CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group

Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...

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MariaStevie 10/27/2011

Do any of you listen to Christian talk radio "Hope in the Night" with June Hunt? Last night, she had a caller on whose mother rejected her all her life and the caller was wanting reconciliation. Isn't that ironic for us on this site?

Anyway, June Hunt advised that bibically, if we have done all that we could to reconcile with someone and they reject our efforts, we are not out of God's will. We are not to blame. In fact, she said that the other person is the one who is out of God's will.

Reconciliation takes two.

GuelsMom 10/27/2011

Isn't that interesting Maria? The shoe is on the other foot. I agree 100% with the advice that she gave for what we know of the story. There may be extenuating circumstances as to why the mother rejected her - drugs, alcohol, abuse - whatever. The mother might have been putting up boundaries while the daughter saw it as rejection. Hmmm! Now the thought just came as I typed that - "What if our kids see our "boundaries" as rejection? Perhaps, they are feeling betrayed and abandon for what they perceive as "minor infractions?" I'm not referring specifically to anyone - the thought just hit me and I'm rambling on so I guess I'll stop and hit the "submit button." LOL

But, yes, I definitely think reconciliation take two - three with God's help.

deleted_user 10/28/2011

I AGREE

ROGER EDWARDS

MariaStevie 10/29/2011

I think in the case of our estranged children, they chose to estrange. By setting boundaries and respecting ourselves in response to their choice to estrange, we are not abandoning them or rejecting them. We love them and they know that. We want reconciliation and we've done all we could on our part.

bluemoonlight 10/30/2011

The "who CHOSE estrangement from whom?" issue is interesting. I wonder how many of our estranged children believe that WE are the ones who chose to estrange them?

When a driver speeds knowing the consequences, and then gets a ticket, isn't he CHOOSING to get the ticket? In the same way, when an adult child lies, slanders and persecutes their parent, aren't THEY choosing the estrangement?

Guels, you raise a very good point about perceptions. Misunderstandment can cause a lot of grief and conflict. I believe the boundaries my dh and I have set do offend our ED. Similar to the offence caused by David every time he dodged Saul's javelin.

Guels, what you said is so true, Guels - "Reconciliation takes two - three with God's help". Amen!

-Blue

bluemoonlight 10/30/2011

Oh boy...misunderstandment? These are times I'd like an edit feature. Umm, I meant misunderstanding. :)

LoveMichael 11/04/2011

I like the word misunderstandment!

GuelsMom 11/04/2011

LoveMichael....LOL ok, you get to create the ddfinition of "misunderstatement." I think that CAN easily be applied to estrangement don't you? Sounds good to me, I'll use it!

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