CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group

Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...

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gordos4 10/25/2014

My youngest son, whom Ive always been close to, called last night. He had been drinking AGAIN. I thought he had been doing better, but obviously not. He was telling me how he doesn't believe in God or Jesus, doesn't understand the whole concept. I raised my kids better than this, I know I did. What is going on with our youth??? I know it says in Revelations "children will become unoly, unloving, etc." I have 2 kids now who claim not to believe in God. I told him NOT to call again when he's been drinking. I once again, BEGGED him to go for help, but he refuses. He is almost 22, so my hands are tied. I am just waiting for that phone call telling me he is in the hospital or dead. I had been feeling SO good the last few days, & then BAM, I get that call. I feel him pulling away from me & fear I will have 2 sons that no longer will communicate with me. I am so weary of this, it's never ending. Just when I think things are going ok, I find out they're not. I know this isn't normal, but I find it impossible to be happy when I know one of my kids is not happy & is struggling. I am at a loss at what to do.

whyonlychild 10/25/2014

The last thing we can be is happy that our EC go against everything we taught them. This is a very strong form of rebellion but how long should rebellion last? No, it's stronger than that. They can only make their own choices unfortunately. We can't do anything to change that since we no longer have any control. So they will have to live with the consequences of their actions no matter how much it hurts us. The problem is that they only think in the moment and not about anyone but themselves. . All we can do is stay in His Word, pray unceasingly and rust our faith in God. God is the only one who can open their eyes and change their hearts. I pray He does this soon for all of us. Prayers and hugs

lindajoan 10/25/2014

Very hard, indeed, Gordos. It does not help for me to tell you how common this is for young men in their early 20s. It was for two out of three of my boys. Pray for their safety. It takes them longer to mature. They make poor choices at this age. God can turn this around. One of my sons matured around age 25. Some take longer like my son #3 who still has a ways to go at age 27. My main prayer for him is that he will go to church and draw near to God. Yes, they were brought up that way but there is the journey for many. So many of my Christian friends found this to be true of their 20 something's.

Let's pray that they will be like the prodigal son. Make God give us peace.

AllKheirlyn5 10/25/2014

Maybe we are all missing something with these kids...Gordos mentioned that she cant be happy when one of her kids is not happy and struggling and I do understand that sentiment but it got me to thinking on a different plane...

What if they are happy..not struggling as we think...perhaps it is only us who would be unhappy to be like them. What if they are actually happy and content with this kind of life ???

I know they are wrong and all of you know its wrong and we say they cant posibly be happy doing these things...but what if they are ? What if they have actually chosen a darker path than any of us would and they like it.?

Maybe we are beating our heads against a wall on this one...I dont know but it was a thought that came into my head totally unbidden by me.

Sure makes me wonder now

AllK

gordos4 10/25/2014

AllKheirlyn5: that is SO weird that you mention this. My son actually told me he is "fine" with being depressed, has accepted it. He claims it helps him be creative with his writing. He is actually a gifted writer. The reason I say I cannot be happy as long as my kids aren't happy, is because I KNOW how they feel. I've been depressed most of my life. Only at age 48 now am I finally getting a hold of it. I just don't want them to suffer in silence the way I have. My other son, who is totally estranged, would call me & be all gloom & doom, then talk to another family member & be just FINE. I wonder sometimes, if they play on our emotions as mothers, knowing how upset we will get. That is just the lowest thing, but I cant help but think that at times.

feellinghelpless 10/25/2014

Just a thought...maybe they can be all depressed with you because they trust you to still love them and understand since you also suffer from depression. You came to deal with it later in life. Hopefully they'll get some professional help and deal with it sooner. Right now all we can do is pray for them.

lindajoan 10/25/2014

Our ED would tell people she is happy living the kind of life she is now (one that is not following God's ways) but according to God's Word that can not be the case in the long run. When difficulty comes, and it will,who will they turn to for help if not God. When things run smoothly their way may work but when the going gets tough, and it will, they will need the Lord.

Let's pray that our EC will find a relationship with God who will lead them to honor Him and their parents.

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