Saying a prayer for you edr. Would it help to talk with a Christian counselor who understands estrangement? I did for a while. Please keep coming here. We understand and are here to support you our friend.

My heart truly goes out to you. I don't how long you are into this estrangement, for me since Jan 1,st and I feel your pain and my heart aches for you. Sometimes the pain just seems unbearable. I have had moments where I wish we could just go back to the way things were, even with all the dysfunction, that would seem like a momentary relief from this emotional agony, but then I know I could not live that way with all the heartache of our dysfunctional relationship. It sounds like you have a loving and caring husband, I am blessed that way also. I suffer from severe anxiety because of this, so I try to do breathing exercises, I try to stretch a bit and take some herbal supplements to help me sleep. I try to read and distract myself, listen to some music. I know its really hard but, we don't have any choice, we have to keep on living. I am going to try to focus on setting some goals, I am not sure yet, but for a month this is all I talk about, think about and I just finished writing a 54 page letter, with ever spare moment I was in my bed writing this letter, and tonight I am done. I will put it away, and try to find a way to relive my pain if only for a moment. Sometimes I get angry, talk out loud even swear and then the next moment I am praying for them and our whole situation. I pray you will sense the Holy Spirit comforting you and know that Jesus loves you and will never forsake you, all of this is temporary for we know what God has in store for those who believe. Jesus suffered and if this is the walk we have before us, then we must march on knowing Jesus is there beside us. Big Hugs to You

edr, will be praying for you. We all have probably done something similar and the outcome seems always more heartbreak.

2 Kings 20:5
We can be confident that God sees our tears and hears our prayers, but the problem enters when we don't believe he's answered.

God answers every sincere prayer. There is no such thing as an unanswered prayer. He just doesn't always answer in the way we expect. Sometimes the answer is wait. We won't always get an immediate response like Hezekiah. And sometimes God has something else—something better—that he's working out, and the answer we seek is not the answer we truly need. If we're patient, if we wait and trust, in time we'll see that God has heard our prayer, he's seen our tears, and he has answered.

As you know, edr1961, I am a Jersey Girl and you are only about one hour from me. Sometimes, a cup of coffee/tea with a "sister" can do us a world of good or even an old-fashioned phone call. I will pm you my cell. I have no problem driving to your area and meeting at a Panera, Starbucks, or whatever you have down there is south Jersey(lol) Private joke, ladies. Unofficially, although NJ is one state....we have a North and South.

In addition to coffee, prayer between two or more is also a good thing:) Hugs and prayers for comfort.....

“And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.” Matthew 24:12.

EDR... my heart goes out to you. I know it is so heartbreaking to see the love of our children grow cold toward us, but Jesus said it would and it has. The fact is that their heart has grown cold and hard, and illness and death don't seem to matter to them ... those usual things that would bring our kids running home, don't any longer.

You are grieving and that is normal. You have no control over the behavior of your EC ... this is your time to rest and heal and take care of yourself and lean on Him. Be kind to yourself, these are trying times. Go have a cup of coffee with IronCowgirl ... take care of you ... and surround yourself with support. We care about you... Hang in there! WARM HUGS...

I am so sad for you. I remember feeling just like you do. You are in shock. The shock and horror of realizing that my ed was not going to respond to me is something I will never forget. My heart broke, just like yours. I also cried buckets. I think all of us can identify with what you are going through. I also remember how impossible it felt to know that my ed would cut me out of her life as if I was dead, and also did not care if myself, my dh, or her sisters lived or died. These estranged adult children do not care, that is the truth, and it is a shock. And with time, love, and prayer that intense feeling that ,"if you could just talk to them, things could be fixed" will lighten some. This shunning behavior is cruel and evil. You don't deserve it and my love and prayers go out to you and your dh. Stay close to God, his Word and promises, and the loving support of this group. Also, seek good counsel from doctors and counselors and good friends. Many don't understand this form of estrangement and may heap shame on you, but don't listen to it. No one should have to endure this and you are not alone. God's peace be yours through these hard times. Diana

I think we have all felt your extreme sadness, EDR, at one time o another. How can the children we love so much turn away?

I get emails from "Parents of Prodigals" and today's message is a good reminder for all of us:

"Fellow Parents of Prodigals, Take comfort in knowing that our Faithful Heavenly Father loves and is watching over our prodigals. Continue to release them over and over to HIM, for He alone is our hope. Let Him comfort and strengthen you today."

