CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...
I think I wrote a few months ago that my MIL (who I do love) was attempting to moderate things between our ES and us. We asked our ES not to put any of our parents in the middle of this, they are elderly and do not need the stress, but he did so and clearly continues to do so. MIL refuses not to engage him about it sooo....I had two telephone calls today, again, from MIL and from her concerned sister! Now extended family are getting involved! These conversations were 5 hours of my Friday. I would like to be able to buy that time back. All we could do was continue to explain our situation and praying that they would get it finally. With the added frustration of explaining to a new "player" (aunt) in this whole mixed up game. Nobody, but nobody, cares that this is so stressful for me! They are worried about the ES, they are even worried about DH because he has a stressful job, but nobody minds totally hijacking my day to voice their concerns for 5 hours. I need to get a job on the space station or something. The arctic circle has been looking very appealing recently.
MIL did relay information, however, that was good news. Our ED told her that she has rededicated her life to the Lord. ED had phoned us a week ago for our anniversary and was pleasant. So we knew that something had changed a little but did not press her. We know better than that! This isn't the first time she has "come back" but we are always happy, warm and receptive. We'll see if she continues. She will switch back to cutting everybody of just as quickly as she came back and none of us will know why. But it is good news regardless.
MIL did relay information, however, that was good news. Our ED told her that she has rededicated her life to the Lord. ED had phoned us a week ago for our anniversary and was pleasant. So we knew that something had changed a little but did not press her. We know better than that! This isn't the first time she has "come back" but we are always happy, warm and receptive. We'll see if she continues. She will switch back to cutting everybody of just as quickly as she came back and none of us will know why. But it is good news regardless.
I think it is a real praise that your ED rededicated her life to The Lord and gave you a call. I pray this is the beginning of a reconciliation with her.
As to your ES and MIL, wow, maybe next time you receive a call just tell them that it has all been talked about over and over and now it is time to let it be; that you don't want to revisit everything over and over. Instead you will pray for your ES.
You are in my prayers.
In other conversations with MIL I asked her very nicely but clearly to not get in the middle of things with our ES. I thought she got it then. I think I even wrote that here! The book Boundaries is exactly what is on the forefront of my mind when I have these conversations with her! I also use the term "boundaries" with her often to describe our ES's behavior. Our ES is really using her because he knows that in the past she has gone against our wished behind our backs. Her interference here has made our situation worse. Praying she meant it this time when she said she would stay out of it from now on.
We are very happy about ED. It is a beginning again and we're praying that she'll strengthen in her faith over time and we'll have a nice relationship with her in the future.