Gma6, God knows everything that is in your heart!!! I'm sure he knows you were attacked by Satan... Rest assured he knows your pain in this estrangement also.. I believe he will bring us back with our children when the timing is right! Think positive and know that none of this is your fault... It's hurt and sadness and it turns into anger.. Stay positive and I hope you never have a terrible weekend like that again!!

gma6 I have (and I'm sure many here have) felt as if there was no way to climb but up. Of course, God is not to blane for estrangement or any other problem that exists. He loves us too much but he does allow free will. Look at the shape of our country, today. That is what led my pastor to write, "The Harbinger".

You are so right when you say that it is a satanic attack and spiritual warfare. The enemy wants to destroy us through this trial BUT GOD... We need too hold on all the tighter and move all the more closer to Jesus each day even if all we can whisper is, "Help me". He will. He is faithful and will not leave us comfortless. I have learned (and still am) throughout this past 16 months,once again, that life is hard (for all) but without God it would be impossible. Who would want to go on? I must put Him first no matter what. That is what He desires most.

I pray that we may all seek Him each day. TRUST HIM, REST IN HIM, and PRAY.

What a wonderful response lindajoan. God forgives us always when we ask and repent. gma6 - last weekend is just that, last weekend - the past. Let prayer uplift you and help you find happiness during this estrangement. I have decided to take a break from my thoughts about my ES. I am going to disconnect for awhile and keep my thoughts and actions on things that make me happy. And it has helped.

gma6 - I hope you can find something that you really love and pursue it. Right now I exercise, stamp cards that I send to the elderly who are forgetten about, spend time with friends, try new recipes and patiently wait for the snow to melt so I can get out in my garden. You are in my prayers.

Dearest Gma, you are so precious in my heart- I do think of you and pray for you often.

You reminded me of a time when my precious little 6 yr old got so angry with me that she shouted "I don't have a mother anymore!"Dis it change the way I felt about her one little iota? Oh course not. Did it change the fact that I am still her mom? Nope.

(Just a side note, she is 27 now and again throwing that same tantrum...hmmm)

I don't believe God is angry with you- your outburst did not change His feelings for you or make Him quit being your dad.

In fact, I happen to believe the opposite!The one thing God is after from each of us is relationship! Relationships have hard moments, and real relationships require honesty about our true feeling, both good and bad.He loves it when we come to Him not just with warm fuzzies but with honest, raw emotion! The Psalmist often cried out to the Lord- with pain, agony and impatience.

Ps 18:6 In my distress I called upon the
LORD, and cried unto my God: he
heard my voice out of his temple,

Ps 35:17 Lord, how long wilt thou look on?
rescue my soul from their destructions,
my darling from the lions.

He LOVES you, darling, and that will never change!

My loving sisers in Christ, how blessed am I. I left here to teach and wondered if there would be responses, mostly I was wondering if there was going to be wow, how could you cross that line, how could you speak to God that way of course he has let you go to never come back, there is no sacrifice now. But no, I waited and came home to see how my God lovingly ministers to me through all of you.
Warrior, when I first came back here you were one of the first ones I remembered and you are still here, shining for our Lord and ministering through your pain ..
May our Lord who is slow to anger and full of compassion, touch each and every heart, giving peace to the restless, courage and strength to the weary, and lives that give glory to the one who loves us who has a plan for us..Jerimiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future
This was my sustaining scripture He gave me a little over a year ago.

Yes Gma, you ARE truly blessed with these wonderful women here as am I. It broke my heart that you were so concerned about your salvation. It did bring joy in knowing how upset Satan had to have been when you reached out with that concern. When you did that, you were saying that I do love God, Satan has no hold on me! Not too long ago, we had a good discussion on what scripture refers to as "the only unforgivable sin", Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. I would suggest you might read through that discussion as it was so full of insight. Our God will not take our salvation so easily. He knows whats in our hearts. Our minds on occasion are a bit confused, but when we truly accept Jesus in our hearts, Hes there. It doesn't matter if it was years ago or yesterday. If it is a true conversion, it is done.

I had so many days of anger at God. I yelled out, was just broken. I didn't care if He was angry at me or not. I felt he let me down. How sad that it was me letting Him down. But even though He may have been sad for a moment, His ultimate joy was that I belonged to Him and not to the enemy! I will always belong to Him. The enemy loses. He has no power where God is.

gma6,
Your anger is normal but was triggered from anxiety, unknown fear, hurt, disappointment, and frustration all purely gunny-sacked as a result from your ECs' actions. We can be angry, just not sin. You really felt defeated and at your lowest. It's at these times when the enemy strikes hard and makes his presence known to really discourage you and place doubts in your mind and heart about your very own salvation with the Lord. Giving up your Christianity is exactly what the enemy was trying hard to accomplish and he definitely was targeting you and causing you to just give up and blame everything on God when you know Satan is the divider in relationships. Please keep remembering it was your ECs who made their choice for estrangement. He has already divided and destroyed your relationship with your ECs, now he is doing more to totally destroy you and finish you off. This is what I interpret happening.

The following is a wonderful promise you can claim:

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

"...in me ye might have peace; not in the world, in which they were to have tribulation: there is no true, solid peace, to be enjoyed in the world, and the things of it; the world can neither give it, nor take it away; nor have the men of it any knowledge and understanding of it; and much less enjoy it: nor in themselves; spiritual peace does not arise from any duties, services, and performances of men; no, not from an attendance on the Gospel, and the ordinances of it; nor even from the graces of the Spirit; for though peace may be enjoyed herein, and hereby, and through these, as means; yet does not come from them, but from Christ, in whose strength alone all duties are performed aright; who is the sum and substance of the Gospel, and the ordinances of it, and the object of all grace: it is in him, and in him only, in his person, blood, righteousness, and sacrifice, which speak peace, pardon, and atonement, that a soul finds any true, solid peace, rest, comfort, and joy; and here he may, and does find it, in opposition to the cry of sin, law, and justice, for wrath, ruin, hell, and damnation. There is a peace by Christ, which he has made for his people by the blood of his cross; and there is a peace in him, which is enjoyed through faith's looking to his blood for pardon, to his righteousness for justification, to his sacrifice for atonement and satisfaction; and by having communion with him, and discoveries of his love, and by seeing safety and security in him. (Gill's Exposition of the Entire Bible)

Claim peace and your salvation with Jesus and simply say out loud: "Get away from me Satan in Jesus' Name!" and he will flee and go away, leaving you alone because he cannot stand to hear the name of Jesus. You are experiencing spiritual warfare and can really help yourself by doing this to overcome what the enemy is trying to do to destroy you. He has already done much damage to your girls, now attacking you. Don't allow him to put a foothold in your life!

Allow me to say a prayer for you:
Right now I lift up gma6 to you Heavenly Father and ask Lord that you give her safety and protection from pesky and persistent Satan who is hell-bent on keeping her stirred up and her emotions running high. I ask God to give her a calm and healing like none other so later she can testify to experiencing Your peace, mercy, grace, and strength only You can provide her. Reassure her about any doubts she may have regarding her salvation experience and help her to know without a shadow or doubt she is a child of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. May our wonderful caring God bring the needed comfort and healing only He can minister right now. We ask all these things in Jesus' blessed name and boldly claim it! Amen...

You are going to make it gma6, so hang in there and know I care and ♥ you...

Thank you Abandoned. I got a lot out of your words. Blessings.