CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...
Hi friends. It is a blessing to have this place to come to because there doesn't seem to be any other most of the time. We have a difficult few weeks coming up with multiple family birthdays, MIL and two ESs. MIL has involved herself to the degree of totally infuriating us this past year, yet to be dutiful we ordered her a gift but don't know what to do about the bday phone call she'll be expecting. We're certain that she'll use it as an opportunity to unleash on us. If we don't call, no doubt it will be a huge strike against us and she'll never let that go.
ES twins are extreme opposites. One we almost never hear from, the other won't quit trying to find ways to give us a piece of his mind and has totally betrayed us in recent months. I don't know what to do for bday gifts. The non-communicating ES hasn't acknowledged either of our bdays in several years but did send a Valentines Day text "Happy Valentines". The other is calling and leaving messages every week. Lord have mercy, I just want a break from these aggravatingly complicated people!
I'm willing to send gifts to all of the above but don't want all the drama and craziness that it is going to unleash when they get them. They will all want and expect bday gifts and are probably looking forward to the opportunity for "their day" so they can tell us what they (MIL and one ES) think of us. I barely make it out of bed these days. I'm just minimally functioning. They don't care at all what this is doing to me. And if they knew, they'd just say I am just weak. They'd love to know how much this has paralyzed me because they would just believe it justifies themselves in blaming me/us.
Praying for strength and wisdom so that we don't have a hand in making things worse in the future.
I've appreciated this verse lately:
Psalms 62:1 & 2
Truly my soul finds rest in God;
my salvation comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
ES twins are extreme opposites. One we almost never hear from, the other won't quit trying to find ways to give us a piece of his mind and has totally betrayed us in recent months. I don't know what to do for bday gifts. The non-communicating ES hasn't acknowledged either of our bdays in several years but did send a Valentines Day text "Happy Valentines". The other is calling and leaving messages every week. Lord have mercy, I just want a break from these aggravatingly complicated people!
I'm willing to send gifts to all of the above but don't want all the drama and craziness that it is going to unleash when they get them. They will all want and expect bday gifts and are probably looking forward to the opportunity for "their day" so they can tell us what they (MIL and one ES) think of us. I barely make it out of bed these days. I'm just minimally functioning. They don't care at all what this is doing to me. And if they knew, they'd just say I am just weak. They'd love to know how much this has paralyzed me because they would just believe it justifies themselves in blaming me/us.
Praying for strength and wisdom so that we don't have a hand in making things worse in the future.
I've appreciated this verse lately:
Psalms 62:1 & 2
Truly my soul finds rest in God;
my salvation comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
I send my GC birthday cards and gifts, not my ES and DIL. I receive no thanks and no recognition on my BDay but I accept that reality. The GC gifts are from the heart, not 'duty' gifts. Pray before you act. Blessings.
After prayer, if you feel led to send a gift then do it. I would not make any calls that would cause you any stress. Please take care of yourself. Estrangement takes a toll on us.