I am so sorry for your pain. Hoping you have a blessed mini vacation with your friends.

I just wanted to send you a rainbow to try and brighten your day up. Try to focus on today and only today. I know what it is like to struggle with being down in valleys over this estrangement. I know it's hard but with Christ all things are possible.

Prayers that God will comfort, encourage, and sustain you during these trials that can be filled with pain and sorrow. Reading some of the Psalms of Praise to our Lord also helps to lift the heart. May God be with you and lift your spirit. God Bless!

What a tough day to go through, but you made it. Try to find the positives: you get to see and be part of your granddaughter's graduation, God's with you and won't let you go, you have friends, you're going on a wonderful vacation and have fun... (you fill in the rest). While you're on vacation put your EDs "on a shelf" and just enjoy your time. Praying that things get better for you and the rest of us.

It is heartbreaking but you did the right thing for your granddaughter. God is with you and will see you through. Don't let the memories of that event ruin your mini vacation. Go enjoy yourself you get a Big Pat On The Back from me and a super BIG HUG!!

Thank you all. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow, maybe even this evening. Hugs to you.

I just read your note, lagayle59. I was thinking how brave you were, to set aside your tears for your granddaughter. And how you focused on her and not your two EDs. God lifts you up and is smiling on you.

I agree - go and enjoy a wonderful little vacation with your friend.

I found today that I was very busy. I took a friend to my morning exercise class, her husband was here helping my husband finish off the basement, so we came back and I made lunch for everyone, then she left and I did laundry, made a couple of cards and all of a sudden it was 3:30. I hadn't thought about my ES once! I think this is a first.

Keep busy, enjoy your time away and focus on YOU You are a beautiful person and God made you perfect. He made your daughters perfect as well, and he gave everyone free will. It is what they have done with their free will that is making God sad, along with you.

You are in my prayers.

No bravery here, just wanted granddaughter to know how very proud of her I am, but thank you so much. I think seeing them makes things worse for me anyway, it just makes me very sad. That things have turned out as they have. Yes I plan on having a very good time on my mini vacation. God bless you.{{hugs}}

I HAVE TO ADD THIS: I have an old friend who has had to walk away from her two children also, after many, many years of dealing with any and everything. We recently talked and she told me she was as happy as she has ever been, because they are not dragging her down all the time. I just got an email from her as I had emailed her this morning. She replied: " Well, I'm pretty much there, but I had to chew the umbilical cord in to; there was no cutting it and getting it over with for me". Anyway, my laugh for the day may make some of you laugh too! Thank you Lord for my friend and all these terrific people here that understand. I am not alone!!!

Have a wonderful mini-vacation. There are many blessings. Our chiefest blessing is that we have the Lord to see us through these trials. God bless.

I think my middle name is stupid!! A short while ago I got an email from my oldest daughter. It said that she always wanted me in her life but had been hurt by something I had done and went on to tell me it humiliated her, and that she had done nothing and didn't understand and what was wrong. Goofy here wrote her that what I did was not done as she interpreted it and I explained myself. I then told her that she had not been faultless, that the two of us had a part in this estrangement. So saying that she had done nothing is not true.her note was short; mine was longer. I just got a note back that said "I am over all that, drama, drama, drama and that it just wears her out!" She did not want anything more than to see if I would still try and I fell for it. I am an extremely slow learner I suppose!! But it revealed more of the game, and that as long as I play I will always be hurt and left feeling stupid!! Please pray for my stupidity. I changed my email the other day but my grand baby asked me if I wanted her to send me some of the pictures from the graduation party and not wanting to involve her in any of this I gave it to her, so I know how she got it in the first place. I feel much better, anger is a really good picker upper.

lagayle....I truely do not see you as being stupid at all!! I give you credit for trying to resolve things with your ED.

I'm truly sorry things did not work out for you but I am glad that you have tried.

Even though it did not work out well this time, in the end, what is worse? Failing, or not trying at all? Which is going to leave you with regret? Which is going to have you wishing you would have tried harder or kept going instead of giving up? Which is going to get you to where you want to go? If you never try, or try and give up quickly, you will have regret down the road.

