CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group

Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...

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lindajoan 07/05/2012

I was blessed to find this group, today. My DH and I have had an estrangement from our 21 year old daughter for 7 months. She has no desire to have any contact with us, her 3 older brothers (our 3 sons), or any other extended family. We tried to do our best for her. She is adopted and our sons are not. My DH and I have been married for 36 years. She has lied about us to others and the kind of parents we were, so others would enable her, especially her boyfriend's family and girlfriend's family. They do not even know us. She even believes that God wants her to do what she is doing or so she tells others. She appears to be happy and winning her goals at this time. It has been a very difficult time, for us, and we have tried to reach out to her with no response. We love the Lord and are continuing to pray. We know that God is in control and that He can do ALL things. We know we can not change anyone, although I admit I keep trying to think of ways. It is a daily battle. We ask the Lord to help us with His strength each day. Thank you for being here.

deleted_user 07/05/2012

I'm fairly new to this group as well...but I can tell you it has been a LIFE SAVER for me. It's a place where I've found people actually listen and understand exactly what you're going through. I'm so glad you also found it, so sad though for the reason why you had to.

I hope you find as much comfort in these groups as I have.

lindajoan 07/05/2012

Thank you for the welcome Anngrenade I am thankful that we are here for one another and we know that God is ALWAYS here for all of us. How could we go through anything this difficult without the Lord? God bless you.

GuelsMom 07/05/2012

linda...Again, welcome to the group. So sorry to hear about your adopted daughter. I have an adopted son who has also turned against us because of the lies created by his wife. But, your daughter is still young and it has only been 7 months, so I believe that there is still a good chance that reconciliation is possible. Ours has been 6 years in one week. The longer it goes and the more they get set in their "new life" without parents the harder for them to swallow their pride and seek resolution I think.

So glad that you love the Lord and are praying for change. You know God is in control and that all things are possible. You know you cannot change her, or anyone else for that matter and know where your primary source of strength is. Take comfort in knowing that Jesus is with us through this battle and that you are among friends who care and can support you.

God Bless,
GuelsMom

lindajoan 07/05/2012

Thank you GuelsMom for your email and welcome. It is a blessing to know that other believers understand. Our adopted daughter believes that she has followed God's way by moving on from us, her parents, and her entire family. She has told and written lies about us and seems to believe them, too. God can do all things in His time and in His way.

I need to keep my eyes on the Lord. I truly need His strength each day, each moment. The enemy has wanted to destroy us in the past 7 months but God is greater. As you said, "The battle belongs to the Lord". We can keep each other in prayer, too. God Bless you.

sadmad11 07/05/2012

A warm welcome to you lindajoan. I have a 30 year old son who has chosen to ignore us (my husband & I, and also his two siblings, our other two adult children). It was last October that we saw him face to face with very limited communication since then. What makes it really hard for me, is that he has also decided to keep us from seeing his new baby son, now 15 months old. We are all grieving the loss of relationship with him, his wife of almost five years (our DIL) and missing our grandson is especially painful.
We hope to be an encouragement to you and hope that you can feel safe expressing your emotions here, because we are a group of parents sharing the same type of pain...the pain of missing our adult son/daughter in our lives. Just like you, I need His strength each day, each moment. I love how you expressed that!!!.((hugs))

GuelsMom 07/06/2012

linda....Our DIL has twisted scripture around to suit her needs also. If anything at all, that to me has been one of the most grievous things that have come out of this estrangement - the use of God's Word to manipulate and validate outright lies and distortions of truth. Twisted scripture was then used against us and yet when we used scripture (Matt. 18) to encourage them to deal with this thing before it could get out of hand we were ridiculed and ignored. But then, is twisting God's Word not what Satan did to Eve?

lindajoan 07/06/2012

Hi sadman11 Thank you for the welcome. I am sorry to hear of your estrangement from your son and his family. I miss my daughther every day. This is why it is so important, for me, in while I am praying for God to work in her that I heal in His power, as well. So much of the past 7 months has been wasted I am sad to say.This trial has taken a toll on my husband and I.

Thank you for being here. I will keep you in my prayers. God Bless

lindajoan 07/06/2012

Hi GuelsMom,
We have much in common as far as God's Word being twisted for selfish purposes. Very sad to use God's Word in such a way. My daughter quoted scripture in her "document" of defamation of our character. She even passed it around and was enabled by some people without them even knowing us and checking things out. Some people were from churches.

Yes it is what Satan did to Eve and is still being done, today, by the enemy. We need to stand strong in God's Word and prayer during these evil days. Do we not?

deleted_user 07/06/2012

Please find comfort in knowing dear lindajoan that this is a safe place and you will find the help here that I have personally found no other place including at church! We are all in the same boat together making that difficult journey through rough waters and in the midst of the storm, Jesus is walking on water next to us whispering, 'peace, be still.' It's very difficult and the pain is ugly and raw, but God is bigger than the problem and will see you through your situation with your ED. I'm so sorry you are experiencing unnecessary pain, but know you are loved, being prayed for and are supported by all of us here. God abide with you...&hearts;&hearts;&hearts;

Rachel100 07/07/2012

Welcome, lindajoan! You've come to the right place. Here you will find understanding and love.

My husband and I have been estranged on and off, mostly off, from our only child for 20 years. In addition, our 5 grandchildren have been estranged from us too. It's been heartbreaking in many ways. But my hubby and I have learned to go on and live our lives as happy and content as possible. It took us a long time, though, to come to this calmness (and once in a while we can be jerked out of our calmness by some small thing).

Please continue to post here. We care.

We know we can't control our son, or his first wife, or his current wife. We have to lean on the Lord, as you have said. God is in control.

lindajoan 07/07/2012

Hi abandonedor and Rachel100 Thank you for the kind welcome. This truly seems like a sacred place to come during this trial that we would not have chosen. We can be here for one another and truly say that we do understand. God bless you both.

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