Children Of Bipolar Parents Community Group
This is a place where those of us who have Parents struggling with Bipolar.I have started this group because my Dad is very sick and I myself have so many questions and need support.So I figured I can't be the only one who is going through this tramatic time.Everyday I wake up hoping to hear the life and soul put back into my Father.It's been three months...
Hi Yall,
Thought I would take time out of my evening to pop up here and tell ya alittle bit about myself.
Well im from Pittsburgh PA but I live in Texas. I lived with my aunt for 14yrs before I got married in June of 2012.
My aunt is bipolar and cause of her harsh out breaks of mood swings ( mild - serve) it has effected me a lot. when I was little - preteen to teen it really didn't brother me that much I just thought that's how almost every mother was but it didn't start effecting me intill I was in my early 20s. It even is still effecting me even after the wedding and prior to the wedding ( furture husband) and I would be fighting (95%) about what she was throwing a fit about. Anywhos its still stressing me out even tho I live an hour away from her which she cant drive that far cause of a broken tail bone caused by a car crash many many many yrs ago. She causes drama like u will not believe. She is controlling me all the time, she demands things from me, she never ever sees who I really am and just keeps this pic in her head of me as a 12 yr that is ungrateful, selfish, doesn't put anyone 1st, irresponsiable ,. She trys to tell me how to live my life as if I don't know how to do that already. She swears that my marriage isn't going to work out but it is and will be cause what GOD puts together no man shall separate it! Everytime she calls I turn white as a ghost and I feel all the blood rush from my head down to my feet cause I know that she is calling cause she is either mad at me or wants me to do something for her. My aunt also volunteer's me to do something that I wasn't told of intil she already promised to another person that I would do that. I also feel that because of all of this I have major self-steem issues / condfinence issues . Ive been torn down sooo many times over the years and still is being torn down from her flaming mad mind. I just don't know how to stand up to her and tell her how I feel about different things. Im afraid of her in what she might do if I do this or that cause my husband and I are just making it month to month type of bases and cant afford any more financial duties as my aunt likes to take things away from me which she thinks that I will learn from but Im way past that point. But its things like she argeed to do which we didn't ask her to do it for us she came to us and ask us if it would be alright of she did this for us. It just totally stresses me out. And she also treats me like a little kid but I guess most of u already picked that up by now. She doesn't give me any respect but she gives respect to my now Husband since we started dating and takes in the consideration of what he said to her when he stood up to her. BUt if I do that I don't get treated the same way at all. BUT even worse was when I was planning my wedding omg which is to be the most joyfulness time in my life but because of her bipolariness it just made it really bad like for ex: she wanted to go with me for the dress fitting so I asked her to go but she turned it down and told me cause we aruge over everything cause we like different things. and the week of the wedding this is one of the arguments I do remember she got into my face and told me that I wasn't going to be able to see or date my furture husband after the fact the WHOLE wedding was PAID OFF!!! so im like ok so then I go then the next day or so she starts up how the mother of the bride is to be involved in the planning and all omg. Thru the whole process we argued more then normal if that is a normal lol we just argue all the time and its very rare that we do get along but if I say just one thing or do just one thing it could set my aunt off!!!!
Sorry this is long but ive been seeking some place like this for all these yrs!!! OMG. Anywhos do any one have any good advice about how to handle this?? and how for me to stand up to her with out her going off on me?
Thanks for taking this time to read and respond
Mrz Lu
Thought I would take time out of my evening to pop up here and tell ya alittle bit about myself.
Well im from Pittsburgh PA but I live in Texas. I lived with my aunt for 14yrs before I got married in June of 2012.
My aunt is bipolar and cause of her harsh out breaks of mood swings ( mild - serve) it has effected me a lot. when I was little - preteen to teen it really didn't brother me that much I just thought that's how almost every mother was but it didn't start effecting me intill I was in my early 20s. It even is still effecting me even after the wedding and prior to the wedding ( furture husband) and I would be fighting (95%) about what she was throwing a fit about. Anywhos its still stressing me out even tho I live an hour away from her which she cant drive that far cause of a broken tail bone caused by a car crash many many many yrs ago. She causes drama like u will not believe. She is controlling me all the time, she demands things from me, she never ever sees who I really am and just keeps this pic in her head of me as a 12 yr that is ungrateful, selfish, doesn't put anyone 1st, irresponsiable ,. She trys to tell me how to live my life as if I don't know how to do that already. She swears that my marriage isn't going to work out but it is and will be cause what GOD puts together no man shall separate it! Everytime she calls I turn white as a ghost and I feel all the blood rush from my head down to my feet cause I know that she is calling cause she is either mad at me or wants me to do something for her. My aunt also volunteer's me to do something that I wasn't told of intil she already promised to another person that I would do that. I also feel that because of all of this I have major self-steem issues / condfinence issues . Ive been torn down sooo many times over the years and still is being torn down from her flaming mad mind. I just don't know how to stand up to her and tell her how I feel about different things. Im afraid of her in what she might do if I do this or that cause my husband and I are just making it month to month type of bases and cant afford any more financial duties as my aunt likes to take things away from me which she thinks that I will learn from but Im way past that point. But its things like she argeed to do which we didn't ask her to do it for us she came to us and ask us if it would be alright of she did this for us. It just totally stresses me out. And she also treats me like a little kid but I guess most of u already picked that up by now. She doesn't give me any respect but she gives respect to my now Husband since we started dating and takes in the consideration of what he said to her when he stood up to her. BUt if I do that I don't get treated the same way at all. BUT even worse was when I was planning my wedding omg which is to be the most joyfulness time in my life but because of her bipolariness it just made it really bad like for ex: she wanted to go with me for the dress fitting so I asked her to go but she turned it down and told me cause we aruge over everything cause we like different things. and the week of the wedding this is one of the arguments I do remember she got into my face and told me that I wasn't going to be able to see or date my furture husband after the fact the WHOLE wedding was PAID OFF!!! so im like ok so then I go then the next day or so she starts up how the mother of the bride is to be involved in the planning and all omg. Thru the whole process we argued more then normal if that is a normal lol we just argue all the time and its very rare that we do get along but if I say just one thing or do just one thing it could set my aunt off!!!!
Sorry this is long but ive been seeking some place like this for all these yrs!!! OMG. Anywhos do any one have any good advice about how to handle this?? and how for me to stand up to her with out her going off on me?
Thanks for taking this time to read and respond
Mrz Lu
deleted_user
Hey - I can relate to being a punching bag for the negative emotions of a bipolar family member. Is your Aunt getting the help she needs to control those moods? My mom was the same way. I thought it would never ever change, so I was ready to throw in the towel for good with her. I wrote her a letter because talking to her directly about how I felt put her in a super defensive mode ... and then she would have "memory lapses" which didn't help her see what I was talking about either. So in my letter, I rehashed all the issues telling her to please get help or I would have to cut off ties essentially. Somehow it got through to her and she is taking meds now and it is a lot better ... though she still has relapses where she will not take them. It's not a happy ending though, I still struggle with the fact that she will never be a complete person capable of being a true mother figure in my life. It's hard, but you may feel better having closure by taking a break from your aunt for a while and just enjoy your functional relationship with your new hubby. Or, try to communicate what you feel through a mode where she can't interrupt you or ignore you (email?). Honestly, I'm still figuring this out too ...
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