Children of Estranged Parents Community Group
Children who are estranged from their parents due to disagreements, unresolved issues. A place for Adults to share their struggles, emotions, and pain.
Hi Everyone,
My name is Megan and I have been a part of the Motherless Daughters group for over 5 months now. I was very excited to see that this group had been here all along. I have a huge twist to my estrangement.
I will try to keep the back story short and simple. My mom suffered much gruesome abuse at the hands of her own mother as a child. She had her first child at 16 and unknowingly suffered from mental illness. As a child, my mother was a dream to me. I worshiped the ground she walked on and we shared a connection that is indescribable. She was wonderful. She was my world.
Around the age of 11-12 her mental illness and instability started to come to the surface. It was a slow process, but by the time I was 13, she had fully snapped. She and my dad split up, she picked up drinking from her new, much too young boyfriend and gave up her duties as a mother.
Over the next 5 years I became the parent, the drinking got worse, she attempted suicide multiple times, and my whole world was full of mind games, neglect, fear, loneliness and extreme instability.
At 18 I moved out and then at 19 became pregnant. Things hadn't gotten any better for my mom. Her drinking was becoming more and more of a problem. A few moths after I had my son, I began to distance myself from her to put all of my mental energy into being stable and not bringing her dysfunction into the new life I was starting. It was NEVER my intention to stop all communication, since I still loved her just as much as always. I was never mad at her and always seemed to understand that it wasn't her, it was her mental illness.
Before I knew it we lost all communication and the years began to pass. Holidays were awful, I worried about her everyday. I missed her and I knew she missed me. I carried a lot of guilt since I was all she had. She was totally alone in the world without me. I hated every moment of it, but the more time passed, the harder it was to reach out.
In the back of my mind I truly believed that we would reconcile one day and I was just waiting for it to come. 8 long, sad years went by somehow. I had moved out of the state for 2 years and just this past Nov '11 I decided to move back to my hometown area, 10 minutes from my mom! I thought this is it. I am finally going to reconnect with her.
She was on my mind constantly. Then after only a week of being back, I got the worst news of my life so far. On December 9 '11 she was found dead in her home. She had been dead for approx 3 and a half weeks. Her 2 beloved cats were also dead from starvation. We will never know what happened or when it happened. She was only 59. I am 29.
I can't cope with the regrets and loose ends. My poor, beloved mother died alone in sadness. And I will now never get to tell her all of the things I had been waiting to say. I will never get to repair the damage. I will never get to hug her, see her or speak to her again.
I thought missing her for 8 years was enough and that it would be coming to an end, not just beginning. I have been without a mother since the age of 13, and now I will never have her back.
Please help...
Thank you all,
Megan
My name is Megan and I have been a part of the Motherless Daughters group for over 5 months now. I was very excited to see that this group had been here all along. I have a huge twist to my estrangement.
I will try to keep the back story short and simple. My mom suffered much gruesome abuse at the hands of her own mother as a child. She had her first child at 16 and unknowingly suffered from mental illness. As a child, my mother was a dream to me. I worshiped the ground she walked on and we shared a connection that is indescribable. She was wonderful. She was my world.
Around the age of 11-12 her mental illness and instability started to come to the surface. It was a slow process, but by the time I was 13, she had fully snapped. She and my dad split up, she picked up drinking from her new, much too young boyfriend and gave up her duties as a mother.
Over the next 5 years I became the parent, the drinking got worse, she attempted suicide multiple times, and my whole world was full of mind games, neglect, fear, loneliness and extreme instability.
At 18 I moved out and then at 19 became pregnant. Things hadn't gotten any better for my mom. Her drinking was becoming more and more of a problem. A few moths after I had my son, I began to distance myself from her to put all of my mental energy into being stable and not bringing her dysfunction into the new life I was starting. It was NEVER my intention to stop all communication, since I still loved her just as much as always. I was never mad at her and always seemed to understand that it wasn't her, it was her mental illness.
Before I knew it we lost all communication and the years began to pass. Holidays were awful, I worried about her everyday. I missed her and I knew she missed me. I carried a lot of guilt since I was all she had. She was totally alone in the world without me. I hated every moment of it, but the more time passed, the harder it was to reach out.
In the back of my mind I truly believed that we would reconcile one day and I was just waiting for it to come. 8 long, sad years went by somehow. I had moved out of the state for 2 years and just this past Nov '11 I decided to move back to my hometown area, 10 minutes from my mom! I thought this is it. I am finally going to reconnect with her.
She was on my mind constantly. Then after only a week of being back, I got the worst news of my life so far. On December 9 '11 she was found dead in her home. She had been dead for approx 3 and a half weeks. Her 2 beloved cats were also dead from starvation. We will never know what happened or when it happened. She was only 59. I am 29.
I can't cope with the regrets and loose ends. My poor, beloved mother died alone in sadness. And I will now never get to tell her all of the things I had been waiting to say. I will never get to repair the damage. I will never get to hug her, see her or speak to her again.
I thought missing her for 8 years was enough and that it would be coming to an end, not just beginning. I have been without a mother since the age of 13, and now I will never have her back.
Please help...
Thank you all,
Megan
pfeifferjan
Hi Megan, I am an estranged mother. I hope you don't mind my reply. It hurts both ways honey. I see your post is 5 years old but I was touched by it. Thank you for it.
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