Romans 12:18......"I'm truly sorry things did not work out for you but I am glad that you have tried.

Even though it did not work out well this time, in the end, what is worse? Failing, or not trying at all? Which is going to leave you with regret? Which is going to have you wishing you would have tried harder or kept going instead of giving up? Which is going to get you to where you want to go? If you never try, or try and give up quickly, you will have regret down the road.

Now I'm not saying there is never a time to let something go so you can move on to something else, but we do it far too often and too quickly, and bounce from one thing to the next in search of something that will get us to our desired result. Don't quit. Most importantly, make sure you are at least out there trying. If you fail while trying, you can deal with it. Get up and get going and try again until you are told not to or when you get to the point that persistence is causing more harm than good. Right now, it does not seem as though you are at that point though - maybe getting close though.

Did we not tell our kids that failure is our best teacher? Did we not tell them that trying won't kill you and that it is through the trying that makes one stronger? Even if you fail, at least you know you gave it your all (you did, right?) and you don't have to face the regret of not having tried at all. Even if it doesn't work out as you planned, it is better than looking back and not knowing what you could have done but will never know because you didn't try.

Have you thought of trying a Christian mediator, pastor or Christian counselor? Perhaps that would be a good avenue to try while she is still trying to reach out to you.

Romans 12:18......"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."


Now I'm not saying there is never a time to let something go so you can move on to something else, but we do it far too often and too quickly, and bounce from one thing to the next in search of something that will get us to our desired result. Don't quit. Most importantly, make sure you are at least out there trying. If you fail while trying, you can deal with it. Get up and get going and try again until you are told not to or when you get to the point that persistence is causing more harm than good. Right now, it does not seem as though you are at that point though - maybe getting close though.

Did we not tell our kids that failure is our best teacher? Did we not tell them that trying won't kill you and that it is through the trying that makes one stronger? Even if you fail, at least you know you gave it your all (you did, right?) and you don't have to face the regret of not having tried at all. Even if it doesn't work out as you planned, it is better than looking back and not knowing what you could have done but will never know because you didn't try.

Have you thought of trying a Christian mediator, pastor or Christian counselor? Perhaps that would be a good avenue to try while she is still trying to reach out to you.

lagayle....I truely do not see you as being stupid at all!! I give you credit for trying to resolve things with your ED.

I'm truly sorry things did not work out for you but I am glad that you have tried.

Even though it did not work out well this time, in the end, what is worse? Failing, or not trying at all? Which is going to leave you with regret? Which is going to have you wishing you would have tried harder or kept going instead of giving up? Which is going to get you to where you want to go? If you never try, or try and give up quickly, you will have regret down the road.

Romans 12:18......"I'm truly sorry things did not work out for you but I am glad that you have tried.

Even though it did not work out well this time, in the end, what is worse? Failing, or not trying at all? Which is going to leave you with regret? Which is going to have you wishing you would have tried harder or kept going instead of giving up? Which is going to get you to where you want to go? If you never try, or try and give up quickly, you will have regret down the road.

Now I'm not saying there is never a time to let something go so you can move on to something else, but we do it far too often and too quickly, and bounce from one thing to the next in search of something that will get us to our desired result. Don't quit. Most importantly, make sure you are at least out there trying. If you fail while trying, you can deal with it. Get up and get going and try again until you are told not to or when you get to the point that persistence is causing more harm than good. Right now, it does not seem as though you are at that point though - maybe getting close though.

Did we not tell our kids that failure is our best teacher? Did we not tell them that trying won't kill you and that it is through the trying that makes one stronger? Even if you fail, at least you know you gave it your all (you did, right?) and you don't have to face the regret of not having tried at all. Even if it doesn't work out as you planned, it is better than looking back and not knowing what you could have done but will never know because you didn't try.

Have you thought of trying a Christian mediator, pastor or Christian counselor? Perhaps that would be a good avenue to try while she is still trying to reach out to you.

Romans 12:18......"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

lagayle....I truely do not see you as being stupid at all!! I give you credit for trying to resolve things with your ED.

I'm truly sorry things did not work out for you but I am glad that you have tried.

