CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...
I understand and feel the wonderful message of let them walk, however with ED birthday coming up I feel sadness. I know this will pass. On the other board of Peace there is an EC that posted. It seems they form groups that can't forgive or won't forgive, unperfect parenting. I'm just having a moment of grief in this process. I don't want a band aid fix this time, like I did a year ago. Hubby may need heart surgery, we will find out next week and when I had texted her about the dr. saying if, God forbid, he have a massive heart attack during the nuclear stress test, would we want him on life support and I said yes... she said why would you want that. She never came to see him in hospital, how cold and unfeeling could she be....Wish I had never ever wanted to be a mom tonight.
We have all raised an army of EC with narcissistic personality disorder, entitlement and self-centeredness. Only God can change their hearts. Sadly, it will be too late when they come to the realization of what they have done.
I will be praying for you and your husband. My late husband had heart surgery 3 different times over 20 years and I know only too well what you both may be feeling. He needed it a 4th time, but Drs. would not do it as it was too risky and he had just had another stroke. God took him home this time. The decision for life support is a very personal one. My husband had a DNR of file for all the years. While I didn't like the decision, it was his decision and I respected it. My prayers are with you.
Norske: I don't know about the personality disorder, but I have to ask, why do you say that it will be too late when they realize what they have done?
Gma: You know you are in my prayers. Im sorry you are going through this with your husband. You must be terrified for him and yourself. And then to have the daughter being so unkind towards you both is like rubbing salt into your wounds. All I can say is to try to concern yourself with him and let her go for the moment. I know it sounds easy for me to say. It isn't. I haven't been able to detach so I know your pain. But the best thing for you and him is to concentrate on the issue at hand and that has to be his condition.
All are in my prayers. Blessings
There was a similar issue with my girlfriend's husband. When his father died, he stood at the coffin and cried. His wife told him he didn't deserve to cry at his dad's funeral because he never had time for his father when he was alive.
I'm just stating fact in my own situation. That doesn't mean I don't pray for my Es and DIL every day, I do. And I also know that with God, all things are possible. I have felt so much better since I have detached and turned the situation over to God.
I am sorry for what you and all the people on this site are going through. And I have to be honest, I am sorry for our children as well. They cant be happy in what they have chosen. It will hit them eventually and I don't wish their pain on anyone. Their guilt.
ECs who are abusing and mistreating us feel no shame, guilt or remorse for their inappropriate behavior and attitude. They feel justified and self-confident. They have no feelings or sympathy toward their parents. They simply do not care! If they did, they wouldn't be doing what they are doing living self-serving lives. Pathetically, most ECs will never admit the truth, admit their wrong, admit their guilt, take responsibility, apologize, or make things right. They are dead-set right in their own eyes. And it's only in your dreams that their willful sins "will hit them eventually!" In my lifetime, I have heard about and personally known some folk who died and NEVER admitted their sins and made things right with their loved ones. Nothing was resolved and those left behind were left with broken hearts. Nothing was ever mended.
I've gone six years now and nothing is getting better or showing a glimmer of improvement or hope, only worsening as time passes. I would never make a broad statement like that! Some of our children are tragically headed for Hell which is most upsetting of all and there's nothing in the world we can do to prevent them from spending their eternity there because of the personal choices they have made in their lives, inclusive of disowning, abandoning, neglecting, and abusing us not to mention other likely sin going on in their lives. Satan captured their hearts and they are in his ugly clutches. ECs evidently cannot feel or experience any pain or guilt toward us, otherwise they would be living Christian lives the way they were properly reared. Why should we be sorry for them? We should be feeling sorry for ourselves and others like us. What ECs are doing to us is against God personally and breaks His heart because He knows our hearts have been severely broken to pieces. ECs are the ones who walked out of our lives. They are the ones who cut off communication. They are the ones who want nothing more to do with us. I personally will not make excuses and apologize for willing sinful children who are under Satan's authority and not God's.