Praise the Lord for these encouraging and kind words of a son to their mother. God bless you.

Thank you lindajoan. I can only wish & pray this for others here on DS. Praise the Lord is absolutely right! God Bless you to!

gordos.....I am Sooooooo HAPPY for you! A whole hour conversation? Wow! Is he the one the atheist or am I mixed up?

Praise the Lord gordos!

If I can make a suggestion, take the high road (i.e. stay out of) the brewing conflict between Nate and your ex. As tempting as it is to get involved, especially now that you are finally feeling some vindication, it will only lead to trouble in the future, as well as the temptation to play one child against the other.

By taking the high road and telling your adult son that you are happy to have him back in your life, that you really want to rebuild your relationship, but you don't feel it is your place to step between him and his dad - this is something to be resolved man-to-man - you will earn his respect. This is because: 1) He will recognize that you respect him as an adult; and 2) it will be clearer in his mind that what you are doing is out of love for him, and not just some attempt to get back at your ex.

Moreover, if son #2 is still in touch with your oldest son, you can bet it will get back to oldest son that mom is taking the high road.

gordos - What a blessing this is for you to be able to start the New Year with resolution with your son. Praying this continues and improves to a point that you can say that it is better than it was before because you both have learned how precious little time is left and how that time should be spent supporting and loving one another. With a renewed relationship with the younger son, the older son may feel more like the "outsider" and soften a bit.

CM

ASims, this whole thing actually has nothing to do with my son's father. Although, I DID encourage him to forgive his dad & try to reconcile. His dad has terminal cancer. I told my son he may regret it later after his dad is gone. I hope that I didnt overstep my boundries. He hasnt spoken to his dad in 5 years. Only when my ex found out he had cancer did he try to contact his sons. I feel bad for my ex, as I would never wish terminal cancer on my worst enemy. I am worried that after he dies, my sons will have regrets about not trying to reconcile with him. I have ALWAYS encouraged my sons to forgive thier dad, for their own peace of mind.
Guelsmom, yes this one is the self proclaimed "atheist". Although I dont like it, I have tried to accept it..very hard. He is still a good, nice person who goes out of his way to help others. It amazes me how he can be such a good person & NOT have God in his life. I believe God still watches over him & keeps him on the straight & narrow. He is an excellent daddy to, which means alot to me. I am hopeful that someday, he will bring God back into his heart & life.

This post is so heart warming! I am so happy for you! Today was a day for me where I'm realizing having 3 out of 4 is a good thing. Sometimes I think we fail to realize there are a lot of personality disorders out there, I've been researching a lot of them.... we can't fix everything... we can only pray and have faith in God's plan. Everything effects everything and we never know what life or relationship our hardships might affect....making it God's plan.. does that make sense to anyone but me? lol

I get that Tina! Basically, there is a reason for everything that happens to us, right? Hard times are supposed to build our character, & make us stronger.Sometimes, it's a little hard to accept. Why do I have to hurt? It's all part of God's plan for our lives. He will judge us on how we handled ourselves.

There is a lot of Biblical truth being spoken, here. It seems that everything that comes into our lives (the joys (we prefer) and the sorrows (they sure remind us that we are not in Heaven, yet) are allowed to be there for a reason we usually do not see at the moment (maybe we never will this side of Heaven). It truly causes us to draw upon His strength during the storms of life. It reminds me of the Serenity Prayer. " God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change (that's a hard one), the courage to change the things I can (in His strength but we can not change others), and the wisdom (from God) to know the differece." Amen and Amen.

Amen again lindajoan!

linda.....Good thoughts to always remember!!!

gordos....Freewill comes with a price. God gave us freewill in choosing who we will follow (Him or atheirsm) for good reason I believe. If there was no freewill to choose then that would mean that God was a self-serving ego maniac dictator forcing his servants to work out their salvation under severe oppression.

Freewill has to mean that everyone has a choics as to whom they will follow - but in the end, God wins!

gordos....Freewill comes with a price. God gave us freewill in choosing who we will follow (Him or atheism) for good reason I believe. If there was no freewill to choose then that would mean that God was a self-serving ego maniac dictator forcing his servants to work out their salvation under severe oppression.

Freewill has to mean that everyone has a choics as to whom they will follow - but in the end, God wins!

Like you gordos..I have another younger son who is so much more respectful and actually talks to me and wants his Mom around when he needs me. All three of my kids are fully grown and into adulthood, so my mothering is really on a different level now. All three have good jobs, live away from home and are productive and positive influences in their own communities, so I have a lot to be thankful for. I have asked God to bless all three of them. If they choose to keep me a part of their lives or not, well, it's their choice to make now right?? It hurts like crazy to have my love for my oldest son rejected, but it has taken me over this past year to realize that I must accept this for now. Many of estranged parents on this site are also dealing with other issues that concern their estranged loved ones (substance abuse, all kinds of other negative influences etc..). My heart and prayers really go out to those estranged parents as well because there is also the extra burden and worries for their estranged children's welfare.
This new year I have purposed in my heart to reach out more to other hurting people because there is always someone who is hurting more than I am. May the Lord continue to help us all realize that God knows all about our pain, our sorrows as well as our joys. I am going to try and focus more on the positives and less on the negatives...with God's help I know I can do this.
So, thank you gordos for helping us see some positives in your own family relationships. It gives us so much hope and encourages us. May God give us all a positive mindset moving forward. Not easy...but necessary if we are going to be healthy. I wasted too many days last year crying about the negatives, and this year I really don't want to waste another minute doing this. God will help me, will help us all. Keep looking up towards Him for help my friends...truly He is the ONLY answer.