CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group

Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...

561 Members
3,756 Posts
0 Online
Children's Health & Parenting
/ CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Support Group

feeling all alone

edr1961
edr1961
my husbandwas getting sick on thursday he called his doctorand he called in a prescription for a antibiotic.He was taking it and suddenly started a high fever, coughing he felt bad.So we took ride out to ER and sure enough he has pneumonia they were going to keep if blood work not good but thank God it wasnt to bad they said.So they sent him home with new meds.But wehad to make the choice whether or not to call the kids itwas about 9 pm and we did not call came home 3am. And i felt guilty and called our son no answer of course and text no answer,tried Dil phone no answer text no response either Finally she text back.she said phone was not charged that is real nice.So son called awhile later i ignored it dil text i ignored it to.I told them today my phone was not charged,Son said i should have called when we first went out to er.Why i thought to myself you dont answer it.I told we feel we are alone and thats the way its going to be.So another situation what are we supposed to do call or not i dont want the drama of them not answering they dont have to go to er just wanting them to know.Its a very very lonly feeling that no one cares
caneglect
caneglect
You told them, it is their choice now. Please don't be so hard on yourself, they will either go or they won't. If they don't, it is on them. They do care, they may not know it or show it, but I think they do. Right now, your focus needs to be on YOU so you can take care of your husband as best you can. Don't play into their drama, I will never understand why, but they seem to thrive on it.......I did it for way too long.....it is exhausting, humiliating and depressing....you can't have that right now. I care!!!!
lindajoan
lindajoan
You did what was right because you felt led to call them. Please do not be hard on yourself. We can not help or change the way our EC respond. Their responses are usually not normal (speaking of our ED).

I pray your DH will feel better soon. God bless you with Shalom. We care!
sallyannlass
sallyannlass
Pneumonia is not an illness to take too lightly. Your priority now is to see your DH through this to wellness. Don't get into the drama of when you should call and why. If your ES and DIL want to play those cards, you don't have to play.

You let them know. That is sufficient. You can give them an update when your DH is feeling better. Meanwhile pray and take care of yourself as well as your DH. Blessings.
Norske1
Norske1
I agree with everyone's advice on this post. You need to take care of your husband right now AND yourself. When my DH was diagnosed with cancer, a friend of our son's sent him a message via FB and he really didn't care. After repeated messages from our son's friend to ES, ES finally said "I got your message and am processing it." Haven't heard a word from him and don't expect to.

But we have left ES in God's hands to mold. We both need to concentrate on taking care of our husbands and ourselves. Always be mindful of how much God loves you.
edr1961
edr1961
Thank all of you for your kind thoughts.And everyone is right i need to takecare of my husband.He isnt a well man high bloodpressure,diabetes,disabled due to failed back surgery he is on so much medications wehave a list in with our insurance cards cant remember all of them old age setting in lol.We have been married 29 yrs we are in for the long hall.he tells me "its you and me".Sometimes its hard to look at him knowing how strong,vibrant full of life to see the change its heart breaking.And to thinkyour own kids dont want to spend time or even answer the phone half the time.Sometime days are ok and somedays are bad as far as kids contacting.Take one day at at a time.
whyonlychild
whyonlychild
right after Christmas I had pneumonia and was very sick so I know this is serious. At times like this, we need the support of our children not admonishment for not calling when they thought you should have. I am new here and we are totally cut off from our ES and grandchildren although they lived right next to us and I took care of the kids daily. This criticism by our EC is just over whelming to me. It seems to me so far, that everything is about them and they could care less about us. I can't call, text or FB message our ES since we are totally cut off. Of course you are feeling so alone. That is one of my greatest feelings right now and I am sure it will always be. But, our ES has no consideration for us. Just know that you have many friends here and we are blessed to have each other. We care and we understand. Sending you prayers and love
Norske1
Norske1
You know, sometimes when I get sad, I have to remember that God gave us these children on loan, to raise in the Christian faith and then, like a bird, we need to let them fly. And while we hope that by letting them fly, they will come back to us, we have no guarantee. Not in this "entitlement" world.

Our minister spoke today on the commandment "Honor your Father and Mother". Wish my ES could have been there to hear it.

I still think about my ES and DIL all the time and pray God squeezes out the hate and replace it with love, but I am not letting him stop me from living my life. A life God gave me and it would be a dishonor to Him not to live his life as He wants me to.
lindajoan
lindajoan
Amen, Norske. It would dishonor God not to live and appreciate all He has done for us. We should not allow our EC to take that from us.