I read your account and just wanted to try to encourage you a bit. Several years ago I too got 2 very nasty hateful text messages from a blocked number. The phone company finally sent me the number after DH spoke with them and when I took it to the local PD and the detective called the number, it turned out to be our daughter. The relationship had been strained prior to this event but after this, the estrangement became final, my choice now, not hers. One msg said I was a waste of human skin, and the other said I was lower than whale poop and that was at the bottom of the sea. I no longer recieve texts on my cell phone, but those 2 texts are still on it, my choice again as a reminder. We used to get lots of calls on the landline too with heavy breathing and that type of nonsense so I had it taken out. I got new numbers on the cell phones so she can no longer play those games, btw she is 38. That was back in 2006 I think. She has jerked us around like a yoyo for years and we have had all we are goiing to put up with. Playing mind games, accusations, running us down to any and everyone who will listen to her. She sent us a tape on forgiveness back in 08, then in 09 we got another angry hate filled letter that she delivered to DH place of employment and tried to evoke sympathy from his co-workers, in 2010 she sent another taunting letter we had grandkids we did not get to know or see. Since we are both retired now she really has no way of contacting us except by snail mail, and those we just ignore. As a Christian I have to believe what the Bible says about people lacking natural affection in the last days. I am convinced we are there. I do not mourn or grieve her or our ES and neither does DH. We have and did for a long time but we worked through it. Give it to God. That is the best gift I can think of to give to you. Just turn the whole thing over to Him and everytime it washes over your mind say a little prayer. He does listen and answers prayers, He did ours and He will yours too. God Bless.

Oh..so sorry to hear how your estranged son is emotionally abusing you. I understand, it has happened to me with the text message thing..although I only received one really nasty one. You could just ignore these assaults because you know how important you are to God. I know how much this hurts. I pray that God gives you the strength to not believe a word of these terrible text messages. I have done this. You are correct that the Bible says that people will lack natural affection in the last day Happytobefree. Your advice is spot on, and I hope our dear sister here will soak up love from other people in her life. I have decided not to accept this treatment anymore, so I don't respond to my ES.
If the messages don't stop, you should be able to put a block on his number. He is old enough that you could press harassment charges, but that would be extreme.
We can only pray that God protects our hearts and minds from this type of abuse. It's terrible that our own loved adult children can turn into such hurtful bullies, but that's what this is.
Praying for you dear friend..hang in there. You are with friends here who understand.

I remember when Roseanne Barr accused her father of molesting her. She had been seeing a therapist and was married to that nasty Tom Arnold...and they had both suggested and in a sense brainwashed her into actually believing this abuse actually happened. I think the monsters that my ED is with in a sense do this as well. My ED, being a dramatic 19 year old will make something up and then they play on it...building it up to make it much worse than even her lie was. I don't know if your ES has others around him that would do this...but I know for some people in a weakened state it's apparently fairly easy to influence them. I would meet with him...but not over Christmas. There's no reason your holiday needs to be ruined by his drama. Perhaps he would be willing to meet with you with a third party present, a therapist or Pastor? Blaming parents for their own problems seems to be a common thread among these kids.

Thank you all 3 for your great advice. I know I have to give it over to God, but how do I know that it is right with God? How do we know for sure how God wants us to handle this situation?
My son is going through Psycology school right now, so yes, he is subject to 3rd party influences. I think he must have gotten ahold of a Freudian professer, as they tend to blame everything on the mother. I am trying SO hard not to let this ruin my holidays. He definetely ruined my weekend, thank GOD I didnt have to go to work this morning, I dont think I could have done it. I have decided to have my husband tell him he isnt welcome for Christmas if he is going to be abusive. That is a given, I know he wants to chew on me some more. My youngest son doesnt want him to come home either, because he doesnt want to be stuck in the middle. I dont blame him...not his problem. I have wracked my brain ALL weekend going back 15 or 20 years trying to figure out why he hates me so much. I honestly was not a bad mom, I was a stay at home mom & dedicated my life to being a good mother. He is looking for someone to blame for his life not turning out the way he wanted it to. I am his scapegoat. I told my husband I REALLY hope he feels better now that he's gotten this off his chest. If he doesnt, it was a waste. I want him to have closure on whatever he thinks I did..Thank you for the prayers, I can use all I can get right now. God Bless you all! Nancy