It is so very true how we have a way of learning lessons from The Lord more during the storms of life than during the good times There are many storms throughout our one life on this earth. It really reminds us that we are not in Heaven yet. We best not get too comfortable. The rain falls on the just and the unjust. There are also countless blessings to be thankful for each day. Happy November dear friends.

I too feel that I have grown closer to the Lord during the years of estrangement. After 6 years, I really started the healing process and now my thoughts aren't filled with anger or embarrassment like before. And this site and all the wonderful mothers here seem to lift each other up. Thank you all.

Detachment has helped me and my new Christian friends here in the new town we moved have helped also. Each day I try to remind myself of my "blessings" first and try not to let my mind wonder to the "what ifs".

I think detachment might be the healthiest way to do things spiritually and physically.
I know nothing we humanly do can change out ED. Only God can change a heart. Why then do I keep thinking I should be hands on? People do not help when they ask if I've heard from ED then I wrongly start thinking that I need to be hands on again. The prodigal father waited for his son to return and God our Father waits for us to Come. The hands on thing we can do is Pray.

Here's a thought provoking quote from my pastor in last week's sermon- "What if GOD made parenthood to make us holy -- not happy?"
Benefits of this estrangement:
A closer walk with Him.
A deeper trust in His Providence.
A greater empathy for and greater awareness of hurting parents.
No more eggshell walking and land mine dodging.
No more wondering what I should be doing to fix it.
A better understanding of what He wants to give me - HIS Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-Control. This Fruit of His Spirit is not a gift to allow me to sit back and sigh in contentment and blissfully bask in the glow of His Love - but this Fruit is what he gives me to be able to deal with the "sandpaper" people He puts in my life. It's how He changes me. Smoothing out my roughness. Re-shaping me. Refining me. We will be known by our Fruits.
How do I get this Fruit into my life? I ask Him. I allow His Holy Spirit to fill me, to equip me. At this time in my life I may not be able to physically or personally display this Fruit to my ED. Not in deed. Maybe not in this earthly life. But certainly in thought and prayer and when I speak of her and our estrangement.
It's not easy. I don't think it's supposed to be - not in our strength, that's for sure.
.

I imagine this has been posted on this site before. But I thought it may be inspirational to someone besides me.

The version found written on the wall in Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta:


People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.


-this version is credited to Mother Teresa

This discussion is so uplifting to me. Thank all of you. I truly believe it is about us become holier, more like Jesus. And for this we can praise God in the midst of sadness.

Almostrelieved Thank you for these beautiful words and reminders.

Yes, I am almost relieved, but not sure yet.

I know I am a better Christian since this all started seven years ago. Not because I do great things for the Lord, but because I am more aware of what a leper I am, and how much he condescends to cleanse the leper. I am brokenhearted, but I am more able to see the brokenheartedness of others. I have learned how He demands that we forgive, even when someone has completely crushed the life out of us. I understand the fellowship of His suffering.

I was thinking recently that the suffering that we have in this life is perhaps like a big spiritual rubber band. It gets tighter and tighter, and then when we die, it flings us farther into heaven than perhaps someone who has lived a rather easy life. That's just a funny thought I had.