CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...
My DH and myself wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving, i know alot of us will have a hard time and i pray for all of us.We will get through it.I am making a small little dinner for just me and dh,plan to stay home.My dh said he doesnt want to talk with anyone tomarrow so he is making his calls today and of course everyone asks "are you going to your childrens home for dinner" and of course we just agree with what ever they say,and change the subject.We are so ashamed of how things have turned out with our family.God Bless You All!
Our 1/2 kid siding with the ED has a huuuuuge beauty salon, voted best in a major southern city. When her husband had leukemia the 2nd time, my DH suggested we fund her and it's in a huge antebellum type Civil War mansion. He said SHE would end up being the major bread winner.
She used to take care of my hair. Three-four years ago she was trimming my hair and ED said, "I don't know WHY you bother with Mom. ALL she does is clips it up and puts on a baseball cap. You're wasting your time." Frankly, my jaw dropped at the cruelty. That remark stuck.
And GUESS what. The child we funded (who has not even begun to pay us back and has blithely said she guesses it can be deducted from her part of the inheritance) has NOT so much as touched a hair on my head since.
I have NOT gone to a local beauty shop. ASHAMED. EMBARRASSED. Why? That same kid travels the USA for an international hair care company instructing and giving seminars and about "everyone and his dog" in these parts knows her. Due to shame I refused to slink in and sit in a chair and later have them wondering WHY my kid doesn't do it.
This week I pretended I was a teenager. I got out shears and trimmed it myself. AND bought a box of hair dye at Wal-Mart (makes beauticians squirm/scream.)
I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.
Old saying, which used to apply, (but not so much any more with coolers in odd stores) "You don't go to the hardware store expecting to get milk,."
When I have children who decide not to "stock" ANYthing I need...I'll do it myself. Or do without.
Author John Bradshaw noted that "Silence is violence" when people refuse to speak. And he also said "Shame is SOUL MURDER".
We don't have to feel ashamed. We know deep down we are NOT. But..how many of the lies and accusations flung at us have been hurled with intent to hit the Bull's Eye Blame/Shame Mark???