My ED has been gone for nearly 3 years, this last one with zero contact from her. I have not been allowed to even hear her voice in my ear in all this time even once. I'm past the worst of the grieving and am now trying to recover and move on from the loss. You all know the profound and inexpressible pain that is always there, lurking beneath the surface of any facade we try to maintain. I have 6 other children, and they are the ones who helped me take my focus off of her. They were suffering through watching me suffer. I couldn't continue to do that to them so I pulled myself together and have made a point not to fall to pieces in front of them anymore. It is so hard, though, with all the memories we made in our home, our town etc. that our whole family (except our eldest child) have chosen to leave the country and move back to my husbands homeland in South America. We leave in about a month but I am torn as to what to do about our ED. She is manipulated and controlled by a man, now her husband, who we believe is a full blown narcissist who has threatened my safety with false accusations and would like nothing more than to file some kind of charges against me in retaliation for me pursuing statutory rape charges against him when this nightmare began. He refuses to allow any access to our ED except through him and has proclaimed that we will NEVER again have a chance to communicate with her in any form without his knowledge, consent and presence. I would dearly love to gaze one more time upon my beautiful daughter's face and hear her voice in my ear, but I don't know if I could survive being face to face with the man who brought such destruction to our family and did so in the name of the Lord too. I have a few of her things from her childhood that I have found as I've been packing. I would like to get them back to her. I've been praying for the Lord to guide me as to seeking a physical meeting with her, having the last mutual friend we still have deliver them for me with a note or just leaving the box on her doorstep. I would appreciate any input. Thank you in advance my dear friends.