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Meekness and Humility Toward Other People
Meekness toward God is the most fundamental and basic sense in which we must be meek and humble. Yet as it is with love, so it is with meekness: if we are truly meek toward God, this will lead us to be meek and humble toward other people. In our relations with other people, meekness and humility requires us to do the following:
I. We Must Submit to Human Authority Ordained by God.
We do not say that men have the right to make laws in religion that fall outside the realm of what God's word authorizes. But God's word says that we must also be subject to various forms of human authority. Note some instances where meekness and humility are expressly mentioned regarding our submission to these authorities:
A. Citizens' Submission to Civil Rulers
Titus 3:1,2 - In the same context where we are told to be meek (gentle - NKJV) and humble toward all men (v2), we are also told to be subject and obedient toward rulers and authorities.
1 Peter 2:13-15 - Be submissive to ordinances of man, whether king or governors, or to proper representatives of these rulers. Why should we submit? Because it is God's will. Meek submission to God's law will lead us to meekly submit to rulers.
Why is it that people refuse to submit to laws? Why cheat on taxes? Why disobey speed laws, etc.? Because we don't want to do what the law says, we want to do what we want. We are self-willed, unwilling to deny self. What qualities do we need so we can avoid these attitudes? We need meekness and humility - willingness to set aside our will and submit to the will of the rulers.
B. Wives' Submission to Husbands
1 Peter 3:1-6 - Repeatedly God says wives are to be submissive to their husbands. In the midst of this teaching, he requires women to be adorned with a "meek (gentle - NKJV) and quiet" spirit. Note this instruction is in the middle of the discussion of obedience to husbands. Why?
Why do many modern women deny the concept that man is head of the family? Why are so many women unhappy and rebellious toward the idea of following the will of their husbands?
There are several reasons, including the fact many husbands selfishly misuse their authority and fail to treat their wives with honor and respect (v7). But some wives have trouble obeying when their husbands do not accept their wives' view, even when husbands are respectful. And Peter said wives should obey husbands even when husbands are not obeying God's word (v1).
Why do women struggle with this? Because it is so "humiliating" to have to do what a man says. Woman has her own ideas about what she wants to do. "My ideas are just as good as his." "I've got my pride, you know." Many women are encouraged by modern humanistic psychologists to be "self-assertive" and "stand up for themselves." God says what is needed is a "meek and quiet spirit."
There are other forms of ordained authority we must submit to: children to parents, employees to employers, etc. None of us is free to do just whatever we want. All of us need to learn meekness and humility.
Note we are to submit first to God; we do not obey man when he tells us to disobey God (Acts 5:29). But we still are not doing what we want. We do what God demands first, then what those in authority demand. We do what we want only when allowed to by God and by proper human authorities.
The solution to our stubborn, rebellious attitude toward authority is meekness and humility.
II. We Must Honor Others Rather Than Exalting Ourselves.
One who is truly meek and humble does not belittle or neglect the good qualities of others in order to obtain glory and honor and recognition for himself.
Romans 12:3 - Don't think more highly of self than you ought to think, but think soberly.
"Think so as to have sound judgment" (NASB). Be honest and realistic in evaluating yourself compared to others. It is easy to think we more capable than others, have better ideas than others, deserve greater honor than others, when this may not be the case. Specifically:
Admit your weaknesses and especially your sins.
Most people tend to overlook their own sins or downplay the seriousness of them. When I do something, it's a weakness or personality deficiency; when you do the same thing, it's a sin. We already showed we are all sinners. None of us deserve the honor of eternal life any more than anyone else.
Appreciate the good qualities of others.
Other people do have good points, and often they are better than we are in some areas. We tend to exaggerate our own good points, and exaggerate other people's bad points. The fact we have different abilities from someone else does not mean we are more important than they or more worthy of honor than they (note vv 4,5).
Give God credit for what good points you do have.
"...think soberly as God has dealt to each one..." If a sober evaluation shows you do have abilities and righteousness, remember you could as easily have been born in far more deprived circumstances. And you are righteous only because God has forgiven the sins you committed. Give glory to God.
Romans 12:16 - Do not set your mind on high things ... Do not be wise in your own opinion.
A humble person does not focus on how to make a big impression on people or how to receive glory and honor. Some people won't accept any job, situation, or relationship unless they think it will exalt them in the eyes of others. "What will people think?" Give them a job that lifts them up before people, and they'll do it. Give them a job nobody knows about and it never gets done (or is done only begrudgingly).
The humble person will accept any task whereby he can help people, no matter how humble that task is in the eyes of men. He will associate with any people whom he can help and who will help him serve God, even if the world does not highly exalt those people.
