Dear Kathy, It is a pain that no mother should have to endure. It is undeserved. The truth is there is nothing we can do to change it. Only God can change the hearts of others. As we pray we must believe that He is working but He will do it on His way and in His timing. In the meantime, He will provide you with His peace. I think it means more sometimes if we do not reach out for a while. Our EC seem to react negatively towards our begging and showing weakness. In the case of our ED we believe she must hit a bottom before she turns to God and family. When things are going smoothly in their lives they seem content without us

Norske just had a reconciliation when her DH was in the hospital. Quite a miracle. We never know what way God will work. He is in control.

Please rest in The Lord. We understand. May He give you His Shalom and carry you through this storm.

God bless all of us good mothers who do not deserve this from our EC. Jesus knows the pain of rejection the most.

We had both EAD and one granddaughter estranged. Just this past week our oldest EAD reached out to us. She has always been the most stubborn, but I knew if anyone ever came around, it would be her. Yet I can't seem to get over the other EAD. My pain just gets deeper.

We will not stop praying.

kathysau, we will not find out until eternity why we've had to suffer this horrible rejection from our adult children. The Lord understands our emotional and physical pain over missing them.
My estrangement also includes sisters who have enabled my oldest son to continue his shunning..they are accomplices because they've been shunning me for well over thirty years. It doesn't make sense, however, God has helped me understand that this is a spiritual battle for the hearts of all these loved ones souls.

Jesus lives within me, and He has been rejected by these family members...and if Jesus lives within me..of course this means that they are not comfortable in my presence.

Joseph in the Bible was treated very badly by those who were supposed to love him..and I find comfort knowing that I am not alone, and that this pain is "common to man"...or woman...or child..or teen..etc..

Never stop praying for them because God knows how to reach them, though I know it won't be through me, other than I keep them in constant prayer and plead for mercy on their behalf...God knows, He hears, He loves, He cares.

Maddie

kathysau - hard as it is, wrap your thinking and love around the ED that returned. Perhaps when the daughter still estranged hears that her sister has reconnected with you, she will also return. I find girls tend to be competitive.

It continues to be a journey for us but I did try reconnection via texts, emails, birthday gifts, cards, etc. and no response. I have heard that this generation, the entitlement generation, feeds on being chased.

When my DH was going into surgery I decided to take a leap of faith and texted my ES saying "your Dad is going into surgery to take out the cancerous kidney and I wish you could be here, but would you just keep your dad in your thoughts and prayers." I didn't demand or even ask him to come; I gave him the information. He then called me. I think my saying "wish" rather than "you should be" was less suggestive.

And, of course, I truly believe it was in God's timing. It will take me awhile, probably longer than it will for my DH. I am concerned I might say the wrong thing to anger my DIL and then it will start all over again, but I can't go there. I just have to praise God all along the way.

A child can be so cruel because it is a fractured world we live in and nothing is what it should be. Don't blame yourself. Try to do something nice for yourself to get your mind off of it. You have repeatedly tried to work it out , now lay it before the throne of grace where it belongs. You are worth more to God than you know and he loves you dearly.

Our ES is finally reconnected to us on FB and reading our messages. There is no reply from him and I so much want to take one of our GC on a trip at the end of July for her birthday as we always do. I asked and got no answer. Don't know if this is progress but all I can do is trust in the Lord. There are many times that I get down but I know that if I come here, I am with others who understand. He has chosen to follow everything his GF wants which includes rejecting us and only accepting her family as his family. I so desperately want to go and shake him back into reality but realize I can never do that. He is a man who makes his own choices. I also cannot understand how some one can do this to their parents but the whole world seems to be changing. God is love and feeling His love is where I need to be so I must pray unceasingly. I pray for you.

Maddie,
Have you read Max Lucado's book "you'll get through this"? It surrounds the OT story of Joseph and the pain he went through because of his family (brothers). It is helping me, somewhat, I guess as much as anything can help during this dark time of our lives. This is a quote from the back jacket:

“You'll get through this. It won't be painless. It won't be quick. But God will use this mess for good. In the meantime don't be foolish or naïve. But don't despair either. With God's help you will get through this.”

Learning and thinking about Joseph has helped me greatly. He was put in a pit by his family and left to die. Went to prison for something he didn't do but, never lost his faith. I am learning that we can literally loose everything in this life. Family, health, material things but no one can separate us from the love of Jesus. And He is all we need. It's beyond the beyonds what we suffer. Jesus has taken care of all of it. We just can't see it yet. I think it helps if we lean on each other in groups like this. We are not alone

AMEN