I tell the truth. I say I have not seem or heard from her since she was married. It's been 4 years now. I usually don't go into a lot of detail. The people that really care about us already know the details. This is not my fault and I am not hiding from the truth. At first it was hard and everytime someone asked I cried. Now at least I can make it to the car before I cry or sometimes even make it home. Hope this helps.

Im so sorry Becky! :( Wow, 4 years? That is so sad, your daughter is missing out!

It's hard to answer questions that you can't really answer. My husband has trouble at his workplace. They know that he became a "Grandpa" last April, and some still ask how his grandson is doing. He usually just "skirts" around the question, and really hasn't much to say, because we have missed seeing our dear little grandson for over a full year now.
I try to politely change the subject, and simply respond.."last I hear, my son is doing fine..but it's been over a year now." Like becky, I am finding it increasingly difficult to tell stories, and pretend that I have seen him recently..I was never really good at pretending anyway.
Hope this helps. You sound like you handled the questions very well and you should be proud that you were able to answer without breaking down. I still have to quietly go to a place where no one sees me crying, but someday, I hope not to be so emotional, and able to speak the truth in love and without tears.
I haven't had people ask any questions much more, as I don't go to very many family events..but that's another story completely. Jesus knows my pain, and He is faithful to help me respond when I need the help.

I am semi estranged from my family due to abuse and am often asked about my siblings. I just simply state I am not close to them and drop the subject.

Now our daughter, all who know us knows she is lethal and we try to have as little contact with her as we can. So for the most part, no one asks.