Romans 12:15 - Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.
Some people are too proud to be glad when other people receive honor and respect. They think that honor should have come to themselves. Some are too proud to be really sorry when other people have problems. They think those people had it coming to them.
A humble person is sincerely glad when people receive what is really good for them (by God's standard), and he sincerely weeps with people who are troubled.
[Luke 18:9-14; 14:7-11; 16:15; Titus 3:2,3]
III. We Must Serve the Needs and Interests of Others
A humble person is willing to inconvenience himself in order to help others. He is willing to forego his own desires so other people can receive what they need.
Matthew 23:11,12 - Greatness is measured in terms of service rendered to others.
People then, like now, thought greatness was measured by how much honor you receive from people or how much authority you possess (vv 5-10). If you dominate and control others, you are important.
But we are really great (worthy of being exalted by God) if we humble ourselves to do what is good for others, regardless of what men think. This does not mean authority is evil. We have already seen that God ordained it. Jesus possessed it, yet he was meek. The point is just having authority does not make you great. Service makes you great, and you can do that with or without authority. But service requires humility.
[Matthew 20:25-28; 1 Peter 5:5]
Philippians 2:2-8 - Each should count others better than himself (v3).
This does not advocate false humility wherein we think everybody has more ability than we do. Should my wife think I am a better cook than she is? Should a professional carpenter or musician think I am better than he is? NASB: "Let each one of you regard one another as more important than himself." I must be willing to let your needs and problems take priority over mine.
V4 - Let each of you look out, not just for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
I should have enough concern for your wellbeing that I am willing to set aside my own desires in order to serve your needs.
Genesis 13 - Abraham illustrates this with Lot. He let Lot have first choice. He could have insisted, as the older man, that he have first choice. But he humbled himself and let Lot choose. Some people think, "You're first, after me."
"As I consider you above, you likewise consider me above, and so [on] all around. [The result is] a marvelous community in which no one is looked down upon, but everyone is looked up to" (Lenski). I should deny and sacrifice myself to the point of eliminating self-concern so I can allow your needs to be met.
Vv 5-8 - Jesus is the example. He was meek and lowly.
Though He was in heaven with God, in the form of God, He humbled Himself and came to earth as a man, and obeyed to the point of death. Why? To meet our needs. To be of service to us. We should have that mind in us (v5).
Meekness toward God is the most fundamental and basic sense in which we must be meek and humble. Yet as it is with love, so it is with meekness: if we are truly meek toward God, this will lead us to be meek and humble toward other people. In our relations with other people, meekness and humility requires us to do the following:
I. We Must Submit to Human Authority Ordained by God.
We do not say that men have the right to make laws in religion that fall outside the realm of what God's word authorizes. But God's word says that we must also be subject to various forms of human authority. Note some instances where meekness and humility are expressly mentioned regarding our submission to these authorities:
A. Citizens' Submission to Civil Rulers
Titus 3:1,2 - In the same context where we are told to be meek (gentle - NKJV) and humble toward all men (v2), we are also told to be subject and obedient toward rulers and authorities.
1 Peter 2:13-15 - Be submissive to ordinances of man, whether king or governors, or to proper representatives of these rulers. Why should we submit? Because it is God's will. Meek submission to God's law will lead us to meekly submit to rulers.
Why is it that people refuse to submit to laws? Why cheat on taxes? Why disobey speed laws, etc.? Because we don't want to do what the law says, we want to do what we want. We are self-willed, unwilling to deny self. What qualities do we need so we can avoid these attitudes? We need meekness and humility - willingness to set aside our will and submit to the will of the rulers.
B. Wives' Submission to Husbands
1 Peter 3:1-6 - Repeatedly God says wives are to be submissive to their husbands. In the midst of this teaching, he requires women to be adorned with a "meek (gentle - NKJV) and quiet" spirit. Note this instruction is in the middle of the discussion of obedience to husbands. Why?
Why do many modern women deny the concept that man is head of the family? Why are so many women unhappy and rebellious toward the idea of following the will of their husbands?
There are several reasons, including the fact many husbands selfishly misuse their authority and fail to treat their wives with honor and respect (v7). But some wives have trouble obeying when their husbands do not accept their wives' view, even when husbands are respectful. And Peter said wives should obey husbands even when husbands are not obeying God's word (v1).
Why do women struggle with this? Because it is so "humiliating" to have to do what a man says. Woman has her own ideas about what she wants to do. "My ideas are just as good as his." "I've got my pride, you know." Many women are encouraged by modern humanistic psychologists to be "self-assertive" and "stand up for themselves." God says what is needed is a "meek and quiet spirit."
