Children Born of Rape Community Group
This group was created as a sounding board for those who feel they suffer from the shame, and/or guilt, of having being conceived as a result of rape. Those of us, who find it hard to live with that pain, or anger, and who need a place to express and vent their feelings, are welcome, and encouraged, to do so here. Someone cares, someone will listen. As the group founder,...
When I was too young to understand how babies were made my mother just simply told me it was me and her; I was born with out a father. When I was 3 my mother started dating a man. I remember being jealous that my mom was spending time with someone else and I didn't like him. Before long he had us moving to a whole new city, away from my grandparents so he could go to college; I was disliked him even more. A year later they got married and my mother had him adopt me. I grew to love him more than anyone else. Hes my daddy.
As I grew older and realized that my dad wasn't biologically related to me I kept quiet. I didn't want to hurt him or my mom by asking any questions. I had suspicions about who this mystery person was and even thought the worst but I was content with my life.
Today my mom and I got on a random conversation about pregnancy's as I asked her questions like "What was everyone's reaction when they found out you were pregnant with me? I was expecting my mom to become serious and retort with "well what do you want to know." I remained quiet and stared at her for a long time before finally asking "did something horrible happen," she got up and closed her bedroom door and then sat down next to me, grabbed my hands and told me that she had been raped. She quickly told me how much she loved me and that she would do it all over again if she could. She told me that I was all hers and nothing could ever change that. I cried and cried on her shoulder. I kinda always knew but nothing had ever confirmed it until now.
My immediate thoughts were "how could she ever love someone who was created out of hate,"
My mom won't give me his name, even though I am 20 years old she's afraid if he ever found out about me that I could be in danger.
Part of me knows that I should forgive him but a bigger half wants revenge. I just wish I could look him in the face so I could see what kind of monster could ever do this to a person.
Please give me advice, I don't know how I'm suppose to feel. I also have no idea how to be okay with this.
As I grew older and realized that my dad wasn't biologically related to me I kept quiet. I didn't want to hurt him or my mom by asking any questions. I had suspicions about who this mystery person was and even thought the worst but I was content with my life.
Today my mom and I got on a random conversation about pregnancy's as I asked her questions like "What was everyone's reaction when they found out you were pregnant with me? I was expecting my mom to become serious and retort with "well what do you want to know." I remained quiet and stared at her for a long time before finally asking "did something horrible happen," she got up and closed her bedroom door and then sat down next to me, grabbed my hands and told me that she had been raped. She quickly told me how much she loved me and that she would do it all over again if she could. She told me that I was all hers and nothing could ever change that. I cried and cried on her shoulder. I kinda always knew but nothing had ever confirmed it until now.
My immediate thoughts were "how could she ever love someone who was created out of hate,"
My mom won't give me his name, even though I am 20 years old she's afraid if he ever found out about me that I could be in danger.
Part of me knows that I should forgive him but a bigger half wants revenge. I just wish I could look him in the face so I could see what kind of monster could ever do this to a person.
Please give me advice, I don't know how I'm suppose to feel. I also have no idea how to be okay with this.
God bless you and try to forgive the monster.