Even though it did not work out well this time, in the end, what is worse? Failing, or not trying at all? Which is going to leave you with regret? Which is going to have you wishing you would have tried harder or kept going instead of giving up? Which is going to get you to where you want to go? If you never try, or try and give up quickly, you will have regret down the road.

Now I'm not saying there is never a time to let something go so you can move on to something else, but we do it far too often and too quickly, and bounce from one thing to the next in search of something that will get us to our desired result. Don't quit. Most importantly, make sure you are at least out there trying. If you fail while trying, you can deal with it. Get up and get going and try again until you are told not to or when you get to the point that persistence is causing more harm than good. Right now, it does not seem as though you are at that point though - maybe getting close though.

Did we not tell our kids that failure is our best teacher? Did we not tell them that trying won't kill you and that it is through the trying that makes one stronger? Even if you fail, at least you know you gave it your all (you did, right?) and you don't have to face the regret of not having tried at all. Even if it doesn't work out as you planned, it is better than looking back and not knowing what you could have done but will never know because you didn't try.

Have you thought of trying a Christian mediator, pastor or Christian counselor? Perhaps that would be a good avenue to try while she is still trying to reach out to you.

Romans 12:18......"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

Dear GurlsMom, My youngest daughter and I went to a counsellor at my insistance long ago. She went once and would not go again. My oldest will not go at all - absolutely will not go, so that is not an option. I am done begging for crumbs or for them to go with me. They do not want to work this out. This battle has been going on for almost 25 years, And I am done trying now. I have left no stone unturned, nothing undone to try and build a relationship with them, but unless I give everything and they get everything without ever being asked to even respect me, I am out in the cold again. I have done that too, never saying anything even after having been called names, stolen from, lied to, etc. until I cannot do it any longer. I have lost all self respect and dignity by bowing so low because they are my children and I so want them in my life. I was a good mother, in their good moments with me, they tell me that although I was not perfect, they wish they put as much into mothering their children as I put into mothering them. I do not know where the mistakes were. I have searched for many years for answers, and now I have to let them go. I fall into their traps easily, because I love them so much,but I do believe you can love too much. I am now ready to take back my life, live the rest of it in peace without all the drama and hatefulness they bring to this relationship. They're favorite thing to say is "I have done NOTHING to you". When I remind them that relationships are not made in solitude, but take more than one person then I am blamed for anything and everything that has ever gone wrong in their lives, literally everything. So I am done now. I have good friends who have no children and they are happy. I believe I can unload this burden now and move on. All I get from them is grief, and I am very, very tired. They were brought up in church, taught about God since they were very small. I have wondered so much what I did wrong, and I have kicked myself for years for whatever it was I did or didn't do to make them like this toward me, but I am done with that also,. I did the best I could, all I knew to do, and I cannot do anymore. Today I am happy. I tried for my last time when she sent the email last night, it is always something I have done and I try to explain and always say that I am sorry, sometimes they cannot even tell me what it is that I have done. They like the cat and mouse game and I am done playing. Thank you for your words, but in my heart, and I thought I would never say this, I KNOW I cannot do anymore and maintain any self respect and dignity. I have given it to them many times, but I am keeping it this time. I have Desiderata hanging on my wall, so I know well the live at peace with everyone. We can, but not at the price we must pay sometimes. And I know that God does not intend for me to keep taking their abuse. I must live at peace with myself also.

lagayle, you did your best and God was watching. That's all He expects from you. It's very uneasy and difficult to place yourself in these types of social functions, but you did it with grace and your granddaughter will not forget it. I pray she will invite you to her graduation exercises and your younger ED has the decency to keep away and silent long enough for you to enjoy a short memorable occasion. If things get too uncomfortable and heated, then you will know when it's time to exit so you won't totally fall apart. I pray for a miracle where you can truly enjoy this upcoming occasion. I also pray your mini-vacation will be a time of refreshment where God will calm your nerves and you can relax and enjoy good times with friends. Keep distracted with various things in the future to help the time pass so painful thoughts don't flood your mind and upset your heart. Oh how I know how this happens to me! Then I get busy with something to help get me out of that defeating negative mode.