I've looked into that abyss before...where is the meaning and purpose when we feel like we're suffering so unbearably? Please don't do anything foolish, when I honestly looked down into that abyss, I saw the legacy I would be leaving and realized that I don't want to leave that to my children, whether we are estranged or close. There will come a day that they will realize what they have lost as far as lost time, lost relationships, and lost memories. Then they will have to come to terms with that on their own. I know you're a good mother, otherwise you wouldn't be on this board and want the relationship back you are estranged from. Please realize, this is the enemy's way to ultimately crush your life and your childrens if you give up thinking you have no reason to go on. Continue to be a good mom, and live your life according to the purpose God made you....find it and live it and believe it that you are here for a reason, and you can still be a good mom and connected to your children by living a life of purpose and faith and praying for them. They still need you, they don't know it, they need you to demonstrate faith, and they need your prayers. There's a movie coming out the end of August called The War Room...make a point of going to see it. Blessings to you....also there is a book called Leota's Garden by Francine Rivers. A Christian author. It's a faith based fiction story of a mothers estrangement from her children.

Please reply back here soon.....

I have been looking forward to the movie War Room.

I'm doing better tonight. Someone must have been praying. Thank you. I didn't mean that I was thinking of harming myself. I wouldn't do that to my husband or family or friends. We've been through that with a 19 year old in the family and I know what kind of pain that inflicts on everyone left behind. Sometimes I just wish I weren't here anymore. Today I felt blindsided, like I was in a wave pool and got hit hard. I don't know why it happened today. We're in a very slow tedious baby step process of communicating with our ES. It's stressful.
Maybe I need a little chemical assistance temporarily.
I will look for the movie War Room and I'll hunt for the Francine Rivers book. Thank you for the suggestions. And thank you for caring.

"Expectations are the root of all unhappiness". I read that recently. I guess it's true, whether it's expectations of what life, family, or God are going to provide me with to meet my needs.
What do you think of that quote?

I am so glad you are feeling better. We do all care and you can lean on us for support. That is why we are here!

Barbyz, We are thankful felt the prayer and support. I think expectations can become harmful. We can never count on the reactions of our EC we can only count on God's faithfulness to us.

God bless you today.

I sincerely love you all.

Sending love back to you and each dear one in this group.

Glad you're feeling better. In regards to your quote, barby, I've heard that one before and I would say there is a grain of truth to it, but it would be very difficult to live life free of any expectations. We expect certain behaviours from people, including our children. In my opinion, to not have any expectations would tell the other person we don't think very highly of them, and therefore expect them to live below an acceptable standard of behaviour.