CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
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Came across this reading on Choices:
We all have choices. My loved ones need to be given the dignity to make their own choices. I can give them the diginity to tell them, "You are free to make your own choices" and mean it.
But since I have a right to choose light instead of darkeness, serenity instead of insanity, I must also give them the dignity of learning from their choices. "I'll always love you", I tell them, "But the consequences of your choices will be yours to contend with. I owe you that freedom".
However, I will not speak these thoughts until I am strong enough to carry through on them.
Today, I will make choices for myself and leave others the dignity of making their own choices.
This reading really hit the nail on the head for me with regards to estrangement and choices. As much as it hurts and though I see it as emotional blackmail, my EC has the right to choose estrangement. However, his choice to estrange does not limit my choices on how I respond to it. I can allow my EC the dignity of making that choice, even though I see it as undignified. I can also let the consequences of my EC's choice to estrange be his to contend with.
I can choose to get out of the darkness and live in serenity, even if my EC has chosen estrangement. I can choose to continue to have faith knowing that God is handling the estrangement.
We all have choices. My loved ones need to be given the dignity to make their own choices. I can give them the diginity to tell them, "You are free to make your own choices" and mean it.
But since I have a right to choose light instead of darkeness, serenity instead of insanity, I must also give them the dignity of learning from their choices. "I'll always love you", I tell them, "But the consequences of your choices will be yours to contend with. I owe you that freedom".
However, I will not speak these thoughts until I am strong enough to carry through on them.
Today, I will make choices for myself and leave others the dignity of making their own choices.
This reading really hit the nail on the head for me with regards to estrangement and choices. As much as it hurts and though I see it as emotional blackmail, my EC has the right to choose estrangement. However, his choice to estrange does not limit my choices on how I respond to it. I can allow my EC the dignity of making that choice, even though I see it as undignified. I can also let the consequences of my EC's choice to estrange be his to contend with.
I can choose to get out of the darkness and live in serenity, even if my EC has chosen estrangement. I can choose to continue to have faith knowing that God is handling the estrangement.
yemats11
What great words...I will read them tomorrow morning and pray that I can feel like God is handling my estrangement. That is what I have the most trouble with....
deleted_user
This is insightful. For the first time in my life I am being still and letting my ED take responsibility for her choices. Normally I would be begging, pleading and trying to 'fix it'. It must be confusing for her but it will cause her to confront her choices and their consequences while I chose to respond with dignity and serenity until she chooses to treat me accordingly.
deleted_user
QUESTION? WHO IS THE PERSON GOD USES TO CONVICT THE WORLD OF SIN? OF COURSE THE HOLY SPIRIT. I AM VERY GUILTY OF BECOMING THE CONSCIENCE OF MY LOVED ONES, BUT WHAT I AM REALLY DOING IS HINDERING THE HOLY SPIRIT TO DO WHAT IS HIS MISSION. I MUST LET GO AND LET GOD AND LET THE HOLY SPIRIT CONVICT PEOPLE. THE HOLY SPIRIT CAN AND DOES BETTER THAN WE COULD EVER IMAGINE. THRUST THE HOLY SPIRIT.
OverAndOut2
Good food for thought and will be helpful as I face the day. Roger, you are so right that the Holy Spirit can convict properly, with love and power, while I so personally mess it up. Plus, who am I to even try to convict someone else when there's so much work to be done on me. Thanks for a great post, Maria.
deleted_user
Thank you for your insight and sharing this reading. You are so right that we need to let go and let them make their own choices as we make our own. There is much wisdom from walking in the light and from having the years of experience that we do as the parents. This leaves the consequences of their actions on the EC where they belong.
MariaStevie
I like hearing about the Holy Spirit convicting us. So right that we can do the Holy Spirit's job. In my opinion, our role as Christians in this estrangement is to respond with loving boundaries when a response it called for, not interfere with the natural consequences of our EC's choices, turn the estrangement over to God and pray for our EC.
GuelsMom
ersoloveu....Oh to have had the wisdom of a 60 year old at the age of 20!!!
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