No doubt that holidays are difficult to get through with any semblance of joy when your heart is breaking.
Something that helped me recently when I was feeling very hopeless about the broken relationships in my family was a song someone had posted on here by Jaci Valasquez called "Lay It Down". Listening to it I realized that I had been carrying a burden that I did not have to...that He was there to help me deal with the heartaches, the rejections, the brokenness...that,as simplistic as it may sound, if I chose to I could "lay it down", commit it to Him and He could bring peace to my heart.
Now I know it does not mean that I will never feel hurt from this again...or that all of a sudden everything will work out wonderfully and my family relationships will be completely restored...immediately.
But I know that He has promised to never leave me nor forsake me.
He has promised to be my strength...that I can cast all my cares upon Him because He cares for me...
In all the years that my family has been broken, my efforts to repair the broken areas have been unsuccessful. I have to leave it in His hands as He is more capable of healing hearts and minds than I am,needless to say.
Prayers, blessings and healing for you, Annabelle...

Christmas is a difficult time tor those of us with EC. We remember all the family times and
yearn for our child. You are dealing with so much more with your father's illness. When you informed your children to be in contact. Please don't turn your disappointment inward and blame.yourself. I truly feel that each of us did our best as parents or we wouldn't be here together. I really don't feel our EC actions are our fault. We walk in the light of God and reflect His light. We did as much as we could to give our EC a good life. Some how when they became adults they chose not to live in God's light of love. Of course this is just my opinion but I feel they chose the darkness of self-centeredness. They are only capable of seeing things from how they affect them. I feel we have no control since they are adults and that is also part of their message to us. God is the only One with the power to change things and turn hearts. God loves us and understands us. So we need to remain in prayer and trust and steadfast in our hope. There are certainly times when that is more difficult than others. We are here for you praying with and for you. Glad
you can talk to us and know you have our support and understanding. Do you have a pastor or counselor with whom you can talk?..That may help too. God bless you and may you find His peace and love

The holidays are sn especially difficult time for those of us with EC. I totally agree with Hope that all we can do is turn it all over into God's hands. He is the only One who can help us. Many times that is easier said than done but what we must do. "On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is shifting sand." God is our fortress and strength. May you feel God's love and peace in your heart.

One thing about estrangement is that it leaves you in a state of confusion. There's no rhyme or reason for the actions of distance and silence. I think that is the most perplexing part of the estrangment and the most hurtful.

I am so sorry you are feeling those feelings with your kids. I hope you do find something this coming year that will help bring up your spirits and that soon God will restore your relationships with your kids.

Hang in there,
Pearl

Hi annabelle, I know how hard it is when the very people who should care just don't., it breaks your heart. We just have to trust that God will one day open their eyes to what they are doing. I too know how it feels to wonder why my kids have turned out so unfeeling and self centered but we brought them up in the 'fear and admonition of the Lord' and they have chosen to shun us and their upbringing and choose a different way. Don't blame yourself, I am sure that you were and are a loving mother or you wouldn't be so hurt and distraught now. I pray that tomorrow will be a brighter day for you.

Thanks to everyone for your encouraging words!

Pearl wrote: "One thing about estrangement is that it leaves you in a state of confusion. There's no rhyme or reason for the actions of distance and silence. I think that is the most perplexing part of the estrangment and the most hurtful."

In the midst of this emotional perplexity that we find ourselves in, the Lord wants to remind us of how constant He is - faithful and unchanging. The Lord is dependable and trustworthy - and He can be trusted with our hearts. We have all found ourselves in a "difficult" place, but it is not a "bad" place. We are here through God's permissive will. We may be hurt, but we will never be harmed, because we belong to Him.

"Trust Me with every fiber of your being! What I can accomplish in and through you is proportional to how much you depend on Me." ~ Jesus Calling

annabelle, my heart goes out to you because I know your pain so well. So well that I just did not have the words I wanted to say - until I remember the Footprints in the Sand poem. It always brought comfort to me, I hope it brings comfort to you.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.


This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints,
is when I carried you."
Mary Stevenson


Please don't let those self-doubts about your parenting or wondering what is wrong with you get you so far down that you begin to question who you are. Jesus knows who you are and just because neither son wants to have anything to do with you for now, that does not make them right and you wrong. Don't let their actions redefine you as the kind and loving mom you sound like you are in your post.

Rest and take Comfort in Jesus. Let Him carry you through this. His love is perfect. Human love is imperfect.

God Bless

prayers and blessings - Nothing is wrong with you. Our adult children need prayer.