I don't know if there are any answers for me anymore, other then to find my own peace. I give it to the Lord daily because he knows I don't have the strength to deal with it anymore.

Long story short my son violently assaulted me after I addressed reckless and neglectful regarding my granddaughter with him and his new partner who i had known only a short time before she became pregnant.

My son's father passed away when he was l6 and I have had a rollercoaster relationship with him all too often. He would lie and I would become frustrated over his behaviour even as a youngster.

My daughter was an honour student very pretty, but lacked self confidence, it was her in large part who informed me of the problems with my gd as she was babysitting at the time.

after the assault my son lied to authorities and tried to accuse me of attacking his partner, said my injuries were "self" induced. the lie was over the top the authorities saw through it and the crown when my case was to come up said she completely agreed with my concerns.

ultimately i let my son off from an assault causing bodily harm to a peace bond. he still was unrepentant, said no unless i would also enter. i refused as i would take no culpability for the event, as i was pleading with him over my granddaughter in a non combative way when he chose to grab me and assault me. I only wanted them to read information i had on the hazards of feeding a child almond and coconut milk which right on the package said not suitable for children under five on the boxes. (really anyone as it contains carregenan)

i went through incredible PTSD my granddaughter torn from my life and my daughter had an eating disorder previously, it was all over the top. It took me almost 3 years to get back to feeling less then heartbroken, but slowly i rebuilded.

i had a tenant moving out and my daughter asked if she could move in, and i told her yes, i reduced the rent by l/3 to help them out as her husband was finishing university. i told them i would consider selling the house to them. then 6 mos later she announced she was pregnant. I was happy for them. The time came when i would have need them to buy the house but i was told her fiance would have another year to go longer then the original term. I had to scramble to sustain my finances.

then the isis war broke out and i have had issues with a local "gathering" in my area and the demographics are changing considerably. i told my daughter i did not wish for her to purchase this house, but that i would help to get an satisfactory replacement nearby.

then after the baby was 4 mos old my daughter started acting weird again with me. i felt something was off, i went online and i found an email from my son, accusing me of the worst things and my daughter chiming in. I completely fell into depression I felt unbelievably betrayed. It ruined my Christmas and my daughter continues to be very distant with me. inspite of me doing as much as i possibly can in every way to help her at every turn throughout her life.

she informed she had met with my son, who after i had read the email, i sent a text telling him, i would get a lawyer and pursue a slander suit if he continues to tell lies about me and malign me.

i was so deeply hurt.....but now i am healing, and i know it is from a sinful place that these emotionally torturous attacks come from and I am resolved to continue to serve the Lord. But I feel an emotional blackmail, my daughter knows I love her very much and especially my new granddaughter. They are my main family.

However here is my dilema, I love my wee lil granddaughter and I would see her every 3 days or so. I now hear her screeching out in joy in my home regularly and I am naturally delighted. Yet I still feel completely betrayed by my daughter. I told her when I found out was she had written as she lied about an incident (which is related to her social anxiety). that I wanted her to leave my house. as it is not bad enough to be assaulted by your son, and to never feel justice was truly served, then to have my daughter, inspite of her saying she doesn't like him? that I feel so totally abused and taken advantage of. That my daughter has little respect for me, and i am concerned that as my bond of love for my gd grows that she too will rip the heart out of me, by using her to her advantage. my son is l0 years older then my daughter, and i know he is trying to poison my daughter against me. I said to my daughter that one day his daughter will know the truth. my daughter said that they would tell her i am Dead?

I find this generation very, no extremely difficult to deal with and I have thoughts of just packing it all in and running for the hills, because of this disrespect. I also have a so called Christian sister who i led to the Lord and when her gambler husband left her penniless as come back to tell stories about me and team up with my son in bitter jealousy.

I believe my problem was all to often having unconditional love and now i'm seen as a door mat. I was looking so forward and I told my daughter that I would love to be part of my gd's life and help them out by living if not in the same house near by. But now I'm not sure I should even have any contact with any of them. I feel I have been set up, disrespected and betrayed. she gives little time for me for an holiday times, and i honestly somehow have begun to believe it is because she is afraid that I know her and some of her bad behaviours. I feel now like i'm just being used to maintain the house and keep up their lifestyle with no gratitude nor respect or little. I was near suicidal when i found she had said living with me was a "balancing act" basically completely validating my hugely arrogant violent son. and I don't know if she was trying to impress saying they would be looking for a home elsewhere in the near future.

my son desperately wants to get my daughter along side with him, as he feels this will white wash his crime against me. he "trys" to say i am mentally ill to justify himself and save face. I assure you I am not, but mostly depressed over their disrespect towards me.

I feel emotionally blackmailed and that I have lost faith in my daughter, she has not apologized, but mostly justified her actions, again as we can all relate that I was "not" the perfect parent. she said she is a great mother and a better one then me, i always assured her of this.....but i had to laugh i said you have only just begun, babies are easy, wait till you need to have patience and cope with the very big responsibility of raising children.

I find my children are very immature and selfish, and i realize i was wrong in worrying so much about their happiness rather then them respecting my needs and feelings.

I could say more, but at some point it just becomes so much nonsense, like I said i'm just wondering to get out of dodge, but I will miss even if it is just sprinkles of my granddaughter.