feeling, I know what you mean. We know our ED's place of residence also. She knows we know since I sent a couple of things for her there. It was met with negativity and another time silence.
I will not send anything else.

Whatever you feel led to do by God would be right. God bless you as you decide.

My ES does not know I have his. White pages search on Internet... Don't know if I will ever do anythi

feeling.....I glad for you that you now at least have some measure of peace knowing that she is "somewhere" rather than floating around the universe in a hover-craft looking for a place to land, in a homeless shelter or out on the streets as a prostitute. For some unknown reason, I am the same way. I have to know that the few people who are in my life are "grounded" somewhere and that I have the ability to contact them if an emergency should arise - especially my son.

Even though we are estranged, when they moved last year we did get a "We've Moved" card and I do have his telephone and email address. Our situation between our son and ourselves has improved to a very, very small degree to the point where I'm fairly sure that if we called him, he would answer whereas he probably would not have earlier. I also think that he no longer has me blocked with his email address. Even though we do have his physical address, I would never show up as a surprise visit. (We did that in the early years and it did not go over well at all.)

So, I guess what I am trying to say is that each person has to evaluate the "temperature" of their own situation is when deciding what to do and what not to do. If I recall correctly, you said your ED left a note when moving out without your knowledge and said she did not want to see you again. Since she was angry when she left and has not contacted you since then I would tread very, very carefully with your new knowledge. Contacting her even by a card could go either way depending on where her emotions are at the time. If she is still angry, bitter, or believes she is happier without you then she most likely will have a negative reaction. But, if her heart has softened and is missing you but won't set her pride aside to contact you, then she MIGHT not get upset if you sent a general type care like a store bought "Thinking of You" card saying that you are willing to talk if she wants to contact you and that you love her and miss her. Then leave it at that.

That's my only thought.

feeling, we pray for the knowledge of their whereabouts or their feelings for us, and then when we receive that knowledge it sets up a new set of circumstances. Where before we could have no contact, now there is a chance we can. I pray that God helps you make the decision on how to handle this and soon. Im sorry for the pain you are dealing with it. As much as what they are doing hurts us, they are truly the ones missing out, on the love that only a mom can give.

for those of you who know where your child is why don't you just go over there bearing a gift or gifts and have a big smile on your face when they open the door and say happy new year.....and then say I would like to have you in my life in this new year.....let's try again.......I know I am talking crazy here but why not......why not just give it one more try......Jesus never gives up on us.....and we are God's children.....aren't we not suppose to give up on them......I would do it for sure.....you bet I would........I don't have an address to where my son and grand kids live....but if I did I would definitely send them something.....

MusicalMom, I know what you're saying. At the beg. of this estrangement, if I'd known where she was I would've gone there and begged for her to talk to me. Now I've heard horror stories of people doing that and it just making the EC madder. If I knew I could go there and there wouldn't be her bf or his family around, I think I would do that. The few times I've talked to them to try to give her a message that I had a Christmas present for her I was treated extremely rude, like I was some monster and she needed to be protected. If bf opened the door, I know I won't get anywhere near her.
My choices are to send her a letter, so she knows I have her address. I don't like that she keeps everything secret and now I'm doing the same. On the other hand, if they're doing month to month rent, they'll be gone in a hearbeat. At least I have something in case I need to.
I'm still toying with the idea of a private dectective.
I've prayed for info. for this 1 1/2 yr. estrangement, and now have something. The biggest thing I still want to know is if she's had a baby I'm praying if to wait or to act.

You are not talking crazy musical. You are talking like loving parent. For some it may work. It would be wonderful if it did. Our ED lives 10 minutes away at her bf's mother's home (with the bf). We would not be welcome on the property by them. We did send her a lovely package and note, at Christmas, and received no response. We know that the bf is discouraging any contact with us. Now, for me, I believe I am to wait and pray like the prodigal father.

O, musical, I pray that one day our EC would stop and think and realize that we are here for them. We continue to pray (that God will do whatever it takes) and wait like the prodigal father.

We're thinking of showing up on the campus where my son goes to college and trying to see him. He had told us if we do, he will call security. We were thinking of at least leaving his Christmas presents there at the front desk, even if we couldn't see him.

Feeling…I too inadvertently discovered my ED address…my experience in sending her cards, gifts and flowers on her 25th bd, this was acknowledged with a county sheriff pounding on my door to serve a "domestic harassment" summons. Fortunately the judge threw it out but the $$$ experience (I had to hire a lawyer) has altered me, my confidence as a mom and brought me here..Thank God (literally) Guelsmom, kamary and others feedback of caution is wise, protect you "feeling". You have value (it's what i'm trying to learn myself). We gave so much as moms to our children we forgot about us. Kamary suggested a book "Free Mother to good Home" by Kay Taylor. I just started reading it…very insightful and empowering. One thing I've learned is how "I" contributed to this ED and her younger sisters attitude of entitlement. We love so deeply we forget unconditional love does not include abuse from the receiver. Again, I AM right now trying to absorb ALL of this as well. The heartache is devastating.
My experience won't necessarily be yours, just a few thoughts on the matter for you. God Bless, LMS

lovemyson , So sorry you had to go through that. So undeserving of a good parent. There is no telling what levels our EC will go through. Two years ago our ED's bf at the time called the police to assist our ED to get some of her things from our home. So unnecessary for EC to treat parents like criminals. So sinful.

Sovery, Do as you feel led by God. Please be careful for your own sakes. God bless you.