I appreciate this group so much, as no one who hasn't experienced estrangement can really grasp the devastation of it. I haven't written for a while, as I just sometimes don't want to think about it all. My younger ES contacted me out of the blue 9/3/15, and asked if we were going to be around after Christmas. Said "I know it's been a long time, and I don't want it to stay this way." Said they were flying from San Diego to Atlanta (where I live) on their way to visit my mother in Asheville, NC, on 12/26, and asked if we would be around for them to visit 12/29-12/30. I responded we'd love to see them, and that I would love to talk with him, skype, etc. (Past experience is he never calls back and won't talk unless he calls me). He responded OK, will book tickets. Will call soon. 3 weeks went by, so I asked about details of plans and asked him to call me, several weeks went by before he responded that very busy, out of town, would have wife email details. A couple of more weeks went by before getting email from her detailing every minute of plans with mymother and aunt (visit Biltmore House, Grove Park Inn, see carolers, ride Mtn Railroad, etc.), then suggesting long list of what 6 yr old and almost 3 yr old girls like to do: bake cookies, do crafts, have tea parties, visit science museum, etc. during the 2 days they will be with me. Said we were invited to Asehville, but they will be staying with my brother and his wife at my mother's house (my mother in assisted living due to limited vision) and have already planned all activities with my brother and his wife. I wrote back, said would plan some fun things while they are here, and also that would love to skype, talk with them and girls, and see some photos, and would love their new address so could send some things for the girls. (they moved to San Diego from San Francisco in June but hadn't sent me address). She responded with a few photos, said my son had been out of town for 3 weekends in a row, and that the girls had everything they needed, so not to send anything. Said for me not to feel back, had told her mother the same thing, and didn't want to deprive me "of any grandmotherly joy." (Still nothing from my son). Sent cute book to them (a sequel to a book they loved when I saw them last), but heard nothing. Emailed them also saying they were welcome to stay first night here on their way to Asheville. Got letter from DIL and granddaughter via mail 2 weeks later, thanking me for book but they donated it to library because they already had it..... (Am I wrong or is that bad manners??? could have just said loved the story, and thanks so much for gift, and I would never have know they donated the one thing I have been able to send them in a long time). Also said that since staying first night on arrival in Atlanta with me, will now just stay one night less with me and spend last night in airport hotel "to use up expiring hotel points for a really nice upgrade." Still nothing from my son. He is not acting like he "doesn't want it to stay this way." Hurt and angry about having sent a gift and had it rebuffed. Guess I should have listened to DIL and sent nothing - just figured book was small token of something for granddaughters. Still no phone calls, skype, contact from son. Was excited but now dreading visit. Sometimes easier when there is no contact than this jerking around. Can anyone relate?