edr, I'm sorry for your pain. I don't understand these kids' feelings of entitlements. Don't feel stupid- you did the best you could and wanted the best for your son.
You have encouraged me tonight because we are taking the "tough love" route with our daughter. No financial or emotional support and no contact whatsoever. And she is 18 and just had a baby. It kills me to not help her, but our counsel is telling us to let her live with the consequences of her poor choices (having a baby unmarried at 18 is not the only poor decision she has made- and the disrespect she has shown us in unfathomable). It's so difficult not to help, but praying that not enabling her will benefit her in the long run.

Your story sounds very familiar. I, too, wonder if we were just being used for a very long time. Unfortunately, we let this go way too long. We did all the right things as you did, our ES even played trumpet and went to Regionals and States. He wanted to go into the Navy after HS and since he was very mechanically inclined, we thought it might be even better than college for him. He had goals and purposes. He was raised in a Christian family with virtues, morals and standards as I am yours was also. After 3 years in the Navy (we were constantly sending him care packages, etc) Christmas Day he called and told me I was going to be a GM. I won't go into all the details. Anyway, he is a single custodial father of 3 and we have done everything possible for him and of course the GC, He is a very good Dad and I thought we had a very good relationship. In May he came to ask for more money and we told him we just didn't have it. He marched out and we haven't seen or heard from him since. So, yes, now that I look back I guess if you can so easily leave your parents, all we became was a money tree - you know the one in the back yard that instead of leaves, it grows money. I just can't understand how these EC can feel so entitled. In our case, I think we tried too hard and did too much. Now we have absolutely nothing.

I guess alot of us tried to much not knowing what was ahead.And now i have been put in the middle of all of it my son will call or text me for money,babysitting and then have to discuss it with DH.We have given so much our bank account is shrinking so now we cry poor like everyone else and it just destroyes me.If not we will lose our home we just purchased 1 yr ago to be closer to them boy biggest mistake we see,talk to our son less now than we did when we lived 11/2 hr away and he lives15 min away now.his wife doesnt work hasnt worked a whole 6 months since they have been together says her back hurts.she depends on him for everything.I am so hurt right now i have been there for him and now i am not important in his life.

I often think of this. Our ED (EC) took a lot for granted. We gladly did all we did for them as good parents do. We may not have even looked for appreciation and gratitude or a simple thank you. What we did not expect on the other hand was bad treatment and in our case betrayal. These are things that do not make sense. It is not God's way. It is the way of the enemy.

I believe after we find out what happens to our sons health issue,Im praying things work out for him and thatnothing is wrong.So if he is going to be ok things will have to besaid toward all this including my gs skin,his health,dil being the way she is,and how they have treated us.Thats the word i will e saying,using BETRAYAL cause we dont ask them for anything,and never intended for things tobe paid back.honestly i dont think they could never repay.Please pray for my son health. thanks lindajoan BETRAYAL thats the word.Thats what they did.

Remembering your ES, edr.