So glad you are here. I applaud you for taking on the challenges of starting over. Always remember that God is with you, walking beside you, and when the walk gets hard, as being overwhelmed today, there will only be one set of footprints because He will be carrying you.

We are thankful you found us here. We are here to support you and help one another. I am sorry for your losses. It is difficult to go through loss and estrangement. Estrangement is due to sad choices our EC have made usually as is the case with our ED.

Do you have a church group that is supportive? That often becomes like a small family.

God bless you.

We all, at one time or another, feel the way you are right now. It truly stinks, & is the hardest pain to endure-rejection from your own son/daughter. Keep praying, it really does help.

Stephanie, I thank you for trusting us enough to bring vent your feelings freely. There are women here who have also walked away from abusive spouses in their lives. While ending a relationship is never easy, it is usually accompanied by considerable confusion and pain - it does not come close to that which we experience with our EC's, IMO. Those other relationships usually come to a complete end at some point.

However, our relationships with our kids are so much more complicated than any other relationship. There is no way to cut the physical tie because they are our children. There is no closure with our EC's. We have to deal with guilt, anger, fear, grief and so much more than any other relationship. For me all of those feelings are so enmeshed that it is almost impossible to deal with them individually. The physical tie makes it all the more convoluted to deal with - because, IMO, it is all so intertwined. No wonder it is so hard to understand our feelings.

I am glad that you are at least near your boys because if communication happens in the future, being close does help the situation. DH and I have no other family to turn to when one of us goes. Our son lives about 700 miles from us and I don't think he will bother to even come to the funerals let alone want the survivor in the same state. Sad, so sad.

This is the hardest thing we will ever have to do and we are doing such a good job of supporting each other through this almost impossible time in our lives but we get through it by doing as scripture says..."bearing one another's burdens." I think we mothers and fathers of EC's have the most difficult job in the world and we should give ourselves huge credit for hanging in with our kids and trying to work through these issues because they will be our children for as long as we live.
Hang in there and we will hang in there with you! ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))

Stephanies32, I am also glad you found your way here. I find it hard to move forward in my life also. As I am estranged from daughter and grand daughter. I take it one day at a time, and try to keep my mind busy. I know that God has a plan, and that gives me hope that one day we will be reconciled. He has to do his work in her heart and I have to learn to be patient. You will find comfort here. As I read what these lovely ladies and gentlemen post everyday.

Yes I agree with my friends above. we are all lost on the Black Ocean of despair but at least we are in the same boat aren't we ladies. it is really not nice to have no one. At least i have my furry children & they are really really good at unconditional love. My big guy isn't feeling very well these days I should have called him Teddy because he is my Teddy Bear at night. If you can get a pet that would really help Stephanie. I remember when my son was suppose to come home for Easter one year & I heard nothing till Mother's Day but i had a beautiful Dali at the time & she sent an hour one day lisking my tears then when I went into the bathroom to wash my face I realized she had licked the top layer of skin off with her tongue LOL she was such a good dog she went to Rainbow Bridge 4 years ago last Oct. & I still miss her. I don't think kids can love like that. when I was working on the street last year a guy came up to the "Visitation Station" as we called it & said "say do you know that God spelled backwards is actually dog" & I said to him "Why do you think they say a DOG is man's best friend?" I really miss being on the street i see the guys & ask how they r doing but we don't sit down & talk like we use to when we were outside the church. i guess they don't feel comfortable like they did when we had chairs for them to sit down on - it was easier for them to open up. And all the time my kids were growing up & I WAS THE FAMILY OUTCAST God was training me to reach out to the homeless men on the street so you see God is always in control love martha

Came across this tonight & thought we was very appropriate for US.
“YOU were given this life Because You are STRONG ENOUGH to live it”
Good night all martha

martha - that is so right and as something I read once said "God will not give you more than you can handle but why does he have to trust me so much".

At our mothers' prayer group earlier this week, the leader said that first and foremost we need to realize that we are not to allow the sinful thoughts that it was our fault get into our minds. It was not our fault; our children were given free will as we were and they are being attacked by Satan.

That's why we must lay our EC at His feet in prayer.

We go through life's sorrows and trouble so we can find out that we can not live this life alone. Amen? In our weakness He will be our strength.

The enemy would love to have us believe his lies of guilt. True Norske, that is not of Jesus.

Stephi: Im sorry for the down days,, I know too much about those.. we all take it a day at a time. There are days Im immobilized too, and yes it feels like and I think it is selfsabotaging,, Satan is a liar.. as for the holidays.. I too am alone , I think there needs to be a "holiday" where those of us alone should get togethor and celebrate, we need ea other to get thru and we should celebrate life...