CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents,...
Hello friends. This weekend we are going to see all of our ECs at one of their weddings. It has been two years since we've seen any of them and barely anything positive has happened in those two years. They have slandered us publicly and one has privately killed his relationship with us. The extended family is all over the place about all of this. Mostly they are clueless and constantly making things worse for us. We feel very little tangible support from anyone other than my family. I dread seeing the extended family almost as much as the ECs. Somehow we are still going to the wedding, and somehow we paid for part of it too. I don't know how I won't cry the whole time but I want to be strong and not cry at all. I feel like everyone will be on our case and I don't know how not to get into all of "it" with them, but I do not want to. Some of them have already arrived at the location and are texting us with their obnoxious observations. If you think of me, please pray for wisdom and strength for me. I don't have a problem leaving if it gets to be too much but I don't want to make my life worse in the future by doing that. Would do anything not to go but that will also make my future more miserable because everyone will make me out to be a weakling or "bitter". Going to be strong. I'm taking a little cheat sheet with things to tell myself to help. Thanks for listening. Blessings and prayers to you all.
Our first meeting with all of them will be at the rehearsal Friday evening, wedding is Saturday afternoon. Already this week I was at my grandfather's funeral, had 4 cavities filled, and a dx mammogram......I'd rather go through any or all of those again than this...
We went. I cried in the bathroom but didn't let others see me and I am glad we went. At least they couldn't say we didn't care to come.
Praying you will be strong.
...in your weakness He will be your strength.
Well, I'm still trying to assess the wedding weekend with our ECs. There was one major positive, so I will start with that. The ES who has been so antagonistic towards us for the past 2 years pulled me aside at the end of the reception and apologized, then he apologized to DH! That was major. Until then it had been a very awkward weekend. It sounded a little rehearsed, so I didn't let him off easy. He has a new fiancé who he needs to impress so I had that in mind and didn't want him to get off too easy for all he put us and the whole family through. But it was a start, a good start. We'll see if he was sincere, time will tell. Cautiously optimistic.
ED, hugged me hello and goodbye, and that was all.
Other ES was the groom, I could tell that he was happy we were there. He thanked us and also asked me to dance. Small steps but maybe he is becoming more grateful and maturing.
My MIL who became entwined in all the issues we were having with our ECs, well, that is still rough. I hope she will just let us work things out with the ECs on our own from now on.
All in all, I am so grateful for your prayers and the prayers of a couple of my friends because I think we are in a better place with almost everyone after this weekend. Also! I did not spend the weekend crying! That was a miracle in itself because I cry at the weddings of perfect strangers. I don't know how I did it but I think that having a lot of make up on helped! ;-) That, and your prayers too, of course. I'm very relieved.
Thank you all again. It went better than I was expecting, which does not always happen.