Thank you all for being here

I remember being at the point where you are, at the beginning of the estrangement. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, all I did was cry. It WILL get better, but it does take time. And I think we have all said it before, there are stages, kind of like the stages of death. I can't remember the exact order but I think shock, denial, anger, and then finally acceptance. I am in the acceptance stage and I only got here by the grace of God and also this website. None of my friends were any help at all, in fact they made it worse. I quickly learned not to talk to them about it. You are blessed with a caring husband, as am I. What I have done, besides joining this site, is to scour the scripture and pray like I have never prayed before. We are basically being persecuted by our EC, and Jesus was persecuted too. He knows how we feel. Just press in to him and let him cover you with his arms. I might add some other things I do are exercise every single day. I take a Piyo class twice a week and the other days I ride the recumbent bike. I also listen to Christian music. And do you know what I have learned to do when I am absolutely at my lowest point? This may sound odd, but I give thanks to God! Not thanks for the estrangement, but just thanks for the good things I DO have. I swear, that makes me feel better every single time. Just find something to be thankful for, even if it is your dog. I love my poodle, and I thank God for him. I thank God for my husband, my health, my house. Just find something. I hope I helped you somewhat. Hang in there!

My estrangement started 5 years ago and I can remember the first 2 years all I could do was cry. You are not alone. But I have learned a lot since then. I know that my kids are His kids first. That I did everything I could and that this is not a surprise to God. My kids, all of our kids, are on a journey and God has purpose for their journeys. We have to wait patiently, pray, and trust in God for their return. God has them. In the meantime, He has been giving me this Word for the past month, that we must ask God to fill us with His joy! "The joy of the Lord is your strength"--Neh 8:10 and Gal 5:22 - Joy is a fruit of the spirit. Without His joy, we will get bitter, angry, rebellious, and then dry. But joy cancels all of that out. We need to pray so we can remain peaceful and joyful during this storm.

I am praying for your peace and joy today. Hold on . . . It isn't over yet.

Blessings!

Its been an on/off again estrangement for about 4 yrs,between 2 sons i have come to terms with the oldest we are only verble he went to florida to see his dying father that his father never had anything to do with him and never paid child support but i am proud of him for allowing his father to live the rest of his life in peace andtry to mend a fence,but it hurts also i had cancer also in2009 and asked for my oldest son he didnt speak for 3 yrs and oldest son/dil never visits but can go all the way to florida let alone just call, then there is the yougest and its shattered my heart not even broken cause i think you can kinda fix a broken heart not shattered,i just dont see a light at the end of this tunnel i am going to try to hold on.

You're not alone edr. When my estrangement was still new, I went to my ED's place of employment, which was a large supermarket. I asked her co-worker if she could let her know I was there, since I didn't see her anywhere. Her co-worker told me she was on a break, but she'd let her know I was there. You guessed it, she never came out from the back, and after almost an hour of waiting, I left.

I'm praying for The Lord to give you His peace that surpasses all understanding. Hugs to you....

Just heartbreaking what we are going through, hugs to you to and to all

I spent so many days and nights feeling that defeated and brokenhearted...no one can understand the loneliness estrangement brings like all of us here. I do encourage you to seek out a Christian counselor in your area-- my heart goes out to you, as do my prayers edr.

Being new to this thing called estrangement, I spend a lot of time crying, calling out to God. My DH helps so much and is so very understanding. However, he is determined that I am not going to be exposed to more cruelty and hurt. I know some days it seems impossible to function on some days but DH gets me out of bed, holds me and gets me on my feet to help me function. Every year at this time, we do a volunteer project for a few months and he has insisted we do that. It does help to volunteer for those who are really less fortunate and be totally absorbed in what I am doing. Of course then I go home to the sadness but those few hours away each day do help. How could our beloved child who we did everything we could to raise them in the light of God, turn into such darkness. We have not only lost our son but our grandchildren who we had with us every day after school until after his work many times having dinner here together. Yes, I am much in the same condition as you. All I can do is pray and pray. I turn it over to God who is the only one who can open hearts and eyes. Then before I know it, I am feeling sick all over again. It is encouraging to hear from others who are further down the road ahead of us and see that they are making it. Their support, kindness and understanding are such blessings. I have faith that it will get better either with or without my loved ones. I am very blessed to have such a loving, caring husband and he helps me to find the positive things in life. All the things for which I am grateful. Yes, it is a process and I know it isn't going to change over night but I have to have faith that God will love us and make it possible for us to endure no matter the circumstances. My heart, thoughts and prayers are with you. May God enfold you in His love and make each day a little brighter - day by day and step by step. I know it is a long road for both you and me but God will sustain us.