You are not garbage! I know your pain...I am feeling it too. God has other purposes for us. I am waiting to be shown what is in store for me. He has something in store for you. Tomorrow will be brighter. Hang in there....

I know you feel that way and most of us have but don't let your EDs opinion define you.
You deserve to be loved and respected by your ED as we all do. I know how you feel about intending to do nothing but help and it blowing up in your face.
Please don't believe the lies of the enemy you are not garbage you are the apple of Gods eye. Hold on to the truth.
Love and prayers.
Kay

I also know how you feel. I think we have all felt beaten and bruised. I'm not sure if this will help you, but it does wonders for me. When I feel beaten down and tomorrow seems like a million light years away, I think of what Jesus went through in order for me to have the promise of a brighter tomorrow. I can almost see him being beaten, cursed and called every name. He done this for me. He did this for you. So when my heart is breaking I think of him, the one that died on the cross for my sins before I was ever born. God does havea plan for each of us. I have seen times that I questioned what good could come out of what I was going through, and before I knew what was happening I would have my answer. Our kids might leave and forsake us, but God never will. You have to keep yourself strong, Gods plan maybe for you to take care of your GD. When we put our trust in him he is able to work miracles. I'm still looking for things that might help you with all the rotten stuff going on in your GD life, just keep holding on to Gods promise. Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
I am praying for you. Love Pam

gma6
We have all been where you are with the same feelings. When ES cut us out of his life and not allowing any contact with our GC, I thought my life was over and I didn't want to go on either. There are so many emotions in this thing called estrangement. But as in any traumatic loss, we do experience the various stages of grief. But have faith because the Lord is holding onto you in His e ever lasting arms. We recognize the agony of just trying to put one foot in front of the other. Through these experiences we usually draw closer to the Lord. He experienced the agony of His son on the cross to save us all. We are here for you and we want to encourage and support you. As difficult as it is we will get through this together through the love of our everlasting Father. I would also encourage you to seek some counseling. My physician recommended a wonderful Christian psychiatrist who helped me so much. I still have a long road ahead but I just feel a little better and more able to cope with all of this after my time with my psychiatrist's help. No, I am not crazy and neither are you but some times we need a little more help. The Lord does have a plan for each of us and one day we will understand. My ES called a mutual friend and said needed our help. His GF who is totally in charge didn't want one of his children (between the 2 of them, they have 6 children). His way of contact was through email telling us we were his last hope or the bottom of the barrel but he needed us to take this GD. Of course I called him and had just enough contact to make custody and placement arrangements. It was a very difficult time since we had contact but as strangers. It is now 6 weeks later and
GD is flourishing. The love we have for each other is a miracle and is a blessing for the 3 of us. As for ES, I am totally repulsed that he no longer has contact with us or his child. I am not saying this exact thing will happen to you but you never know what the Lord can and will do. Be open to Him. Nothing is impossible with the Lord so be open to Him and His blessings. All is indeed in His hands. I don't know what the future brings but I do know Who holds the future. Hold on because it really does get better and not just for me but for all of us. "Lord, give me the courage to change the things I can. Accept the things I cannot change and the wisdom to know the difference." We are here for you and want to help you. It is no accident that you found us but part of His Plan. HUGS!!!!

gma6: I have been exactly in the same place as you...in the "pit" of despair. God has been helping me crawl OUT of that deep pit by reminding me every day how much He loves me. Please don't listen to those lies that come straight from the enemy of our souls...you are a worthy person and very important to God. Right now, it may seem like the worst time, but it WILL get better.
In the book of Matthew, Chapter 5, verses 1-12...the beatitudes. Just take a look and see how God calls us "blessed". He understands your pain, even more than others who are rejected (like myself).
Betsy tenBoom said to her sister Corrie as she laid dying in a WWII concentration camp: "Tell them about God's love Corrie, and they will listen because we have been here".."there is no pit so deep, that God is not deeper still". They both live in eternal joy with Jesus now.
Sweet sister, I believe that you CAN endure, and that you will be in a better place emotionally sooner than later. This is my prayer for you today.
Others prayed for me in my despair, and that is why I am able to send you words of comfort in your time of need. Keep reaching out to Him. I'm glad you found this place as a source of comfort.

Hi gma6....My hear broke as read your post because it reminded me SO MUCH of myself almost two years ago when I first came to DS. I looked back and found the first post I posted on DS to show you how much despair I felt - despair like you do right now. But it was the day I began to grow.....

(July, 2010) "I'm new to this website and glad I found a place where there really are others out there are in the same circumstances as my husband and I.

I believe that I was lead to this site at just the right time. It is during the last few days that we have come to realize that our life as a family will never be the same. There have been times during the past 4 years that we have felt those feelings of hopelessness but we never really gave up completely until now. We kept saying over and over again that this couldn't be happening to us - that he won't let it stay like this because he truly does love us. I still believe that he does but it is just a "feeling." It's an emotional feeling only. Love requires work to maintain it. Unfortunately, his wife won't allow him to maintain it.

