Hello edr1961. How long has your estrangement been going on? How long has your son been married to this woman? We have not heard from our daughter in over 2 years. She cut our entire family off very abruptly after meeting her husband. She was very young - only 17 - he was 27 and had divorced his wife of 6 years to chase her. He too treats his mother horribly and we have concluded he is a full blown narcissist. People with this incurable disorder are master manipulators and control freaks. Sadly, there is little chance of a "win/win" situation as far as they are concerned. It must always be a win for them and a lose for you. They demand that their significant others be a reflection of themselves. If they hate someone, the spouse must too. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but we have had our hopes dashed too many times and have concluded the worst thing about the estrangement as time goes on is false hope. Nothing we do or say will change our children once their conscience is seared. Only God can break through that kind of stronghold. Put your hope in HIM and only Him and His power to change the hearts of man. He will bring you comfort and is closer than ever before since He says in His word that He is near to the brokenhearted. Cling to Him.

edr...that is a hard thing to answer because each person's situation is distinct because of personality differences, age and reasons for being estranged.

Generally speaking, I for one am not for cutting off contact without letting the person know why you need to take a break for a while. If necessary, a simple statement like, "Our communications are to volatile and therefore too stressful for us to continue without any progress. Therefore, I think we need to take a break and perhaps gain so new perspective. We are here if you need us for any emergency and will always love you no matter what."

Just a thought though, you say that he does not like to listen to how you feel, could you volunteer to have a conversation where you tell him that you want to listen to how he feels about what is going on or what has happened to the relationship?

It is impossible to make someone talk if they do want to take the time or give it the emotional energy that is needed to communicate.

I don't believe I would ignore the phone if he calls. I would let him know again that your DH would like to set a time and place to talk. God bless you

We have been noticing about year or so.We have always had a good relationship up until then.He was engaged before this wife and left her for this one.They have been together 3yrs now and have our sweet GS.She is 39yrs old and our sonis 28 yrs old and she has 3 children from previous men.But we welcomed them with open arms.We never get invited to there home ever,and just sold our home in july/2013 to move closer so we can help with GS when they worked.We are disabled live in 55+ home community.WE call,text them andwont call back.And callwhen they need money,sitter cause now she doesnt work.Let her 15 yr old daughter quit school and sleep allday. just plainly THEY AREVERY LAZY.And i dont likewhat i see and it breaks my heart i can go on and on pleaseLord help me what am i to do.

This is surely a difficult situation for you and your DH. It sounds difficult for your ES also. He has a lot on his plate. I think as long as there is respect I would continue to be there for your son when he calls with help and encouragement not money.