There are other forms of ordained authority we must submit to: children to parents, employees to employers, etc. None of us is free to do just whatever we want. All of us need to learn meekness and humility.
Note we are to submit first to God; we do not obey man when he tells us to disobey God (Acts 5:29). But we still are not doing what we want. We do what God demands first, then what those in authority demand. We do what we want only when allowed to by God and by proper human authorities.
The solution to our stubborn, rebellious attitude toward authority is meekness and humility.
II. We Must Honor Others Rather Than Exalting Ourselves.
One who is truly meek and humble does not belittle or neglect the good qualities of others in order to obtain glory and honor and recognition for himself.
Romans 12:3 - Don't think more highly of self than you ought to think, but think soberly.
"Think so as to have sound judgment" (NASB). Be honest and realistic in evaluating yourself compared to others. It is easy to think we more capable than others, have better ideas than others, deserve greater honor than others, when this may not be the case. Specifically:
Admit your weaknesses and especially your sins.
Most people tend to overlook their own sins or downplay the seriousness of them. When I do something, it's a weakness or personality deficiency; when you do the same thing, it's a sin. We already showed we are all sinners. None of us deserve the honor of eternal life any more than anyone else.
Appreciate the good qualities of others.
Other people do have good points, and often they are better than we are in some areas. We tend to exaggerate our own good points, and exaggerate other people's bad points. The fact we have different abilities from someone else does not mean we are more important than they or more worthy of honor than they (note vv 4,5).
Give God credit for what good points you do have.
"...think soberly as God has dealt to each one..." If a sober evaluation shows you do have abilities and righteousness, remember you could as easily have been born in far more deprived circumstances. And you are righteous only because God has forgiven the sins you committed. Give glory to God.
Romans 12:16 - Do not set your mind on high things ... Do not be wise in your own opinion.
A humble person does not focus on how to make a big impression on people or how to receive glory and honor. Some people won't accept any job, situation, or relationship unless they think it will exalt them in the eyes of others. "What will people think?" Give them a job that lifts them up before people, and they'll do it. Give them a job nobody knows about and it never gets done (or is done only begrudgingly).
The humble person will accept any task whereby he can help people, no matter how humble that task is in the eyes of men. He will associate with any people whom he can help and who will help him serve God, even if the world does not highly exalt those people.
Romans 12:15 - Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.
Some people are too proud to be glad when other people receive honor and respect. They think that honor should have come to themselves. Some are too proud to be really sorry when other people have problems. They think those people had it coming to them.
A humble person is sincerely glad when people receive what is really good for them (by God's standard), and he sincerely weeps with people who are troubled.
[Luke 18:9-14; 14:7-11; 16:15; Titus 3:2,3]
III. We Must Serve the Needs and Interests of Others
A humble person is willing to inconvenience himself in order to help others. He is willing to forego his own desires so other people can receive what they need.
Matthew 23:11,12 - Greatness is measured in terms of service rendered to others.
People then, like now, thought greatness was measured by how much honor you receive from people or how much authority you possess (vv 5-10). If you dominate and control others, you are important.
But we are really great (worthy of being exalted by God) if we humble ourselves to do what is good for others, regardless of what men think. This does not mean authority is evil. We have already seen that God ordained it. Jesus possessed it, yet he was meek. The point is just having authority does not make you great. Service makes you great, and you can do that with or without authority. But service requires humility.
[Matthew 20:25-28; 1 Peter 5:5]
Philippians 2:2-8 - Each should count others better than himself (v3).
This does not advocate false humility wherein we think everybody has more ability than we do. Should my wife think I am a better cook than she is? Should a professional carpenter or musician think I am better than he is? NASB: "Let each one of you regard one another as more important than himself." I must be willing to let your needs and problems take priority over mine.
V4 - Let each of you look out, not just for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
I should have enough concern for your wellbeing that I am willing to set aside my own desires in order to serve your needs.
Genesis 13 - Abraham illustrates this with Lot. He let Lot have first choice. He could have insisted, as the older man, that he have first choice. But he humbled himself and let Lot choose. Some people think, "You're first, after me."
"As I consider you above, you likewise consider me above, and so [on] all around. [The result is] a marvelous community in which no one is looked down upon, but everyone is looked up to" (Lenski). I should deny and sacrifice myself to the point of eliminating self-concern so I can allow your needs to be met.
Vv 5-8 - Jesus is the example. He was meek and lowly.
Though He was in heaven with God, in the form of God, He humbled Himself and came to earth as a man, and obeyed to the point of death. Why? To meet our needs. To be of service to us. We should have that mind in us (v5).
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