Well it certainly sounds like there is an epidemic of mean emails going around here. My son sent me one last week saying the exact same thing, minus the part about the cancer. I know exactly how you feel and the pain is almost unbearable. I have started a new Bible study this fall called "Missing Pieces....when life doesn't make sense". It is EXACTLY what I need to be doing now. The very crux of this study deals with questions like why is God letting all this happen? Is God fair? Where is he? I am only on week 3, but it has given me comfort as well. The author, Jennifer Rothschild, talks about faith like being a "blanket" and when we can't make sense of all of this just to use our blanket of faith and snuggle right up against the Lord. He will shelter us and take care of us. God bless you.

Baryzhere, I am so, so sorry. Our adult children's hearts are so hardened that it's beyond our maternal understanding. I also received very hurtful emails from my ED, one them where she told me that she would not take care of me in my old age, which I never suggested, but an off the cuff remark made with the only intention to hurt me. Like you, I've endured many baseless accusations, which I believe are our ECs way of feeling better themselves about the things they are convicted of doing, or have done. I thank God daily that I have him to run to and that Jesus understands all that I am going through. He is our Anchor in this heartbreaking storm we are going through. I am so grateful that we are all in the same boat together with Jesus as he commands the storms that surround us, "Peace, be still."

Sending prayers and love,

MG

When all of our estrangement situations do not make sense then it must be from the enemy. He is the author of confusion and destruction.

I am so sorry you received that email. Thank the Lord for His mercy in being forewarned. I have to belief the whole story is not written yet for us or our EC. Saying a prayer for you.

There seems to be similar situations when I read the way our children are behaving. It seems like they have lost all feelings for us...when they can be so cold hearted. It's very hard to take it in. Forever is a long time. My son said you will never see me again. You can't with the best will in the world understand how they can say such things. It is beyond hurtful. ... I am treading careful right now with my eldest granddaughter....things are fragile. I love her so much and can't cope with another rejection.

I'm so glad you listened to your inner man message that God sent you. They hurt us so badly over and over.I would love to have a few years of happiness on this earth without the shame and never ending sadness that estrangement brings. No matter how happy I am with some parts of my life. The core of me is still a mother, job I dreamed about as a child with all the wonderful happy times. I ask Lord why me!!! I'm not strong enough to handle this. Please take this cup from me. Please Lord let my latter days be better than my former. Lord help me have joy in the land of the living. This is my prayer.

With great love,
Betty

Hello Betty, you are so right that says it all. We give birth to our children, raise them, love them.... Cope with all that and the ups and downs .... Then nothing! It's not natural.... I feel as though my son has died but there has been no funeral. We are Mothers...with a love that can't be broken...no matter what! No matter what you do ...it is always there deep inside. My other son says...he has made his choice... I can't believe it has turned out like this. Lord help us all. Amen

Barbyzhere, sorry for what you are going through. I've been there, and read the horrible emails myself. For me, I went through the stages of grief, and have finally reached the acceptance stage. I can now talk about my ES without crying. I now live my life with one purpose in mind, and that is so that if and when my grandchildren decide they want to know who their grandmother is, they will discover a strong, capable, loving, kind, beautiful woman. They will point at me and say with pride, "That's MY grandmother!"

We cannot allow this to destroy us. We must somehow find the strength to get through, and create a wonderful life for ourselves in spite of what has happened. God will equip us. He has done this for me, and he can do it for you, Barby.

Agrandmother, you speak my sentiments EXACTLY!!!!! that is how I'm living MY life and it is hard but rewarding. I do everything I can to get on with life . Here is a system that has helped me. I plan to do a fun activity 2 times a month. One every two weeks. I search the local newspaper and on line for free activities in my area..sometimes there is a cost...but that's OK too because I'm worth it. I think of who else might enjoy the activity and give them a call...have two to three people in mind in case the others are busy. I have two Senior friends in there 90's that I invite out for dinner too...they both have almost no family so it's a treat for them and me. Here are my October plans as an example: I'm attending October Fest on the 8th. I'm going to a parade on October 17th and then have lunch at my house afterwards. I'm also attending a Stop Domestic Violence gathering in the park Friday October 9th. THERE!!! Here is what I do next, if for any reason other a than an emergency I don't keep my word to myself I try to think of why I let myself down, then I vow to keep my word to myself and not let me down as others have. This gives me at least a couple of hours "mind vacation "
I'm fighting for life my friends.
With great love,
Betty

Wow, Betty, that is awesome advice. And I love the way you keep yourself accountable to yourself. You go girl!

Thanks poodlegirl,