ignore...never feed an out of control fire...you will get burned
or
tell him he is threatening you and in civil society thats not acceptable so you are letting police know...he wont like either choice..
but
He might just leave you alone at that point.

Its situations like this that make me say thank you my ED is just silent and whereabouts unkn.

AllK

gordo, its just sad, he sounds like a mess..i know when i hurt badly, and was angry d/t how my mother treated me.. she was indifferent, void of facial expression, no warmth..i wouldve wanted to hear she cared.. she could not say it,, still cant.. im not incinuating uve done anything wrong..just wonder if u just responded by saying ud like the relationship better, and that hes your son, u love him....what would be the response??? sorry , hope i dont open pandoras box,,,, good luck, ur a good mom huggs :)

gordos....he can only make you as miserable as you allow him to be. You are absolutely correct in saying that if you engage him, he will just keep it up. He knows he is getting to you. He will only stop when you set up reasonable boundaries and hold to those boundaries. I say reasonable because sometimes boundaries can be barriers. For example, saying...."I don't want to ever hear from you again" is not a reasonable boundary that any child or parent should make - IMHO. But to say, "I will no allow you to call me names, tell lies about me publicly or privately, yell at me, or threaten me in any way. If you do, from this time forward I will block you or simply delete your messages without responding until you stop your abusive behavior. The only message I will acknowledge is if it is a legitimate health emergency or a phone call from your therapist to discuss this behavior of yours with her. I love you dearly but you MUST STOP THIS DISRESPECTFUL BEHAVIOR"

" THEN STICK TO YOU BOUNDARIES. That is absolutely CRUCIAL.

I did tell him Friday that he wasn't welcome in our home until we can trust him again & that it would take a lot of work on his part to regain the trust. I asked him very nicely to "please leave me alone for a few days"..he couldn't even do that. He told me in his last text this morning that we would never hear from him again..
My husband says it sure is funny how ES ONLY sends ME nasty, disrespectful texts, & NEVER contacts him. He knows how to push my buttons & intimidate me, upsets me. I am really doing pretty well with the whole thing. I would never tell him I never want to see him again or talk to him again. Just not until he gets his life together.

Gordos4, everyone gave excellent advice. listen to your husband and sons, don't give your son the power to upset you, you have your husband and others in your life who need you. Ignore him, delete his messages, if he's not going to listen, then you have to change the way you react to his calls, messages.

I completely agree with the others. My ex & his family tormented me/four decades & I allowed it because I was a "forgiving christian - always turning the other check. Then when my daughter forgave me (her father ending up in the gutter & taking them from a comfortable lifestlye to one below the poverty level)something happened to me & I actually did really forgive him & when I showed up at her Memorial & was not angry, frustrated or devastated - he was diappointed because he had gone to such great efforts to send me in the wrong direction but you know my friend that was 16 months ago & he has gooten bored because he didn't get the explosion he was expecting.
Your son is pushing your buttons too! So change the location & send him a text like GuelsMom said "you R the 1 he can toy with so you R the 1 getting the texts" He is trying to force you into a corner where you will say something nasty so he does not feel so guilty!Don't play his game & when he is ready 2B "respectful" then he can contact you BUT you have to make sure he understands "that you love him but have a problem with his Behavior & that is what U R not going to accept any longer. You have to take a stand like I did with my son & it took him 3 years to come back & now he is never disrespectful & if he slips & says something he always apologies for it. He needs to grow up & while is growing up you will be growing too Spiritually. Take care but stand your ground & don't worry once U lay him at the Master's feet life might be very very very difficult for him ` because he will be living under conviction but you will have such perfect peace I just cannot explain it with anything else than wonderful.

Agreed. At the very most if you reply you can let him know your heart is always open to him and he has your love and prayers. You can add ithat he can not come home until he is respectful and has turned his life around. May God continue to give you His strength and Shalom.