I am so sorry your son treated your DH this way. God bless your DH for his efforts. I know how much you love and miss your gs. In estrangement we all try to make peace and talk sense into our EC. We do all we humanly can. Then I believe it comes to the place where we must pray that God will change their hearts. Only He can. We need His amazing grace to accept this very difficult journey. God be with you and DH. You do not deserve this. None of us do. The Lord will never fail us.

I am so sorry for your deep deep pain. I want to contact our son, yet feel God is saying not yet… I keep waiting for His whisper…I read today a quote from Pastor Andrew Murray, he wrote during a time of great suffering, he wrote it to help someone else, even though he himself was in great pain…I pray it brings you some comfort as it brought me….

"First - God brought me here. It is by His will I am in this strait place. In that I will rest.
Next- He will keep me in His love and give me grace in this trail to behave as His child.
Then - He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me lessons He intends me to learn, and working in me the grace He means to bestow.
Last- In His good time He can bring me out again-how and when He knows.
I am here-by God's appointment, in His keeping, under His training, for His time."
It accompanies the scripture " Psalm31:15 My times are in your hands."

I can only find comfort in prayer, I can only find comfort when I pray, for when my heart stops praying, my mind and heart hurts so deeply for my son and 3 grandchildren. I have a war room and I go there to give all of me to Him, and to know I must wait upon Him, and it is my son who must make the choice to step back to Christ. I find rest when I leave my special place… May God Bless you both with peace until He delivers your family whole once again, in His time, His way, which will bring great Blessings. I am praying for all in our Group.

Thank you for all the support,I sure hope i dont become annoying person,i take everyones advice to heart,we have to sit back and let God handle it,Its just makes me feel so sick to think son/dil watched as my dh walked away with his cane that he needs to support himself and thatthey had no remorse WOW we would never do that even to them,My dh said he is very hurt,but feels content he said something just told him to go.

Your DH did show courage. I can not imagine watching him walk away with a cane. I hope when your son thinks about it he becomes remorseful. He would not want his son to treat him that way one day.

i have thought about writing my son,but the hurt will continue to go back and forth,i am not one to hold my tongue.I dont liketo admit it but i can be nasty as he said,i have a way with words that are nice/nasty,but i wont let him treat us this way anymore and i will run my mouth and make it worse,and when it really comes down to it, all of this is the way they allow there dogs come before there son,brand new home,and the constant lies they have told us,and the mental,financial,emotional abuse they put us through,and the way my dil isand my son working so much.

Be careful EDR ... your words could be used against you when they go to get a restraining order against you. My daughter called the police on me and my sister when we went to their door to check on her when she went silent. Two old ladies ... and me disabled ... but they were home, didn't answer the door and called the police stating (lying) that they 'feared for their lives' ....
Since then I have read many many stories similar ... even EC websites where they have even written the 'playbook' of how to estrange ... it includes using the law meant for stalkers and criminals against their own parents to keep them away from themselves and the grandkids. It is disgraceful, but it is the way it is. My daughter via the police threatened a restraining order ... we were blindsided ... last we saw her she said she loved us after we had dinner with them ... no words, no nothing ... then she went silent ... we were concerned and went looking for her ... the first time we knocked at her door, my sister softly saying, honey, are you okay ... the police came up accusing us of stalking her and harrassing her day and night ... never happened....

This can happen to you too ... be careful .... They really want nothing to do with you. Believe them when they tell you that ... you can't make them let you see the grandchild. They get some kind of sick pleasure from using the grandkids as pawns.

I'm so sorry. I just don't want it to get to the point where they call the police on you or take out a restraining order. For whatever reason they feel entitled to do this dispicable thing ... it reminds me of the Nazis turning in their own parents ... but make no mistake, the threat is very real.

edr, I've been in your DH's shoes. When my ED first estranged, I would go their apartment, see their car, and ring the doorbell. I was completely ignored multiple times. I would leave presents for my GC or my daughter at the door, and would never hear whether they even opened the packages.

I agree with difficult, our EC's are not emotionally healthy, and receive a sick thrill by "controlling" us. I would be careful about future visits, or sending emails. They may claim you're harassing them.

bcarelady, Pastor Murrays writing is lovely. Thankyou for sharing.....

thank you all, honestly it never crossed my mind of those situations except when we would tryto contact son at work.You all have made me look at this ordeal with a different vision, what would it look like 2 disabled people arrested lol,wow who would we call to get us out? No one! we dont even have a speeding ticket. Im going to lay low,mind my buisness, but im so hurt. Thank you all for opening my eyes,God Bless You

Thank you Sommersmom. It helped me when I read it, and I want to uplift and encourage any who travel this road we travel… I was truly unaware of the epidemic proportions of estranged children and hurting abandoned parents.

At Church today, the sermon was on the Prodigal Son. I felt it so deeply as if God was letting me know that my son must return to Him first, before he will have a desire to reunite with us, his family. With Christ truly in their life, our children will return, that remains my prayer first and foremost… My son and DIL salvation, stepping back to Christ, away from the world they have chosen. I pray that for all of us…
My war room continues to give me courage and strength, yet I have much more to seek and learn. I was thinking what is God 'teaching' my son in this process, then I realized, what is God teaching me in this process.. I close in prayer for all of us and our children.