I would think that if it were possible for you guys to get back together that the Lord will be very happy as we know that our Father does not like us to seperate from the covernant that we made with our spouce. It would be good for your child to have both parents together again. Not sure on the last bit but hope someone can give you some advice there

8 months isn't long enough for a violent man to become a non-violent man. Never mind the sex, putting you and your child in danger of your lives is sinful. It's VERY UNLIKELY for a beater to quit.

P.S.: Your journals are marked "friends only."

Read Ephesians 6:10-20. Don't let him in your bed unless or until he has taken treatment for his rage. That is going to take a lot of time. Learn to wait. Wish I could sugar coat this, but you are endangering your own life and your child if this man is allowed around you untreated.

I agree with lokkingforpeace about the covenant. However don't be misled with desire. Make him wait... you are worth his recovery and the wait... I believe people can change... I was once a sinner but now I am saved and it only took a confession... not 8 months... I know there is nothing too hard for GOD!

I would advise against any sexual interaction with him while you are divorced. As far as praying, I wouldn't pray for specifics, I would just pray for Gods will in the situation, and that He works in both of your hearts to bring His will manifest. I do believe that people can change, but they have to be truly repentant, and only God can determine if they are or not. On our end, we have to judge by the fruits... and it is only possible to fake the appearance of change for so long. Change is a process, even when God is working on us. SO if God is working on creating a change in your ex-h, then that change will still be there when some time has passed and patience has had its perfect work. The way I see it, if he is truly changing, he will also be willing to support all of those things which lend to healing in your relationship, which means also, abstaining from lustful desires while you reset the foundation of your marriage. Don't underestimate the craftiness of the devil. I know what Keona is saying, and while there is merit in the statement, being saved may be instantaneous, but the changing of habits and patterns of behavior still can take time. Certain things in my life changed instantly when I accepted Christ, other changes have been a matter of evolution and weeding out old junk. I've been saved for years, but that doesn't mean I don't sin, it just means that I receive the conviction of the holy spirit. Being saved doesn't mean that we will never sin, it just makes us open to the conviction of the spirit to guide us from sinful desires, and hopefully we listen when we receive such a conviction. But I guess thats neither here nor their since your exh isn't saved anyway... YET... but don't give up on his becoming saved!

I think that probably, just the fact that you asked the question about having sex with him indicates that you on some level sense a conviction about it.

I believe that sometimes the best way to show that you love someone is to not have sex with them. Let him show you his love by his abstenance while you two examine together the possibilities of returning to your marriage covenant.... patiently and prayerfully. Don't rush.

I heard a great quote this morning which I posted on my bulletin board:

If its part of your destiny, you can't lose it... and if its not, you can't keep it.

If its Gods will for your marriage to be restored, then it will also be possible for it to be restored... but I believe we can undermine that possibility by not doing it Gods way.

Luke 1:37 - KJV "For with God nothing shall be impossible."

Agree with - aikijedi

I know how confusing this must be to you, I'm sorry you are going through this. I do think God is speaking to you though and maybe you're just not receiving from Him because of the confusion. The Bible tells us clearly to "Not be yoked with non-believers," whether he was your husband before or not. Until he comes fully to the Lord and proves himself. . .you are in danger. Sex outside of marriage, even with an ex, is still sex outside of marriage. Remember. . .sex isn't always love. Please don't short change yourself. This is a time to focus on Jesus....

Good luck sister.

Caru:
I was very moved by your words. I was the child of parents who divorced but continued to love each other for years. You can never separate yourself form someone you marry and have a child with. You are forever united, regardless of a paper or law that divides you.

I have been married for 22 years. I have something of valuable to say after all these years of marriage. Karu - It is not up to you to bring your husband to Christ. That is God's work. Enduring faith is rare! You ahve faith that he may never experience. This is where the conversation should begin. I was also physically abused as a child and my step-father hurt my mother and brother. This doesn't not happen in my home, not to my children.

Any disagreement that I have ever had with people, including my husband, in due to their lack of faith.

If I am correct, you may believe your husband's intentions are always as good as yours. Men who abuse women have been abused in some way. They have stopped believing that God is in control and they feel alone. It is very difficult for an abused man to die to himself and trust his life to God. Those who are capable of letting God lead became amazing leaders, becuase they lead by example.

Your husband/ex-husband is still your husband forever. But he will need other Godly men to guide him.

I hope this answers your need.
Katherine

I am also sorry you are going through this pain. My concern is for you and your child. Is he receiving any help with his anger issues? In my opinion I read up on domestic violence. Get therapy yourself and also the both of you together. What I have read about domestic violence is their is always a honeymoon stage. Please be-careful. You can not make someone change, they have to want to change. hugs and prayers