Christian Fellowship Community Group
A safe place for Christians who Love Jesus Christ to meet and ask for prayer and share scriptures from the bible. We value the posting of Christian music, poems, stories and also personal testimonies. Please let us know your needs, concerns and have some fun getting to know each other. We treat each other with respect.
On Apology:
I didn't cite scripture on this one, but simply offer it as a methodology that works for me. I think it not only applicable to transgressions against others, but also how we should ask our forgiveness of God.
Acknowledge my error.
Own it and openly state it to the offended party(ies). No minimizing or excuses. "I have come to know that I have offended you by my saying, doing, failure to say, or failure to do (specifically and accurately describe the error of offense).
Apologize.
"I am sorry. Will you please forgive me?". It is imperative that there be no qualifications of any kind. An apology does not have a 'but'. Anything between "I'm sorry." and "Please forgive me?" turns that apology into an insult. For example, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt you." REALLY means "I am not sorry at all, and I shall continue the interruption for as long it pleases me to do so, because I know that a gentleman such as yourself will forgive me anyway for my rude, crude, and socially unacceptable behavior."
Atone.
"What shall I do to make right my wrong?", "What restitution shall I make?". In MOST situations, the offended party will say "Oh, nothing." In such cases, one is still obliged to make restitution simply with a pledge not to repeat the mistake. In a shop or market, it's more like, "Uhhh... How much does that broken crystal bowl cost?" LOL. You get the picture.
I just thought of a fourth "A":
Action.
Make the restitution, and honor the pledge to not repeat the error.
Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
On Forgiveness:
As opposed to apologizing, proper forgiveness is TOUGH!!!
Scripture first, then my own thoughts.
Pater Noster / Our Father / The Lord's prayer:
Matthew 6:12-15
"12 Forgive us our debts [trespasses against others] as we forgive our debtors [those who trespass anainst us]"
Matthew 6:14,15
"14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
- According to this, our forgiveness from God is conditional on our own forgiveness of others. If we expect to be forgiven by God, we must also forgive others.
Matthew 5:48
"48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect."
- As human beings, we are simply incapable of forgiveness that is even close to the forgiveness that God offers freely for the asking. When we forgive others, we are to do so in the same manner as God has forgiven us. Our own fallibility is what makes this SO DIFFICULT to do properly. God's forgiveness is PERFECT.
Ephesians 2:5
"5 Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;)"
- God's forgiveness is INSTANT. Our sins are ALREADY paid for by Christ's suffering - We need only ask for that forgiveness and we receive it instantly! We are simply fallible, as such, we are incapable of the same instant forgiveness. The best we can do is work to get over the hurt, and find in ourselves the grace to forgive.
John 10:28,29
"28 And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.
29 My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand."
- God's forgiveness is irretractible. So our forgiveness should also be. We are to forgive AND forget. Once forgiven, always forgiven. Once forgiven, it is as if the sin never happened in the first place.
Matthew 18:21,22
"21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven."
- The ONLY option we have when we are wronged is to forgive. There is no circumstance when forgiveness is not due when wronged by another. Neither does the offensive party need apologize, ask to be forgiven nor even be penitent for their transgression.
- KK
I didn't cite scripture on this one, but simply offer it as a methodology that works for me. I think it not only applicable to transgressions against others, but also how we should ask our forgiveness of God.
Acknowledge my error.
Own it and openly state it to the offended party(ies). No minimizing or excuses. "I have come to know that I have offended you by my saying, doing, failure to say, or failure to do (specifically and accurately describe the error of offense).
Apologize.
"I am sorry. Will you please forgive me?". It is imperative that there be no qualifications of any kind. An apology does not have a 'but'. Anything between "I'm sorry." and "Please forgive me?" turns that apology into an insult. For example, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt you." REALLY means "I am not sorry at all, and I shall continue the interruption for as long it pleases me to do so, because I know that a gentleman such as yourself will forgive me anyway for my rude, crude, and socially unacceptable behavior."
Atone.
"What shall I do to make right my wrong?", "What restitution shall I make?". In MOST situations, the offended party will say "Oh, nothing." In such cases, one is still obliged to make restitution simply with a pledge not to repeat the mistake. In a shop or market, it's more like, "Uhhh... How much does that broken crystal bowl cost?" LOL. You get the picture.
I just thought of a fourth "A":
Action.
Make the restitution, and honor the pledge to not repeat the error.
Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
On Forgiveness:
As opposed to apologizing, proper forgiveness is TOUGH!!!
Scripture first, then my own thoughts.
Pater Noster / Our Father / The Lord's prayer:
Matthew 6:12-15
"12 Forgive us our debts [trespasses against others] as we forgive our debtors [those who trespass anainst us]"
Matthew 6:14,15
"14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
- According to this, our forgiveness from God is conditional on our own forgiveness of others. If we expect to be forgiven by God, we must also forgive others.
Matthew 5:48
"48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect."
- As human beings, we are simply incapable of forgiveness that is even close to the forgiveness that God offers freely for the asking. When we forgive others, we are to do so in the same manner as God has forgiven us. Our own fallibility is what makes this SO DIFFICULT to do properly. God's forgiveness is PERFECT.
Ephesians 2:5
"5 Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;)"
- God's forgiveness is INSTANT. Our sins are ALREADY paid for by Christ's suffering - We need only ask for that forgiveness and we receive it instantly! We are simply fallible, as such, we are incapable of the same instant forgiveness. The best we can do is work to get over the hurt, and find in ourselves the grace to forgive.
John 10:28,29
"28 And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.
29 My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand."
- God's forgiveness is irretractible. So our forgiveness should also be. We are to forgive AND forget. Once forgiven, always forgiven. Once forgiven, it is as if the sin never happened in the first place.
Matthew 18:21,22
"21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven."
- The ONLY option we have when we are wronged is to forgive. There is no circumstance when forgiveness is not due when wronged by another. Neither does the offensive party need apologize, ask to be forgiven nor even be penitent for their transgression.
- KK
Luke 18:10-14
10Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican.
11The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican.
12I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.
13And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.
14I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.
I just wanted to spell out some of the things I try (but often fail) to do in these situations.
Thank you so much for the feedback, guys! :)