CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...
That's how I feel. And it's familiar .. this obsessive .. nagging fear. Even though it's written "Perfect love casts out fear... for fear has torment."
My sister has cut off communication with me; refuses to say why. Her beliefs are opposite mine; overwhelmingly so. She's very pushy (at least towards me) with her diatribe, political views and version of an invented god. My oldest daughter is going through divorce; her husband betrayed us. It's insurmountable. My sister has become my daughter's confidant .. and that scares me plenty .. on one hand .. I understand why. It's easier to confide in someone with whom you have no emotional attachment. We're in smithereens from the blow of this tragedy. Yet .. He is still Master?
One more time .. this is beyond my control. Might as well try to hold back the waves of the ocean. (Don't think I haven't tried.)
Maybe God has a bigger plan? Because He always does?
I'm going for help this week. I don't need another Bible study. I need undiluted GRACE.
My sister has cut off communication with me; refuses to say why. Her beliefs are opposite mine; overwhelmingly so. She's very pushy (at least towards me) with her diatribe, political views and version of an invented god. My oldest daughter is going through divorce; her husband betrayed us. It's insurmountable. My sister has become my daughter's confidant .. and that scares me plenty .. on one hand .. I understand why. It's easier to confide in someone with whom you have no emotional attachment. We're in smithereens from the blow of this tragedy. Yet .. He is still Master?
One more time .. this is beyond my control. Might as well try to hold back the waves of the ocean. (Don't think I haven't tried.)
Maybe God has a bigger plan? Because He always does?
I'm going for help this week. I don't need another Bible study. I need undiluted GRACE.
Remember God still loves you, nothing can separate us from the love of God.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=W8TAr9jgA9A
One more time.. every good thing comes from Him.
Not my own efforts.
He sees what we've done. HE WON'T FORGET.
I can't fight evil with more evil.
And I can't fight this .. in my own strength...
Lord .. YOU HAVE A BIGGER PLAN.. help me stay calm..
I have a meddling Es who has helped encourage and poison my ES against me.
the bible says to mind your own business on judging others and stay out of their quarrels.
http://www.gospelchapel.com/Sermons/Archives/Mount/66_161.htm here is the full text if you would like to read.
Alienated..thanks also for share that link with us. We are truly a group of God's people who help each other here.
belovedfaith..we have all felt the same way as you..at some point. Our lives can just get so overwhelmingly complicated, with not only our own trials, but the trials of our loved ones as well.. I will pray that you will have the emotional strength to be able to be there for your daughter going through her own desperate trials. You don't need to fight this evil around you dear sister..just take it ALL to the KING!
Yes..the Lord's plans for us are NOT our plans, so we must all release control over our lives..completely to our Lord!
I have been blessed by all of you here today...just wanted you to know.
We can simply hold hands together in this awful storm of estrangement..together with Jesus...we WILL make it through to the other side. Be comforted by this knowledge.
In your case it is your sister, in our case it is my husband's aunt who is meddling in our already existing pain and misery, and just making things worse with her self absorbed intolerence and being judgmental.
Our D would never have spoken and confided in her before so we know it is to deliberately hurt her father that she is yakking to his aunt now. That's her excuse. But for the aunt, all we can figure is she has no life of her own - really - and she must be so flatttered with all this dramatic tension. Is that her excuse?
I just hope and pray that his aunts actions are due to her naivete rather than a deliberate need to hurt us. In any case, it is in God's hands.
Sadmad.. Everything you wrote was such an affirmation and uplift. Thank you for validating these heavy feelings.
TAKE IT TO THE KING!
I love that.
Remembering how King David .. at the battle of Zilzag, wasn't it? When his men turned against him; because how things seemed; but "David strengthened himself in the Lord." So.... he didn't yell at his men .. HE TOOK IT TO THE KING OF KINGS.
I know how maddening that is .. imresilient. That's exactly what bugs. The one incredibly dear to us .. going to our enemy and spilling secrets .. betraying us .. without the wisdom to know.
Is that why Jesus prayed "Father forgive them. For they know not what they do."
Because we feel that same compassion...
Example of why. During a call (I now cringe before caling her) .. she said "I'm going to give you something to worry about. The terrorists that flew into the twin towers on 9-11 were heros; and America could learn from them about what we've done wrong." I hung up. Stunned. Did she just say that? I reiterated it in an email. She responds, "You're putting words in my mouth. Don't you know humor when you see it. Stop it."
I actually wondered .. did she or didn't she? C r a z y.
Many, many times .. I've had to say "STOP" by her bombarding with a gospel of her own . Massive attempts at control. She treats God .. as her puppet. He's all nice. And very indulgent of any whim whatsoever. Stripped of holiness. Manageable.
Again. I hold her in contempt for these things.
But .. Lord search my heart .. SURELY YOU HAVE A BETTER PLAN FOR ME?
Throw me a rope, please.
I have a meddling ES.
http://hubpages.com/forum/topic/81144
Belovedfaith...try to ask God to help you not harbor any contempt in your heart for this sister. God asks us to simply pray for those who persecute us. I gave up feeling contempt for my abusive sisters some time ago. I was just not in a healthy place when I held bad thoughts in my mind and heart about them. It has taken me quite some time to get to this now peaceful place, it didn't happen over night. It is still a working process even today.
This was so hard for me to do. To forgive my sisters is truly having no bitterness towards them now.
I personally know how difficult this is to do, but God really helped this happen in my heart over the past three years. I am more likely to examine my own shortcomings, and be more critical of myself now..but in a healthy way because it prompts me to be more Christlike..to turn from my negative attitudes and actions, and to let God exchange them for loving and positive ones.
Not sure if I am making any sense here...this transformation of my character over the years has truly been God's miracle work in my life. I am having to apply this same principle towards my estranged son now. In the beginning, I harbored real contempt for my ES's behavior, (to love the sinner, but hate the sin) but now I don't have anything but loving and positive thoughts towards him. Trust me, this has been God's work in my life...the glory goes to Him for teaching me to do this. The past three months, I can truly say that I have learned to accept and live being in a much better place. Knowing that God will deal with my ES eventually, frees up my heart to be in this healthier place.
I hope I threw you a rope..or part of one anyway. Love in Jesus, Maddie