Childless Not By Choice Community Group
This group is for people who after years of trying to conceive or for medical reasons never got to have children.
Hello everyone,
You can call me klearity.
I am 32 and have cystic fibrosis.
Due to the nature of CF, I will never be able to have kids.
I am finding it very hard to deal with this reality.
Just for your information, CF is a progressive, fatal, lung disease. It requires me to take MANY medications, spend time in the hospital for weeks on end, and will eventually damage my lungs to the point where standing for a few seconds will be insanely hard (at a young age, not at something like 80, half of the people with CF in Canada die before they turn 48).
Right now, at around 50-60% lung function, I am as healthy as I ever will be. I have sustained this for some time but there is no way to know when I will start the descent into end-stage lung failure.
As you can imagine, going through pregnancy with such limited lung function would prove to be an extremely risky task.
Even if I were able to get pregnant (many people with CF are infertile), and deliver, actually raising a child would be too much for me to endure.
For example:
I have very limited energy sometimes and this will continue to be a problem as my lungs get worse. How would I have the energy to raise a child?
What happens when I get sick and am too tired to care for a child?
What happens when I am in the hospital multiple times a year for weeks at a time?
What happens when the child gets sick and I am scared to get sick (I am more susceptible to respiratory infections and even a simple cold will last a week or two, maybe more)?
How would I be able to devote the time to care for my own health, while raising a child?
What would I do when I am unable to carry my child and walk (which is hard - for me to carry anything a bit heavy and walk)?
How would a child accept that 'mommy cannot run or play with you because she cannot breathe'?
These are just some of the reasons why I will never be able to even try to have a baby.
I find people do not understand....they give me platitudes, think I am just complaining or over-reacting.
And I am the age where just about all of my friends are having kids.
And to see pics of them after just giving birth breaks my heart...because I will never get that chance.
As a child myself, I never dreamed of having a wedding, or a big fancy house.
I dreamt of being a mom.
And it poisons me that this will never become a reality.
You can call me klearity.
I am 32 and have cystic fibrosis.
Due to the nature of CF, I will never be able to have kids.
I am finding it very hard to deal with this reality.
Just for your information, CF is a progressive, fatal, lung disease. It requires me to take MANY medications, spend time in the hospital for weeks on end, and will eventually damage my lungs to the point where standing for a few seconds will be insanely hard (at a young age, not at something like 80, half of the people with CF in Canada die before they turn 48).
Right now, at around 50-60% lung function, I am as healthy as I ever will be. I have sustained this for some time but there is no way to know when I will start the descent into end-stage lung failure.
As you can imagine, going through pregnancy with such limited lung function would prove to be an extremely risky task.
Even if I were able to get pregnant (many people with CF are infertile), and deliver, actually raising a child would be too much for me to endure.
For example:
I have very limited energy sometimes and this will continue to be a problem as my lungs get worse. How would I have the energy to raise a child?
What happens when I get sick and am too tired to care for a child?
What happens when I am in the hospital multiple times a year for weeks at a time?
What happens when the child gets sick and I am scared to get sick (I am more susceptible to respiratory infections and even a simple cold will last a week or two, maybe more)?
How would I be able to devote the time to care for my own health, while raising a child?
What would I do when I am unable to carry my child and walk (which is hard - for me to carry anything a bit heavy and walk)?
How would a child accept that 'mommy cannot run or play with you because she cannot breathe'?
These are just some of the reasons why I will never be able to even try to have a baby.
I find people do not understand....they give me platitudes, think I am just complaining or over-reacting.
And I am the age where just about all of my friends are having kids.
And to see pics of them after just giving birth breaks my heart...because I will never get that chance.
As a child myself, I never dreamed of having a wedding, or a big fancy house.
I dreamt of being a mom.
And it poisons me that this will never become a reality.
bk42author
Hello klearity. I just joined this group as well. Had to stop ttc after 3 years..."unexplained infertility." It's been over a year and not getting any better.
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