Gordon, It is good to hear from you. We are here to listen and to be supportive to one another. What you said is true. Guilt is from Satan not from God. Satan is a liar and wants to destroy us. Jesus wants us to rely on Him for our strength for each day. We were not perfect mothers/parents because they do not exist. We were good Christian parents who God says deserves to be honored. Our EC are ignoring that commandment. We pray one day they will be changed by God. With God all things are possible.

God bless you. We need The Lord and we need one another.

Dear gordos; I agree the world is in a mess and that our EC are being lead away from the Light. However, there are many incidents of love also in this world. Sometimes these experiences are not very obvious when we are wallowing in our own problems. You have to search for them. Its like a treasure hunt and when you find one it is a great blessing. They can be large or small but you must be open to see them.

For example, today I witnessed a teenager examining a leaf. I couldn't resist to ask him what he was looking for. His answer was that he was wondering why this leaf had fallen when it is still green. Did it fall naturally or was it pulled off a tree? I don't know this teenager but I really would like to. He has the potential to be a philosopher..

When he walked away from me, he turned back and said " Now there are two of us wondering".
With all that is wrong in this world, my morning walk with my dog became more than a chore and I smiled all the way home.

I pray that your physical and emotional health improves Blessings.

gordos, do not blame yourself!!!! I have done this many times and it is non-productive. I'm sure you were a wonderful mother. There are kids raised under a bridge that have better morals than my daughter. Our children are being deceived by Satan when they turn their back on their families and on God. This is the trial that God has for us now. It may not be forever. Lean on Him. TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME!!! do not worry about tomorrow. Get through today....

It always helps me to reach out and help someone else. Cook a sick or lonely friend a meal, take your pastor some cookies, go read to a kindergarten class at an underprivileged school. Allow God to use you. You have so much value and worth to Him!!

Gordos, glad you are back here. You are right that estrangement is not from God. God allows us to make our decisions good or bad. He didn't promise us a perfect life and that if we come to him he will help us. The world does have a lot of good things and good people in it. Hope you are feeling better soon.

My heart and prayers are with you. There is good in the world, it's just some times hard to find it when we are so concerned with our children. So many of us tried so hard to be good parents and yet we are all here together. Just remember no one is perfect and we all did our best. Also, remember we are here for you, for one another. When you are feeling down, turn to us. We understand since we are here too. Our friends and family don't understand but we are here for you.

Gordos4, I hear you! This road is long and the future starts to look pretty miserable sometimes - frequently! Hang in there and even if your EC never come around the Lord still has a special plan for your life. He values your life and wants to carry you through this. Our EC will stand before the Lord for their actions, there's nothing we can do about that other than know that we only stand before the Lord for ourselves. Be encouraged, you are not alone. Blessings to you today and every day.

It is a fractured world, and you certainly didn't cause it. Give yourself a break. I know it is hard. Ask the Lord to hold you up. Try to do more praising of God and think of the good and positive things. It does hurt but you can overcome it with Gods help and strength.

Thanks for all the replies. I make daily trips to my church to pray, say the rosary, & light a candle for others in trouble. I came home, looked on FB & saw a video that made me laugh. I thought, how DARE you be happy/smile when your children are so miserable & lost. The GOOD news is, that our youngest FINALLY agreed to seek treatment for his alcoholism. He has never turned away from my husband & I, or treated us badly. He has SUCH a big, kind, warm heart, he is just sick. I HATE alcohol and all the damage it has done to my entire family. I find myself blaming my husband somewhat, because he allowed our son to drink with him. His way of thinking is "better for them to learn about alcohol in their home/controlled environment than to learn about it on the street or from their friends. I always warned him of the reprocussions (sp?), but he never listened. Now, we are paying the price. Alcoholism & depression run in my family, and that is the basis for my guilt, I passed the genes on to him. I am praying for the best.

So glad to hear your youngest son is willing to get help. That is a wonderful beginning. God bless him.

they run in my family too but in no way are you to blame for that. Don't do that to yourself. You even tried to set it right.

Glad you are back. I am an alcoholic and am in recovery-I will keep your son in my prayers. I know the pain he feels and know what it can do to a family. Both my ED;s are active alcoholics, but would never admit to it. It IS a disease of the mind and not too many people understand that!! I hope he starts going to AA and gets a sponsor and starts working the steps. You should go to Al-Anon to support him-it would help you very much!

Gordos, You MUST smile and be happy while your children are miserable an lost. Being miserable yourself serves absolutely no purpose. God is more capable of taking care of our children than we are, and we must put our trust in that. He can lead people into our children's lives who will walk with them out of the darkness. Our responsibility now is to stay strong and healthy ourselves. Doing things that make us happy is a part of staying healthy.

You have zero control over your own genes and so there is no way you should feel guilty about passing on the "alcoholic gene." At the end of the day people still need to make a decision whether or not to seek help, and that is on them, no you. As far as your husband; it is unlikely he contributed to your children's drinking problems. I grew up in a family where there was zero alcohol in the home, and all seven of us now drink. Sometimes not having it in the home actually creates more of a mystique about it (alcohol) and compels teenagers to want it more since it's taboo.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Focus on the positives in your life. Get out and do things you enjoy. Give to others. There is lots to be happy about even if our children are struggling. We must find the joy.

Gordon, I have received much help from a Christian counselor and perhaps that may help you too. I know God is in control of all things and I trust him and his ways even when there are times I do not understand. Please hold on to hope and never give up. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Gordos..good to see you back here.

I've been a member that "comes and goes"..and when you need to share your burdens, this is a good place to come. We need each others encouragement.

Hope you find some peace in your heart today. We have all felt similar feelings that you have because estrangement from our adult children and our beloved grandchildren just isn't natural. Family is important to God, but the enemy is seeking to destroy families and we just have to remember to seek the Lord's help and see it through His eyes. This battle for the family belongs to God, and we just have to trust God and know that He is in control of the world and everything in it..which includes our families.

Hang in there..again..good to see you back here.
((hugs))
Maddie

Dear mama I so agree with you the base line of all our family problems family wise is satanic attack . The darts are aimed at their minds and whatever cracks open in the doors the enemy will fill with a perceived desires which turn out to be perfect traps . As believers we HAVE to remember our enemy is on the prowl and never takes a day off .We so often get side tracked by the results of the trap that we forget where it comes from . Those of us who do not come to the Lord while our children are young will always run into more problems in out children's lives they are not saved or are not interested in faith . it is rough . And heart breaking when they are saved and backsliding all over the place.... The one thing we can do absolutely and always , is pray for them . Trust God to send his Angels to send the Holy Spirit to go to our children and reach them where they are . He alone can . You plead the blood of JESUS over them . I read somewhere once that a pastor confronting a possessed husband of his congregation was told by the demon in him that they "demons" could not mess with the RED people "covered in the blood" as a matter of fact it wanted to get away from the pastor but the husband was delivered from the demon instead . Knowing that I cover everyone i know and love . twice a day everyday . I am not spared calamity and grief but I get through it all easily more quickly less painfully than going through it all with out JESUS . I am not so sure there is a wrong way to pray to Jesus I guess there always will be better ways to pray . but just calling on his name makes a difference ...demons fear the whisper of his name JESUS~~~~