My husband and I are Evangelical 68-year-old Christians with a Christian adopted son that married a divorced Christian girl 5 years ago that we think has ADHD. He is our only child. They have 2+1 children. A granddaughter we saw at birth when this nightmare all began 4 years ago and a grandson we have never seen.

I'm going to try this website for a while but right now I need people around me that can reassure me that I am ok, that can touch, feel and care. We don't have that. There is only my husband and I. We have no friends. Our family is all gone. What few is left are far away and we're lucky if we see them once a year. It is a lonely life but I have my garden. My garden doesn't hurt me. - GuelsMom"

One of the very kind people who reached out to me really made me realize that I had to find a way to live and find a degree of happiness if this was going to be my cross to bear in life. She gave me some suggestions and so I pass them on to you........

"GuelsMom, I would like to recommend a few things that have helped me. I volunteer once a week at the local hospital. There is always something that needs to be done and the hospital is grateful to have folks like us helping.

There are other organizations that need volunteers as well. Are you close to a school? I know there isn't a school around that couldn't use you.... reading to and with a struggling student, preparing materials for a teacher, or even helping fix a bulletin board. So much to be done.

Lastly, maybe you'd be interested in a part-time job. If you're able you'd meet lots of people working in a clothing store, hospital gift shop.... wherever you'd meet people.

What about church? Most churches have Sunday School for little kids downstairs. They are always looking for help also. It gives you the "baby time" that you may use to help take your pain away from your grandkids....."

Since then I started this group because the Christian perspective was important to me. This group has been a Godsend. The people here have helped me so much in just a short time. They are caring and wonderful people who have a bond because of a tragic situation in their lives. We will always love our child/children, and the pain is more than we can bear at times. Know that we care deeply for you.

Always,
GuelsMom

Thankyou so much for all your support. I feel like God must keep the garbage others throw out. My mother threw me out, my ED threw me out. I'm not even recyleable. I know I am not the only parent here feeling so distraught. I pray for all of us, but I know in His time He works out all these problems. I feel like such a misfit, I wish I had a heart that didn't care sometimes. I think I love and feel too deeply, I envy my mother in law who could care less about her grandchildren or great grandchildren, she has spared herself great pain.

Your mother-in-law has spared herself great pain....but also great joy, and I find that terribly sad. Every relationship is an investment and if you never make any deposits there are never any withdrawals.

Such a sad, lonely way to live IMHO........

gma6---This is a site where you can come and be lifted in your spirit by others who are where you have been and know your pain! We care and pray for each other. We share our testimony of what the Lord has
done in our lives.

You are at the early stages. The pain is almost unbearable. You can't imagine life could ever
see the light. But you have Jesus as your Shepherd and he tells us that we are his sheep and
he cares lovingly for us. That is a PROMISE! I remember when my beloved godly brother was dying
I was overwhelm with sorrow and pain. My only hope was to CLING to God's promises. That is what
has helped me deal with his death and my estrangement with my daughter.

Do not listen to the enemy because he gains much joy in your pain. So glad you have found our
site and that you can be lifted up and supported here.

Nope. I rebuke this in the name of jesus!!!! Its when we get closer to the answer is when we give up. Suffering is never something we can escape. It might be that you are to be standing in the gap for your child. It isnt normal nor make any sence. THE DEVIL HATES THAT YOU PRAY . You may be the only person praying for her situation. Nothing more powerful than a praying parent. Dont lose hope. You are the blessing to break this pain. Dont give up ever.

God bless and hugs. Jesus was hated more and he didnt stop carrying his cross in his profound weaknessWe carry your cross through prayers. Im going to mass like crazy.

gma....It caught my eye when you said that you were only trying to teach your GD's about the Lord when you got smacked down for it.

How old are the grandkids and did they come to you with questions about Jesus?

I think back to when my child was young and how he used to bring the kids in the neighborhood to our house to confirm questions about God/Jesus that they had been talking about to each other. (That was cool!) I would answer their questions because of the way I was approached. What their parents knew about it I do not know.

However, as I think about what you said, I wondered if the shoe were on the other foot and my son was going to a Jehovah's Witness, for example. Would I want that parent teaching him about their religion? No. I was the parent and until he reached an age where he could determine what religion, or no religion, he wanted to adhere to, I wanted to be the only one to determine who taught him what. I think most parent would feel that way too.

I know that Jesus says; "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." and if it were my mother that he went to for questions, I would have had no problem with it because she was of the same beliefs as my DH and I. Yet, if he went to my DH's parents and asked questions about certain aspects of their "Christian" beliefs I would not have liked it and would have asked them not to discuss their religion with him or else it would have just confused him.

I think the question is - are the Christians? Are they of the same faith if so? Have the specifically requested that you not discuss religion with them before?

I think that when kids get to an (undefinable) age where the want to know, and they come to you, you have a Christian obligation to answer them according to what scripture teaches us.

That's just my thoughts on looking at it from both sides of the fence.