CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Community Group

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/ CHRISTIAN PARENTS of ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN Support Group

Thanksgiving

gordos4
gordos4
I found out last night my mother-in-law invited my semi-ES for Thanksgiving! She KNOWS the problems wev'e been having & didnt even ask me first. I am a little mad & a little hurt. I know it's her house, but she needs to consider my feelings also. I think she is trying to get back at me for our past disagreements.....
deleted_user
deleted_user
I understand.....i have not spent a thanksgiving with both of my children since my ex left me 20 years
momindeep
momindeep
Gordos...why is that a problem? Are you going to your mother-in-laws too for Thanksgiving? Or is your MIL going behind your back and not standing firm with you? I was just wondering because you didn't give much info?
gordos4
gordos4
Yes, I am also going to her house for THanksgiving. She & I have not always gotten along. She treated my 2 older boys with anything but kindness after I married her son..she was downright horrible to them. That was 15-20 years ago & I have tried let go of it & done a pretty good job. She has never cared about either one of them. NOW all of a sudden,she cant wait to have him to THanksgiving dinner. I have talked to her alot about my problems with my 2 older sons, she knows were having major problems..I just thought it was a little insensitive.
momindeep
momindeep
gordos...agreed...but maybe your MIL thinks she is doing a good thing? Is that a possibility?
gordos4
gordos4
I guess so momindeep, but still a little insensitive considering she knows what's going on...It is something I would never do. After 22 years of marriage, she STILL doesnt think Im good enough for her son.
gordos4
gordos4
RBCHELE-Im sorry it has been so long for you to see your kids on Thanksgiving...does your ex-husband play a role in that situation? I guess I should be thankful I get to see him.
momindeep
momindeep
Gordo...Maybe this could be an opportunity? You're not alone in the MIL department...I can assure you! But, perhaps her heart is in the right place but she didn't execute it right. So sorry it is upsetting to you...she should of talked to/ asked you first.
gordos4
gordos4
You are right momindeep. I guess I should give her the benefit of the doubt. Thanks!
deleted_user
deleted_user
It's been about 5 years or so since my ED came over for Thanksgiving. I would be willing to sit through an awkward, uncomfortable Thanksgiving dinner with my former in-laws just for the opportunity of being able to lay eyes on her, right now.

Sometimes you just have to schmooze the in laws (can apply to any one of them) just so long as you get to see the kid(s), be with them, see what they look like at this age, etc.

When my ED was a kid she talked all the time, non-stop. Used to drive me crazy. What I wouldn't give to hear all of that again.
GuelsMom
GuelsMom
Hi gordos! What a sensitive situation to be put in by your MIL for sure. How does your DH feel about this? And, is this the same son that has the two year old and said that you were a loser because you didn't finish college?
gordos4
gordos4
Guelsmom, my husband says "if he is rude to you, dont expect me to keep my mouth shut". No, my oldest son told me I was a loser, this is my 2nd oldest, the one who is using my 7 month old grandson as blackmail. I dont think I will see or hear from my oldest for a long time. It's funny, I always thought my oldest was most like me...guess not.